Why do some men find it hard to express their true feelings?

Question

Will it ruin the macho image?.... what?

I believe a man who shows his true feelings is a real strong man.

I'm not talking about a cry baby here, a man who is intouch with his feelings doesn't mean he's a cry baby or a whimp.

Answer 1

you might be right but not all men are like that. I think they dont want to say anything that would make the girl think less of them meaning showing weekness but not for me, i try express myself as much as possible.

Answer 2

Because guys are often expected to be the "rock" in a relationship, atleast in my experience.

Human sexuality works in such a way that women are drawn to, basically, protectors. This is why tall men are viewed as more attractive - they're bigger, they can protect them. It has nothing to do with female/male weaknesses or strengths, it has to do how our mind is wired. Animals are the same way.

Guys are aware of this, and act accordingly. I think why us guys rarely express our feelings is because it would feel like we're abandoning that protector role. Like we're not doing our job, basically.

To give an example, a few years ago one of my female friends was killed in a car accident. In the weeks after, it felt as though a few of my female friends were coming to me not to mourn together, but for comfort. I had to shove my own emotions down in order to be there for them. I had just lost a friend as well, but it felt like my role was to help them.
On the other hand, my guy friends really didn't talk about it much at all. Atleast not the same way my female friends did. They tried to carry on like before. That's how we coped.

Women may think that it takes a real strong man to show his true feelings, but it doesn't mean other guys aren't having those same feelings. It's not out of fear of their own image that they're holding them in, it's because we're trying to be strong for others.

I guess it's just another one of those things that makes men and women look at eachother while thinking, "Huh?"

Answer 3

Because of a load of macho b***s**t that they have been subjected to for their entire lives. Big boys dont cry springs to mind. They are never encouraged to talk about their feelings as children like I am angry or I am sad and they dont have the language ans skills as adults to do so. I have a little boy of four and I ask him when he is happy, sad, angry etc how he is feeling and why. I try to get him to explain why he is feeling that way and what we can do to fix it. Hopefully he will be a little bit more emotionally well adjusted when he gets older without being a wuss!

Answer 4

i believe it does ruin the macho image, yes. but then again i guess they are afraid of being let down by another girl, but then it is a good thing to be open about anything b/c that makes the communication better between the girl and the guy.

Answer 5

we live our true feelings

we dont need to speak of them explore them sit and try to feeeeeeeeel them
we are them

why is it so hard for some women to be able to read a man's life?
Is it because they overlay us with all the conjecturing?
I am what I show
what I feel is what I am doing
I am action and activity expressing my feelings every moment
if I am quiet I act quiet
if I am excited I do something
I am an open book

I believe a woman that can accept that I am open and alive and active is the one that I want to spend time besides the time in bed with
I have had plenty of women able to get me into bed but rare is the one able to walk by my side and share life with me throughout the day without going through emotional drama insecurities
I like strong women just like you like strong men

Answer 6

I believe you have it right. But soem men believe they have t keep up an image so they hide their feelings and resentment. It buids up inside them and then they do carzy things. Also like a guy above me said, some women like their men to be macho idiots. So I guess it depends on the kind of man you want for yourself.

Answer 7

I think it is all to do with this kind of primative hard man, hunter gather thing. Guys learn from a young age that emotion is not permited. They are teased and bullied if they show any feeling, by peers, parents, especially male role modles manipulate the behaviour of there boys, and so they learn to survive by creating a hard shell image. Personally I agree with you hun, but it seems wider society is happy to keep pushing out these hunter gather clones!

Answer 8

1. We were brought up not too.

2. We were beaten up or teased as kids when we did that.

3. We don't want to look like a girl.

4. We don't see the point. What will it actually achieve? And why should I express my feelings? They are my feelings, what have they got to do with anyone else.

Answer 9

Alot can be put on upbringing. If one is brought up to not give up opinions or be vocal about what they think, then it is not in them to do it much later in life either.

Men are historically doers not talkers...

Case in point, you show me a man that gets in a fight and mouths off 20 minutes about how he is pissed and just hates the hell out of the other man, I'll show you a quiet man that will kick his **** and not say a word about it...

Answer 10

You say that now, but wait until you've been with some crybaby emo for a couple of weeks. Pretty soon you'll be pulling your hair out and eyeing some "tough guy".

Emotions get in the way when it comes to providing for your family. Women are biologically programmed to be attracted to men who are strong (i.e. don't "express their true feelings"). They can't help it - they are the victim of millions of years of evolution. Just as men are biologically programmed to place little regard on feelings - they don't advance the survival of the species.

Answer 11

im not so sure if you're asking it because you're in this kind of situation right now..anyway, you are correct that showing true feelings is a sign of strength. however, there are several reasons for not saying it... but whatever the reason is, surely it is a personal choice in the end...

it doesn't necessarily follow that when i dont say my feelings then it is an act of cowardness. there are many things to consider in a situation you're into in the first place: your own situation, his situation, and of others as well.

make the person feel comfortable of saying it..reassure that he will be accepted for who he is and no matter what..it will not lessen your femininity if do approach him first, just like it doesn't follow that us, men, will become less of a man if we dont express our feelings right away.