What a loss
Life is such a loss
When somebody else is the boss
You who are nothing, how can you expect to win
If somebody else has already decided that you belong in a bin
Nothing to be seen, no where to go
No vision, no light
Just gloom and doom in sight
But I will trust in the Lord
For I know His promises
Therefore I will wait and be still
For He has paid the final bill
Now I am free and
Can be me
Just as I am
He as accepted me
2007-09-20 19:48:40 · 15 answers · asked by INCOGNITO 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Thoughtful piece Susan. (((Hi)))
Remember that you are never alone even when your day turns into midnight. God is ofen closes to us during our times of discouragement. He loves you. He sincerely cares about you. Our hope and our strength is in the Lord.
1 Peter 5:7
2007-09-22 23:48:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope that writing about your feelings has helped you through your difficult times and that you are feeling better. As for the poem itself I'm a little bothered that there's no meter that I can find. Some of the lines are awkward such as "somebody else has already decided you belong in a bin." It seems like you were forcing the rhyme especially since the line is longer than the one you rhyme it with. Rhyming can make poetry interesting and lyrical, but it's not necessary so if you have trouble with it you can focus on meter and your poems would flow more nicely than this one does. Keep on writing and asking for feedback to improve your skills.
2007-09-20 19:58:33 · answer #2 · answered by TheShankmaster 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It began in despair and ended with new hope. It was as lovely as a rose blossoming on a cloud. Nice piece.
2007-09-21 12:25:15 · answer #3 · answered by Semp-listic! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two things to say (by the way it's a beautifully written poem even though I dont' agree with it)
The boss, we can too choose our life. Your path may be laid our for you but only you can decide to walk the chosen path or not. Even if you do walk the chosen path, you don't have to give up your principles (hope).
As for the lord part. Can't wait around for some supreme being to save us but to save ourselves and to save what we have (our values, our life, our town, our country, our world)
2007-09-20 20:07:00 · answer #4 · answered by typical dude 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I like it , when you read it , it is almost as if a burden lifts off your shoulder, like it goes from gloom and doom to light .
2007-09-21 10:36:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Really nice! I felt the depression at the beginning but felt inspired towards the end.
Short, simple but full of meaning. Very inspirational. I've recited the last two paragraphs several times, I like it. Thanks for sharing.
2007-09-20 19:59:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
innocent.....
you are not nothing.....you are the Lord's beloved...always remember that
the value standards set by this world mean nothing....we are all going to have a glorious future with our King soon
2007-09-20 22:44:52 · answer #7 · answered by Marianne T 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are there and on the right track good times for you~~
2007-09-20 19:57:47 · answer #8 · answered by burning brightly 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-09 14:09:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like that,, your very creative, i used to love writing poems but havent in ages,,,, you keep it up,, great work A+
2007-09-20 21:44:18 · answer #10 · answered by ROCKMUM LOVES BOWIE 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋