He's 16, she's 40; they're married?

Question

Read this link >>>>> http://www1.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Cities/Delhi/Hes_16_shes_40_theyre_married/articleshow/2388110.cms What is your assessment with regard to this case? Are our teenage children safe in this society? Please give serious thought & reply.

The whole press briefing itself is my concern & question. I too have teenage son of some what same age & it really concerns me as a father. I want your opinion on this topic. This lady what ever she did is not digestable; it’s not the age difference but what she did with a child of 16years that is wrong. Hope you understand what I mean, here it’s the question of child abuse not age difference which is important issue. Now you may say he is 16 years & not a child any more, but even if he is not a child he is not a grown up man to understand the relationship in which he has been dragged by this lady. In India even the marriageable age for a male is 21 years & from that point of view also it’s wrong. Now say what you want to say.

Answer 1

This story is shocking and that is India. Here the whole nation was shocked after a young gentleman in his twenties married a grandma to say in her late sixties. It is a story which is very much ripe as the couple is very active in it's daily cores in business and life. The two claim to be happy together, even the family of the young man has got no way out as the two are less concerned about who's advice or involvement in their life. However I would rather say that this case is different in that the subject boy here is a school going student who needs to first think about life in the future. This lady teacher has committed a very serious offense causing such a minor to drop off school and join in family matters. Even if it will mean continuing with education while still together, it will really affect his life. He will not serve two masters at once and make it. I would suggest that the two be separated under strict conditions and even this woman who should have advised this young boy as her own, be brought to answer the charges. This is a young boy at his age. He's still too young unlike the case I just narrated to you where the male is over eighteen and is responsible for his own mistakes in life and an adult. The woman took this gentleman simply due to wealth, weighing things in todays life at least a case like his though against the society here, was dissolved and forgotten with questions resting among many up to today. But with a school going boy, and an adult, it should be treated as a very serious offense. There is no love here, who won who in their case and why, this is a young boy, my brother. am in my late twenties but can't accept it, this is my brother whom I should advice to concentrate in his studies with all my age difference ability causionning him against such affairs. The Law there should wake with power to end such a stupid ignorance of this lady.

Answer 2

It's child abuse, it's a crime, and in an ideal world she'd be arrested as a child sex offender. As you say, it's not the age difference that is the issue, but more importantly the fact that he is just 16. He does NOT have the maturity to give informed consent.

But seeing as our Law Ministry just rejected a bill to have a special law on Offences Against Children .. nothing much will probably be done on this case. Our country does not actually have any specific law against child abuse.

Also people tend to think that women can't be sex offenders and somehow romanticise the whole thing. If HE was 40 and SHE was 16 there'd be a lot more outrage. Either way, though, it is sexual exploitation. Plenty of pedophiles think they love their victims and vice versa, but that does not stop it from being abuse, and that does not stop it from being hugely harmful to the child, with lasting long-term emotional damage.

I work on the child abuse issue and if you are a concerned citizen/parent then please do visit my website and also consider joining the e-group there as I am working a lot on raising awareness about the child abuse issue, so you would get useful information there - tips on how to talk to your kids about these issues, signs and symptoms of abuse etc. and also a lot of links to other organisations that work on these issues in India and Asia.

I would like to add that it is not necessarily that teenage kids are not safe "in this society" .. assuming you mean today's modern society .. teenage kids were not safe even in the old society. For that matter, even little kids aren't and weren't safe. Child abuse is nothing new, it has been here (yes here in India) for a very long time. People just like to pretend that it hasn't.

Answer 3

I think that the internet has created a pathway for misleading the hormones of individuals. Without judging the motivations of either the woman or the man, I can say that the truth behind their actions will come to light at some point.

This young man does not know that the power of romantic and sexual love can make one take actions he regrets later. This woman, also may not know that she corrupts this man, with her need for love and attention. It is sad that no one could prevent it.

My husband is significantly younger than me. Not like this situation. And no we didn't meet on the internet. But I do feel well qualified to say that love isn't the same as romance or sex. It is about putting the other person first.

How much of this article is about a future, and how much is it about an impulse? I suggest that parents may want to protect their teens through education rather than restraint. This was preventable, and certainly it will not work given it was over a few weeks.

I feel bad for the boy since he will regret later on and it may affect his chances for a mate (or arranged marriage as may be the case). The woman, well, she is probably alone and was in a situation that made her not in her right mind at this time.

Unfortunate, but certainly preventable.

Answer 4

D/VIJAY
Not just teenager, anyone will be safe as long as the press do not publish and make it more public aware and induce these perversions. I said the same thing in the U.S 25 years back when ABC telecasted about incest btwn father n daughter. Ever since, a hug from father is viewed with suspicion. Why telecast and poison the mind of the young. No one is denying that the world is saint and none of these things are not happening. So best certain matters must be swept under the carpet-- including not posting this article on this site-- for example.

Answer 5

Hi!

How r u,

It's nothing just attraction through communication and think even the mother of a boy is less then that lady to whom he married. It's not good to have this kind of relation. Marriage is a ritual and we are doing this to settle our home well, to find a partner who understand each other, to give birth to a baby, to enjoy life, etc. but here is nothing like this how can a 16 years boy can understand 40 years lady and to be a good father, means what is the purpose behind this marriage only a affection between two nothing else. Even that boy spoiled his career and girl her character. Both given pain to there near dear one and also this is not a social marriage.

As per me it's wrong and i am sure in future they will realize it.

Also the boy is under age and this kind of marriages are not approved by law.

Answer 6

It looks sickening and sad, as we are not used to get this kind of news. However lets be honest, if men can marry way young women i mean 30-40 years younger , then why can women not be able do the same thing. It used to be men's world, looks like women are asking for the same rights as men. When it comes to teenage children, that includes the girls and boys together , however that's my opinion. We have to accept changes as society keeps on the the road to unending changes. The only thing i am not sure about is that , if this marriage is legal in India or not. If its legal then fine, if not then more people involved in it are responsible legally, like who issued marriage license , and who performed the ceremony.

Answer 7

Teenagers -- globally are unsafe, they tend to be misled many a times. But in this case I wish the boys parents could have intervened and brought things under control. Often in the urban cities both the parents are off to work - they hardly have time for their growing kids. Teenagers again need lot of love - time and understanding from parents.

And on the other end the lady who is 40 should have understood the generation gap and thought about the consequences they both would face if they are going to live as husband and wife.

She is almost like a mother to him. Now, thinking more deeper - has this kid lost his mothers love? Well, this requires more probing anyways now that they are married - I guess as this kid grows he would move out of this relationship.

Answer 8

It's the strong starvation for sex for the lady and the present day adventurism of the boy must have resulted in seduction by both to each other to come closer and continue with relationship and further continue the same by putting on the appron of marriage after the society came to know of illicit relationship. There can't be real love between them and sooner or later the boy is more likely to withdraw as the fellow may go for more young ladies.The lady who dares to enter such a relationship will not repent but may be isolated in the society .

Answer 9

Its disgusting.The woman must be of his mothers age.I must say that teenage children are unsafe at this time when technology has grown so much.Parents are so busy that they do not know what their kids are up to.Take the case of Adnan ,a 16yr old boy,who was murdered by his friends who he met through Orkut.But what parents can do,they do give strict instructions to their teenage children but these children wont listen.You know how teenage children are.Generally,7 yrs age gap of man & woman is considered alright but in this case the age gap is too much.The couple have crossed their limits by marrying each other.Both are at fault especially the woman.How can she think about marrying a boy who is 16yrs even if they got to know each other through chatting?The woman is matured enough to know what is wrong & what is right.But she is not the only one to be blamed.

Answer 10

We are taught to believe that husband should be Older to wife in age. I remember few cases where you too will agree that what happened in India is nothing compared to what I am informing you.

1- Hollywood actress Ms Elizabeth Taylor last married a facotory worker who was aged 26 and she was more than 70 years.

2-Italian actress Ms Ginalolbrigida planned marriage to her fan nearly three decades junior to her, but this marriage could not take place

3- Female teachers ,above 30 , in America have been charged for luring their students to have illicit relations

If male marries younger woman it is not talk of the town. look at the fact , a trillionnair of Texas,America ,age 89, married Anna Nicole, Hollywood actress, age 26. This did not raise any question at that time to India. but when a woman of 40 marries a boy of 16 years .it becomes news.

For the kind infomration , If India is Vibrant after Globalization, cultural impact of Western countries will be felt on Social front too.

The Woman power is Great. India is feeling the effect of power only now.