I've been friends with this girl for a few months. For the last three weeks or so, we've been on the phone for an hour or two a day. She tells me about her day, etc....but she has a boyfriend, and these are things that she should be talking to her boyfriend with.
I do care about what she has to say, and I've told her that she should spend more time with her bf, but she says that he's busy and doesn't have time for her.
I feel like I've got the crappy part of a bf's job. She nags on about how crappy her co-workers are. And I want to listen, but really these are things her bf should do.
How can I tell her that I want to listen, but calling me everyday for 2 hours isn't something I want to do....
That doesn't make me a jerk does it?
2007-09-20 19:23:26 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
lol not a bit Chigga infact ur right lol it's wat shez supposed to tell her bf and not not that so u shud put ur foot down on somethings. People will try walking all over u untill u make it clear to them so at times it needs clear stating so go ahead and tell her wat u think lol don't worry she'd still be ur friend ;-) atleast u'll be honest to her. Tell her that ur being honest bout how u feel.
Ah an other alternate solution to this is start talking to her bout wat crap u face everyday even if u don't make some up lol bore her with something or the other till she understands how she must be treating u lol make her listen to ur stuff and c how she reacts. lol
2007-09-20 22:12:30 · answer #1 · answered by kittana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not a jerk, a bit frustrated maybe, but not a jerk.
Change the subject often on her.
If that doesn't work, then tell her the truth..
which is, you think her BF is not good enough for her and she should go out with you.
She could be doing the small talk just to hear your voice and she already told you her bf doesn't have time for her, so that is kind of telling you she is available!
What is the worst that could happen, she says no to you. Well then she will lighten up on the calls and save and ear or 2!
2007-09-20 19:32:26 · answer #2 · answered by kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you arent a jerk at all but I have to say this really isnt a bf's job. This is the job of a friend to listen to her crap although granted 2 hours is way too long to complain and talk about the same thing over and over. she might be using you as a "girlfriend". when you talk to her dont tell her to spend more time with her bf. while she might need to spend more time with him you should tell her that she should find more female friends so she cant rant about the people on her job and throw in make-up and fashion so seh doesnt take it the wrong way. just let her know that her conversations are mis-directed
2007-09-20 19:55:37 · answer #3 · answered by Vicky Lovers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no not a jerk! When she calls you can say hey cant talk long gotta do stuff or just not answer your phone if she calls. If she does not get the hint you can either talk with her BF and let him know she needs to depend on him and not you. If you tell her straight out she annoys you, you may hurt her feelings and ruin the relationship. Its all about the tone in your voice. Tell her you are concerned about her relationship with her bf again.
2007-09-20 19:31:15 · answer #4 · answered by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Chigga,
There's only one important question here: Do you like her? Because a "yes" & a "no" has different implications. If you like her, then talking with her is something you want to do all along (for the meantime, let's not include her bf, we'll tackle about him later)..If you don't like her, then she's more of a nuisance to you. Now let's go to her bf..She might be falling out of love with him without even being aware of it & she's beginning to enjoy your conversations. Or she might just be lonely and wanting someone to talk with. All this speculation really boils down to "whether you like her or not" because if you do..Then go ahead and talk with her..Hey, you're not a jerk. You're simply a human being with feelings.
2007-09-20 21:52:34 · answer #5 · answered by BERNARD C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it doesn't. You have your own life. She is using you as her emotional boyfriend because she doesn't get that from her boyfriend. Tell her you'll be her friend, but if you had a girlfriend then you wouldn't want her speaking to some guy at length the way this girl is doing with you, so you really don't feel she should be talking to you as much either.
2007-09-20 19:34:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the type of girl she is. If she is understandable about stuff like that, then she could understand well about the situation. If shes the type to start drama at any given moment, she would probably take it as an offence.
I don't think what you want to tell her makes you look like a jerk, but remember its about the person who you want to tell it to that will make a difference. Some will think you are; I personally don't think so.
2007-09-20 19:28:58 · answer #7 · answered by Twilight Elk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no no no ur not a jerk to me its seen likeshe and her bf dont talk so much and care about hes job more then her i talk to my gf like 3 hours and its not bad u know atless u make her happy u get me man think about it if u did not talk to her she idk here something off my head umm she been sad and stuff and u make her happy its like this she want to talk to u 2 hour a day cuz she want a man to talk to and u r that man i will say this ur lucky man very if she and her bf not going good u can be with her if u have a gf ok this is all i think ok hope u been good btw ur no Jerk u just need some time to ursef
2007-09-20 19:44:40 · answer #8 · answered by nsalard 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that her bf should be taking more time to talk to her. Tell her that you really like her as a friend, but that you have been neglecting things that you should be doing to talk with her for so long. Tell her that you would appreciate it if she would let you call her when you have the time to talk..
2007-09-20 19:31:04 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not a jerk at all.
When she calls tell her you can only stay on the phone for a few minutes 'coz you have plans, there's a show on TV that you've been waiting to watch or there's someone at the door, etc.
People can't take advantage of you unless you let them.
2007-09-20 19:32:39 · answer #10 · answered by PAULA J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋