Is my mom WAY too overprotective about me?

Question

I am 12 and I live with my adopted mom, who looked after me since I was 8, she is 29.
I am not allowed to watch r rated movies.

I have to go to bed at 8:30.

My mom lets me shower or bathe my self but after im done she comes and slathers like 100 pumps of lotion on me herself to make my skin smooth and checks to see if my hair is washed.

she wont let me play M rated games and she does not let me go over 4 blocks without her.


Is my mom a little overprotective or is this normal for her to do?
I told her if i can have my privacy and if i can go outside but she said its my job as a mom to do these things.

what do you guys think?

Well shes from europe like slovakia i think. Shes very tall like 5;9 and she likes to care about her body and how athletic she is.

its so annoying when after my shower she has that nivea firming lotion for dry skin bottle with her and rubs it all over me. I said i can do it myself but she said " its not a big deal your only 12 and this way I make your skin perfect smooth"

I dont know if its to do with her from europe but please I want to know.

i am a guy not a girl...

Answer 1

I guess the lotion thing is a little bit odd considering that you are a boy, but everything else seems fine.

Answer 2

I think that is a little over the top really

I am sure she means well in her own way but as for the lotion I sure hope you are at least wearing shorts or something when she is doing this?

She is just trying to keep you safe not letting you play M rated games or watch R rated movies as these contain somethings that are not really suitable for a 12 year old to watch.

Going to bed at 8:30 It's probably a little early for your age group but mums do need their alone time. You could ask her if you can read in your room for half an hour or so before lights out. My son is only 8 and he stays up till 8:30 so if your 12 I think 9 is a fair time.

I also think that at your age you should be entitled to privacy as you are now a changing young man. My son has his privacy I always knock before entering incase he's getting dressed. I think your mum really needs to respect you and your privacy.

What I do with my son is he has his privacy but if he breaks my trust he looses his privacy maybe you could make a deal like that with your mum.

As for not being allowed to go more than 4 blocks withour your mum this is just a protection thing she just worries about you anything can happen out there but at your age you should be allowed to go a bit further than that alone at least 6 blocks

I sure hope you can resolve some of these issues with your mum specially the whole privacy thing!!!

GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 3

You are 12...you shouldn't be allowed to watch R rated movies til you're 17. A bedtime is a good thing. My opinion, 8:30 may be a little early for a 12 year old unless you have to get up at 5 a.m. You should be showering/bathing yourself, and also lotioning yourself. You are 12. You should not play M rated games, and I would not let you go 4 blocks without me either, in this day and time. Personally, as a mom of teens, I agree with your mom on everything except the lotioning ritual, and the 8:30 bedtime. And, yes, it is a mom's job to protect her children.

Answer 4

Well the only part that I would question is the whole lotion thing. My 12 year old has eczema (extremely dry skin), and I used to do the whole lotion thing for her. But starting around 9, she could do most of it herself, and now I only put the lotion on her back for her.

I think you should just tell her that now that your 12, you need to have more privacy.

As for the other things...do you watch the news? Yikes! We live in a nice area, and I still worry about my kids going places without me. Give her some slack on that one...as an overprotective parent, we just want to make sure your always safe.

Answer 5

Jim--you are 12 and that is still young---there are way too many TV and movies showing 12 year olds acting like older kids--doing and saying things that are way too forward. You know what I mean. Your mom is trying to keep in mind that at 12 you don't need the R-rated games and the M-rated stuff---you probably don't see what the big deal is--and maybe it isn't a big deal--but she is your mom and she is a parent--that makes her the one making all the decisions. You can ask but the answer is no--she is not a friend--she is a parent and you will eventually be glad she was tough. You just need to be a nice young man--polite, courteous and do the best that you can at whatever you try. Don't waste talent--be good at what you are good at. School is what is going to help you have a good solid future. Don't goof off in school. Maturity and emotions start to show at 12 and 13--she will allow more if you show responsibility and maturity and no stupid teen age stuff. If you do anything to lose her trust--you will be back to square one--so always do the right thing.Your mom has a European background--children are expected to be respectful, courteous, polite and educated--that is what your mom expects from you--so just show her you are doing the right stuff and that you can make the right choices--stay out of trouble--stay away from troublemakers--please be GOOD in school--you won't be 12 forever--show her you can earn the things you want to do. Good luck and thanks for understanding that she is a GREAT mom.

Answer 6

This is normal. I wasn't allowed to watch M rated movies until I was 15 and the law actually allowed me to, I went to bed at 7.30 every night and I didn't even have games on the computer or the internet

. I gained some independence at 16 when the laws changed and I was able to leave home and this gave me leverage, but I strongly suggest you try and see it from her point of view.

Factors to consider:

Her age
Your age (technically your not yet a teen and she could be thinking that she'll lose her little girl)
What the law requires
What she could be thinking about the different situations you've spoken of
How it could effect both yourself and your mother if she didn't do those things
Your neighbourhood
Happenings in your city/town

Hope you understand what your going through is normal. I'd rather have too much protection than not enough like my friends, becoming homeless at 13 and pregnant not long after. That's hard work.

Answer 7

My 12 year old brother goes to bed between 8 and 830ish. I understand why she doesn't want you to watch R rated movies and stuff. But the lotion part is just a little weird. I would tell her that you can do it yourself. Like as soon as you get done showering hurry up and put some on so she wouldn't have to do it. I bet that feels weird someone pouring lotion on you. But she sounds like a loving and caring mother! Thats as good as they come. Shes only doing it because she loves you verrrry veryyyyyy much! Im sure you'll find a way to tell her about the lotion thing though lol. Good luck!

Answer 8

Hmm...I agree with not letting you watch R rated movies and M rated games, that's just normal. In time you'll see them, they're not that flash anyway, trust me.
Going to bed at 8:30 is okay -- although sometimes say once a fortnight I would've made an exception, but hey, that could just be her.
What worries me is her not lettign you go more than four blocks without her, and the fact that she checks up on you in the shower like that.
I had an overprotective mother that didn't let me close the door to my room, or have friends over...If she's anything like that, you're in for a tough ride, that's all I can say.
If you want to ask me anything more -- because I'd love to help anyone with an overprotective mother, I remember what hell it was for me -- I'd say feel free to email -- but I have no clue how to do these things on yahoo yet...

Answer 9

I have a 13 year old stepdaughter, so...

The lotion parts seems a little odd, but otherwise, I don't have a major problem with that.

My wife and and I send the 13 year old to bed at 9:30. She doesn't play M rated games, and she's just now starting to watch R-rated movies that we screen first. We let her walk to the corner store, and occasionally to school, which is a 1/2 mile away.

You are close to getting to a point where your mom should loosen the reins a little, but for now, I think what she's doing is okay.

Answer 10

It is totally inappropriate for your Mom to be rubbing lotion over you at your age. You are nearly a teenager and are entittled to your privacy. I live in the UK so our film ratings are different but are they suitable for your age group or not ? If not then youir Mom is right to protect you from unsuitable material. As far as access to outside is concerned the questions you need to look at are; How safe is the neighbour hood? Where are you planning to go? Who will you be with? Do you have some way of contacting your Mom in an emergency (like a mobile phone?) What are you going to be doing when you are out. Your Mom needs to know that you are going to be safe ut she may let you go and chill out with friends for a while. you need to let her know where you are and what time you will be back. Make sure you're always on time so she doesn't get worried. Negotiate with y our Mom. You need some independence but to stay safe too. Good Luck.

Answer 11

Apart from monitoring what you watch and play, and when you go to bed, she does sound a bit over the top. Especially with the "moisturising after the shower" bit.

Is there a "danger when exceeding the locality of these premises by more than 4 blocks" sign outside your home?

She's normal in some ways, but overprotective and I would even go as far as to say "overzealous" in others.

But hey! You're going to have the softest skin in town!

PS: By reading the other responses, I've just realised how lucky I am to live in Australia and not live in fear. Ignore my 4-block sign comment.