What other psychological effects could this person have?

Question

A friend has recently revealed to me that she once strangled her father then ran away from home. This was after she had told me that her father is an alcoholic and used to hurt her when he was drunk (both physically and emotionally). This is the main reason she took up martial arts to defend herself from her father. She is a Lesbian and just recently ended a 5 yr relationship with someone who is clinically depressed. It's really sad that she had to go thru this. I want to help her but now she claims she's fallen in love with me and I don't know what to do. I like her but just not in the way she likes me.

Answer 1

Love is an interesting thing that you need to understand are else your not going to be much help to yourself or her. Now first off love is simply an emotion thats job is to EXCITE feelings, now feelings is were this gets interesting because the feelings are dependent on the individual in question, the point thou is that love excites feelings. You need to know what she is feeling because of you to understand why she "loves" you. Its because love needs a purpose, which is why she loves you, could be because you care so much, could be because she wants you for the long haul she "hopes" you'll be there for. The point being that you also love her, unless you feel no feelings for her, which would mean you wouldn't of been motivated to wright this. That aside you need to call her on it, but tell her you understand that she loves you because you bring so much more to her life, but that you have no purpose outside being a good friend to her, doesn't mean you can't have sex, or spend time, or be a lover, just means you don't want to comment, you don't "like" her like that. But you are a friend, so realize she's never had someone like you and doesn't know how to feel with you, this is a natural reaction to that, to "love" you. SO be glad you influence her that much, but your dealing with a person who is reaching for whatever she can because her father didn't raise her, which means she wants/needs direction from you, if you can't be that person, she'll find someone else, she is in survival mode because good old dad only taught her that. So you've got a lost, confused little girl there who needs some purpose and direction, unfornutly right now being in love with you holds the most hope for her, gives you power, use it responsiblly, help her.....