the first bit of my poem.what happend when you read it?

Question

what did you think when you reda it? remember i have the rest of my poem just not writing it.

heart ice

frozen and dry,
tears run down my face,

the well where my tears were kept,
has long since been swept,

no more emotion,
to plug up my heart,

because it has stopped beating,
right from the start,

get the heat lamp,
and panic as you please,



well thats all im writing but please rate my poem! im making a book and i need to know if people would buy them.

Answer 1

a dark person wants to wake up and be normal


its good.

I would definitely read it at the bookstore.

Answer 2

You really lost me at "get the heat lamp" On the one hand, that makes me wonder what the next line is, but on the other it reminds me of a handful (actually a notebook full) of poems I wrote in high school, which started off kind of nice and then went in crazy directions, like I knew what I wanted to say but didn't have a good sense of how to express it.

Otherwise, it's okay. This doesn't make me want to buy the book though. Sorry. Honesty is my big fault.

Answer 3

....there is a sense of panic, gradually working up, from the suspense of feeble ability to foresee what comes next! emotionally charged, intense writing! good expression, good poem! people who love poetry will certainly read you!

Answer 4

I certainly hope the rest is better than that, otherwise the book will be kindling for the fireplace.

Answer 5

I truly REALLY enjoyed this i thought it was fantastic so far, cant wait for the rest(if your going to post it?)

Answer 6

I wouldn't even tear it out of the book and use the page for toilet paper.

Answer 7

It is REALLY GOOD!