Money Problem with roommate... taking me for granted?OK. I am a nurse and my roommate is a my gf's f's bf...

Question

who is a secretary, and seems like he is taking great advantage of me coz I make lit more money than him...
Even before we decided to rent this place , he told me that he doesn't make a lot of money and somehow talked me into paying 55% of the rent. saying that I will get the larger master bedroom (Double master suite, both about same size). So I agreed based on sympathy.
Now, he consistently mentions that I since I make more money than him thus I should also pay a larger portion of electricity bill... and he always keeps the fan in his bathroom on and keeps the air conditioning so cold even when I was very sick.
What can I do in order to start equally split the rent again, and stop him from using my higher income as an excuse to pay more of our bills?
Every time we tried to talk, he would be like "good that we're talking", then he would start mentioning about my income and how difficult it is for him to pay bills (and he just got engaged and bought a new Tundra)... dunno wud to do

Answer 1

He's taking advantage of you. I posed my own question about an ex-roommate trying to take advantage of me this week on YA. So I know all too well about a mooching roommate trying to play upon your sympathies.

Your roommate chose to room with you. When you room together, the rent and utilities should be split evenly. You taking possession of the master bedroom gives him no right to decide you'll pay a certain percentage more than him just because you have more bedroom square feet to live in. Most people flip a coin or use some other type of device or method to decide who'll get what type of bedroom. He should have roomed with someone that was on his same economic and financial level if it's such an issue with him.

Life isn't always easy. Do you think he can get away with telling his creditors that he can't and shouldn't be burden with paying his debt because he doesn't make as much as a doctor, lawyer, finance manager at a Fortune 500 company, etc.? If he can't afford to pay his share, he shouldn't use as much credit, move into a house or an apartment he can't comfortably afford, or constantly overuse utilities he can't pay. Many people rough it for a few years or if they just don't make that much money, they rough it for the remainder of their lives. I bet if you told him that you will no longer pay a higher portion of the electricity bill, he wouldn't be running the bathroom fan all the time or keep the a/c at such a low setting.

He has some hard life lessons to learn. If he wants to remain that way, that's his deal, but you put a stop to the gravy train tonight. You sit him down and you tell him that the disproportionate splitting of the rent and the utilities ceases this month. Be firm and steadfast in your decision. Either your roommate will change his ways or he'll soon find another person he can scam into paying more of the bills than they should. Your roommate is an inconsiderate person. He makes sure all his comforts and needs are met, but yours is not even a blip on his radar.

Let me tell you about a situation that happened to me with an ex-roommate. I'm a quiet person, sometimes you can't tell I'm in the apartment with you. I took a few vacation days off in the winter, and I discovered my ex-roommate would turn the temp up to 80 degrees or sometimes as far as the dial could go while she prepared herself for work. I'm usually out the door by 7am, but she doesn't leave the apartment until 9am. Well one winter day I turned the heat on to take my shower. I wake up around 6am but this time I woke up 20 minutes earlier than usual because it was so cold. It was a few degrees below zero. The minute I walked into my bathroom after turning the heat on to take my shower, I noticed the heat was turned off. I knocked on my roommate's door and asked what was up with her turning the heat off? She said "I'm buring up hot." The heat wasn't even on for two minutes but she was hot? It takes time for a place to warm up, especially after the heat has been off for several hours. I didn't have time to argue so I just took a shower in the cold, but that was straw that broke the camel's back. I could have caught a severe cold or pneumonia. Prior to this event, she had complained about the heat. So me trying to be considerate of her, I wouldn't turn the heat up past 75 degrees and would turn the heat off as soon as I got out of the shower. So we're talking 10 to 15 minutes top. And for her to turn the heat on past 80 degrees for the entire time she prepped herself in the morning or the time she would go out at night was a slap in the face to me. It completely baffled and perplexed me. I couldn't find a logicial explanation for her behavior. I could see if she was a cold natured person, but she wasn't. I've learned my lesson, I hope you'll learn yours. Good luck.

Answer 2

WOW. Let's get one thing straight... YOUR income is NONE of his business. I can sympathize with your situation as I've been in the same predicament before, and what I've learned is this.... You worked hard to get where you are at and it is not his right to try and have you support him while he goes and does what he wants to. A roommate is just that... someone you share a living space with as well as the bills. If you pay 55% of the rent for the "bigger room" then that is acceptable; however, ALL utility bills should be evenly split 50/50. If he cannot afford living alone, getting engaged, and buying a brand new truck, then he should move back home or find someone else who is willing to wipe his @$$. You did not sign up to be someone's dad, so why are you wasting your hard earned money?

Answer 3

I think you are answering your own question. You know what to do!
(pull the plug nurse!)

First off, you are stuck with paying 55% if you agreed to it.

Second you have NO AGREEMENT for anything else so that is 50/50.

Third, (remain civil - to save yourself more problems) and tell him that you "enjoy" being able to have a roomate to help offset the cost of renting. However despite the fact that you may on paper make more $ than him, unfortunately that does not mean you are paying for anything more than what you already agreed on prior to moving in.
(you may also have more expenses -say paying student loans - etc.)

Fourth, I would then suggest that in order to maintain your roommate relationship you would like to set up some agreed upon rules for A/C, housework, guests, etc.

Fifth, if he refuses to do so, or tries to "sweet" talk his way out of any of that.
GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE AS FAST AS YOU CAN AND GET YOUR OWN PLACE. Do not wait for him to change, and do not stay - or this will grow into an even worse situation. (and worse yet could leave you paying for everything and potentially screw up your credit etc.)

You may have to "pay a penalty", or "eat" some rent, or find another renter to replace you - depending on the lease you signed. But any of that will end up costing you less in the long run, and you will end of with piece of mind and the right to come home to a place (with or without) a roomie that you can actually relax in and enjoy b/c you know you are being treating fairly.

Before you get another roomie -write up a CONTRACT addressing any issues such as these.

Goodluck,
Dr. Mike

ps- nurses are always sympathetic! be more like the docs! lol

Answer 4

You're the reason he can afford the new Tundra. Just tell him income has nothing to do with sharing expenses and that from here on out it will be 50/50 or you will find a new roommate. If he says anything about you making more money tell him to get a new job, it's not your problem. Stop feeling sorry for this freeloader and stand up for your rights.

Answer 5

What you need to do is stop letting this person guilt trip you into taking on their responsibilities! Your income is really irrelevant in the sense that this does not excuse this person from paying their fair share of the bills. This was something that the two of you agreed upon PRIOR to moving in. I don't care of you're Rockefeller, it's still wrong for this person to feel justified in doing this to you. I would sit this person down and say "This is apparently not working out. Either you need to pull your own weight and be more considerate of me, or we need to end this." Then don't BACK DOWN! You don't have to be mean or aggressive, but you can be firm. And just keep saying to yourself if you need to " I'm not budging on this!" If you and this person are in a lease, I would see if you could talk to the Landlord and find out what it would take to get out of the lease. If you feel comfortable enough, you may want to explain why you want to get out of the lease too.
More then likely, even if you do sit your roommate down and give him/her one last warning, they are not likely to change. This will keep coming up again and again, which will just make you more miserable. It's not fair for you to feel like this in your own home. It's not fair to you to pay more of the bills just because you have a good job and more education. Do not let yourself cont. to be taken advantage of.

Answer 6

what you make is none of his business. if that's his excuse to sucker you into paying more, than you can excuse yourself and say to him, since he has more time at home, he shouldn't have a problem tidying up the place and doing your laundry to make up the difference you pay in rent and bills. if he can afford a rock on his girl's finger and a new car you are a bonafide sucker and he's taken advantage of you for far too long. put your foot down and split everything down the middle immediately or find yourself a new roommate.

Answer 7

Are you running a democracy or a socialist state? If he wants to make more money, he can go get a job that pays more and he can start spending less. It's good that he has a new Tundra to sleep in when the lease expires.

Answer 8

tell him like it is...there really is no nice way to say it...if you don't he'll continue to act like nothing is wrong. you originally agreed to pay 50 percent, tell him that as much as you like paying for it, it would be best that he pay for his fair share esp since it seems that he's using more electricity than you are. or tell him you pay55 percent but he pays for 55 percent of the electricity bill. don't be afraid to speak up or he'll take it like he can get away with paying less while you pay 10 more percent than you should

Answer 9

Tell him to fork over half the rent and what ever else that he seems to be sharing living there or get out.....you seem to be a smart kid to know when you are being taken for granted....your problem is that you are a push over and your friend knows it........get some back bone kid.

Answer 10

Tell him if he can afford the new Tundra, he can afford to pay his share of the rent and expenses.