My husband and I had a good dating relationship. Then one morning at 4:30am he got a text. He said it was a girl he use to talk to. He called her in front of me and said he was seeing me and couldn't talk to her anymore. I was thought that was cool. Then I found strange numbers showing up on our cell bill. It was her number. I confronted him about it. He said that they were just friends. We had a big fight about trust and lying. He said that he would never talk to her again. Then, you know that 6th sense ladies, I told him that I couldn't marry him without the trust. He said that he wasn't talking to her anymore. I found out a couple months ago that he continued to talk to her 2 months after we were married. We had a huge fight. Then he called her and slipped up and said that his wife sure was mad at him. She didn't even know that we had gotten married. Now just yesterday, 9/19/07, I was using his work cell and couldn't resist looking and saw a *67 number. It turned out to belong to
2007-09-20 17:22:38 · 9 answers · asked by Presto! 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
someone with the same last name as her. He said that it wasn't him who made that call. He said that it could have been his boss. He was riding with him that day. Now I have talked to this lady and she said that they have only met in person once, right after me and him began dating. She said there was nothing romantic. Now I found out that there is a home number and I can't find out what it is. I don't trust him. I checked his work phone for the first time and wasn't happy when I called that number and found out that it was to someone with the same last name. We got rid of our cells. I can't tell when he is lying or telling the truth as we went almost a whole year with him lying to me. What would you ladies do and do you have any suggestions on how to tell if he is lying still or not?
2007-09-20 17:26:43 · update #1
I really don't have an answer for you, other than to say that I am sorry your husband is treating you so badly and acting like an A**hole right now. I don't blame you for being pissed off at him- and right now, I have to admit that he may very well BE lying to you again. I am not a marriage counselor, but have you two considered getting some help with this situation? Infidelity destroys relationships, and it can ruin lives- I know that from bitter personal experience. I watched my own parents go through this type of thing- and it happened again with my mother and stepdad a dozen or so years after the first divorce. They divorced as well, and then he got sick with the illness that would rob him of his health and looks, and then eventually claim his life. I sometimes wonder how much of his sickness was just simply due to the pain and stress of so many failed relationships- my mother was his second wife, and he had multiple affairs while he was married to her. She was devastated when he decided he wanted out- and by that time, he was already involved with someone else that my mom couldn't stand.
If you can, try NOT to let the same thing happen to you. What my mother went through hurt her badly- and I fear that you may be headed for the same fate if you can't get this resolved in some way. Therapy or counseling might be an option for both of you if he will agree to it ( that's the problem, a lot of men won't, because they don't want to admit there's an issue) and even if he won't cooperate, you should go yourself. It will give you a place to vent, and you may be able to gain some insight on how to handle this, if you get nothing else from it. I am sorry I can't be of more help on this one. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
2007-09-21 04:34:00 · answer #1 · answered by Starlight 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is cheating on you just by talking to this other woman. The only reason he has to lie about it, is because it is wrong and he knows it. Follow your gut feelings they are almost always right. I'd be checking his email, IM's and chat room activity too. Get yourself a key logger or web watcher so you can see everything he is doing on line. You have the right as his wife to find out everything he is doing and saying to other women.
Does his boss ever make other calls on his phone? I bet his boss has his own phone and wouldn't ever need to use your husband's phone. That was a cover thy bu*t lie for sure. Unless this other gal has a really common last name, I would say it is the same one and I would be really livid too.
I wouldn't put up with that at all. I would give him a choice, her or me. If he chose me, then if I ever saw her number or any other evidence he is still talking to her, I would kick him to the curb. Cause if he keeps talking to her, he will end up committing adultery if he hasn't already done the nasty deed and may bring home deadly diseases. If he has been talking to her for a year, they have most likely already met up with each other.
2007-09-21 00:44:57 · answer #2 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Crap!
Maybe you should take that "married to a wonderful husband" off your bio.
All I can say is to sit down with him, look him in the eyes and tell him that you have lost all trust in him. The next move is his...does he want to stay or move on? You will not tolerate this teen age behavior." Meanwhile make sure those birth control pills are being taken properly.
2007-09-21 00:35:40 · answer #3 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's lying to you. Just doesn't sound trustworthy and the way you're spying on him and doubting him all the time will only make you ill. That's not a healthy relationship at all.
2007-09-21 00:33:37 · answer #4 · answered by MiaMonique 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wowww my eyes hurt...well anyways...i was in ur sammme exact position...and well we didnt get to the married part i just couldnt live with the fact that i might make a huge mistake so we are just friends and i ended up marrying a wonderful man, but imma tell you...that was the best decision i made in my life.
2007-09-21 00:35:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!! He is soooo devious!!! I personally would be so upset. I believe in the sanctity of marriage, therfore I would work out the problem. He needs to come clean.
2007-09-21 00:33:26 · answer #6 · answered by metalwife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you didn't trust him when you married him, I never would have married a man I didn't trust. But you did...You're stuck now.
2007-09-21 01:27:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had to double check your profile cause that sounded like the same story of a friend of mine and he was f*cking her. so i think you know the answer to your own question you just don't want to admit it.
2007-09-21 00:35:01 · answer #8 · answered by stt143 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you belive your husband means dont confuse its friendship only dont spoil your life with fight of them , ok
2007-09-21 00:35:02 · answer #9 · answered by karai 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋