I am a stay at home mom to two little girls. My fiance is self employed, and his job involves a LOT of after-hours work and preparation. I have to do my job all day, then when he comes home I have to do MY job and his. There's no extra money coming in so we can't afford daycare for the kids, so that I can get a job. There's just enough $ to pay the bills, nothing extra like going out, and I'm starting to feel like I'm in a cage or something. Everytime I try to tell him how I feel he basically says it's his way or the highway, and we end up in a screaming match and nothing gets resolved. I get so PO'd at him sometimes that I just want to knock some sense into him. What an overbearing, arrogant as.s!
2007-09-20 17:16:15 · 9 answers · asked by Ms. GTO 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A marriage is suppose to be a partnership, not a husband saying that it's his way or the highway. My husband would never tell me something like that cuz he know's I'd leave.
2007-09-20 19:11:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you get a job working full-time, wouldn't that pay for childcare and some extras? You said that there is no extra money for daycare...???? Typically you get daycare when you are working and pay for it that way.
It sounds like you want to stay at home, but want the $$ that comes with 2 incomes. The "overbearing, arrogant A$$" is working so that you can stay home. I think that he is getting frustrated because he is working his butt off and then hearing you complain about money.
I am a mom, so I do the same "job" you do all day after I'm done with my full-time job outside of the home. I have the same work and get the same things accomplished as the stay-at-home moms in a lot less time than you get to enjoy the luxury of having. It is the only way we will have the things we want.
Maybe you need to get a real job. I'm sure the thumbs down is coming since I don't agree with you.
2007-09-21 00:43:28 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ouch. his way or the highway huh? last i checked, marriage was a two way relationship. does he know that when he gets married that he will being saying some vows too? or is he scraping those all together?
what about babysitting for some extra cash? any extra education you can get for some stay at home work? like medical billing or even to be a paralegal?
what about volunteering at a church that has free daycare? this might give you something to release some of your tension. babysitting swapping. i'd give my right arm to find someone i could swap babysitting with just to have some free time to even take a nap once in awhile. or even do a 3 hour sweep of housecleaning!! there are 7 days in a week. do babysitting swapping for 3 days for you, 3 days for the other mother, this way, babysitting is at no cost, get a part-time job and the money you make is the money you get ot pocket and keep.
2007-09-21 00:31:29 · answer #3 · answered by Isabella S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much money would you be making if you got a job? What kind of job and when would you work? You could hold a bill for a month if you got a job to pay for a couple of weeks daycare. Or you could hire a high school student for a couple of weeks to come into your home and babysit while you work. The student could put the girls to bed and go home and your husband would be there in the house in case of emergency. This could put a couple of weeks pay in your pocket. BUT you will have to include the babysitter in you bill budget to see if would even be worth working. There are ways to take care of the kids for a couple of weeks until your first paycheck comes in.
2007-09-21 00:34:28 · answer #4 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I stayed home for my kids and i have no regrets Its was the most rewarding job I done in my life Plus my kids are very well balance and full of love I think your real issue is with your husband You have no communication Its a emergency to see a marriage councler for both of you You husband is not more happier than you are Financialy if you love kids why you dont baby sit 2 other kids at home or if you have a spare room rent a room it will help with the bills
2007-09-21 00:46:00 · answer #5 · answered by lala 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off let's get you to talk to someone about how you feel that is not your husband since he obviously doesn't want to hear it. That will help a little. Since your husband is that way is set in his ways, you will feel trapped in a cage. If possible try getting away even if it is just for a trip to the mall or just to go out somewhere that is not your house. Most importantly, you need to have alone time for yourself without the kids and husband.
2007-09-21 00:32:14 · answer #6 · answered by vigilante 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
One day you are going to say "enough is enough" and knock some sense into him or yourself.
You need to bear in mind he is self-employed and that can bring about a lot of stress and tiredness just trying to make the business succeed.
2007-09-21 00:24:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
figure out a way where you and him can share in the chores and come up with new jobs that pay more. if he disagrees, you should save your money and plan your exit. you'll never be happy in this relationship, and suffer depression, and more if you don't leave this a&$hole and take care of what's important. You, your sanity and your children ( IN THAT ORDER). Because if your not metally and emotional well and your no help to your children either. Good Luck.
2007-09-21 00:25:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like u need a vacation maybe doing the camping thing doesnt cost alot or maybe visiting relatives with or without him .
2007-09-21 00:26:54 · answer #9 · answered by Ray 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋