I got engaged about months ago but now I find out that my fiance was in love with some one , according to the person who told me about this it was her first love! I wanted to be straight forward to ma fiance and asked her but still she insists she never been in love with some one else. I feel kinda upset why she is not telling me the truth,either da person who told me about her is wrong or may be my fiance is not telling me the truth whether If she is or was in love wit that person. she says she loves me but i feel like i dont believer her. Wen im askin her again and again some times she cries and it makes me feel even worse, I remember wen she listened to love songs, she goes quiet... and then i assume she is thinkin of her x lover.. it sucks.. do u people think she is lying to me? what should i do? I just cant bear it! becoz i know she wont forget him as he was assumbly her first love! i hate my self... even i tried to sucide to get ride of dis troubled world!
2007-09-20 15:19:51 · 9 answers · asked by Gabrail 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dude,
Take a chill pill! First of all suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It's ridiculous! Seriously get help, and if you ever feel like killing yourself again, think of someone you really can't stand and think of how much it will piss them off that you're still around!
You need to understand something. We sure as heck forget our so-called first loves. It's funny, you can think you're so in love with some person and three years later, you won't be able to remember their last name.
I used to think that I was in love until I met my fiance, and I realized that I had never truly loved a man. All of that other stuff was just emotion drama. My fiance and I share a bond with each other that I never thought possible. I truly believe that he is my soul mate. Now don't get me wrong, we've had our problems, but our love for each other is unconditional.
Okay, she goes silent when she hears a love song. Have you considered that she might just like the song? I go silent whenever I hear the song, "You are the sunshine of my life" because my daddy used to sing it to me when I was little. Give her a break.
You all watch too much TV. All of this BS about never forgetting your first love???? Yeah right. The first time you think you're in love, you probably don't really know what love is.
Stop harassing her and making her cry. She probably has a deep seated love for you and it breaks her heart that you aren't fully accepting the love that she has to give to you because you have some paranoid fantasy that she's in love with someone else. Isn't she engaged to you? Doesn't that tell you something? Watch it, or you're going to lose her. She'll find someone else who is willing to accept her love.
Now as far as the suicide thing goes, please get help. You probably aren't ready to get married if you are using your failed suicidal experience to convince us of your love for her.
2007-09-20 15:38:25 · answer #1 · answered by Kitten S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you so insecure? You have a problem and it's not that she may or may not have loved in the past, it's your ability to accept the fact that she loves you now. What is the difference whether or not she loved (past tense) someone before. Almost everyone has had someone in their past that they loved or was very attracted to. The point is when we find that special person we want to marry that we put those relationships behind us and move on. Obviously you can't or won't and that jealousy if not controlled and checked right now will eventually kill this relationship. You have to decide what and who you want and then move forward from there without worrying about what has or did happen. She loves you now and wants to marry you isn't that enough for you?
2007-09-20 15:31:45 · answer #2 · answered by Cliff R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Focus on the present. Who cares if she loved someone else..she loves you now. Who is the person that's giving you the information about past loves? How do thye know for sure? That person may be lying...it happens all the time. She could be quietly listening to the songs thinking about you...or what to wear tomorrow! Don't overthink it.
And if you have considered suicide, you have other issues and should seek help. You fiance's commitment to you should not make you live or die.
2007-09-20 15:40:34 · answer #3 · answered by c_c_ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/CjR6l
2015-01-28 07:41:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask yourself who has a reason to lie to you: your woman or whoever told you this. If the person who told you the stuff has no reason to lie, you need to wonder why they would.
If she cries... maybe she DOES love only you and it hurts her that you don't believe her. And dude, on the real... even if you weren't her first love, I know it's killing you but she loves you NOW. If she's your fiancee, she agreed to marry you. That means she does love you.
Remember this: EVERY relationship we are in is supposed to fail until we find the One we are supposed to be with. She's not with him anymore, whoever he is, so that means she isn't meant to be. Don't cause a lot of tension in your relationship because of something someone else told you.
2007-09-20 15:28:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This ebook http://www.downloadita.it/r/rd.asp?gid=417 together with a some sessions with a couple therapist helped me to save my marriage. Check it out.
Good Bye
2014-08-10 16:39:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey you have to learn to let go of the things that is not important in this life we have one life to live and if you stay in one spot worrying if you girl is in love with you you are wasting time if she didn't love you she would not be with you out of pity i think this guy is jealous of you all and wish he was in your shoes he wants to break you up putting bad thoughts in your head ask your girl straight up and tell her who said that and then don't ask again you will drive her away from you
2007-09-20 15:42:27 · answer #7 · answered by islandgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you believe that she is lying? Why would you believe someone else before her? Nobody but her knows if she was in love before. I hope that she does not marry you.
2007-09-20 17:51:13 · answer #8 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does not love him; it was just infatuation - you know how first loves are. She is with you, not him. Why are you hurting yourself by 'second-guessing' her thoughts and feelings. Enjoy what you have with this woman and quit listening to others.
2007-09-20 15:38:24 · answer #9 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aw I feel sorry for you...I hope everything works out and I will be prayin for you both..
2007-09-20 15:25:43 · answer #10 · answered by I give you the Glory Father ! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋