A so-called female friend of mine was telling me that she was engaged to be married and I said my congrats to her and she went on to say, "oh I'm the one getting married and you're still single..." I felt that was a very snarky, condescending comment which gave me the impression that she was better than me because she's in a relationship and I'm not. I looked at her with an appalled look on my face, and she said that she didn't mean it like that. Well how else was she supposed to mean it? In the future, if someone I know said something similar, how could I respond back? What snarky responses could I use? I would really like to shut people like that up with some zingers.
2007-09-20 15:18:43 · 26 answers · asked by mriley1996 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Hi mriley,
I've found that whenever people are rude and try to make you feel bad about yourself, you have to look at their character (or lack of it). If they were really happy, and really confident about themselves, they wouldn't feel the need to put someone else down. It's usually their own petty insecurities that they are projecting onto you.
Of course when it happens, you don't feel that way, you have to walk away and think it over. As for comebacks, if you want to put her in her place you could say, "Wow, I'm really uncomfortable with that comment, it was so unnecessary." Then say nothing at all. The silence that will surely be after that is on her, and she'll have to explain herself or whatever else.
When it comes to women being "catty" it's hard to get down and dirty with them. In the end, they are the ones who are pathetic for doing it, and sometimes the strongest thing you can do is just get up and walk away. Often, SILENCE, is the strongest answer of all.
However, I do understand why you would want to put her in her place. So, I might have said, "It's good you're getting married, cuz it looks like you're on your way to eliminating your friends."
Good luck.
2007-09-20 15:29:42 · answer #1 · answered by Roberta F 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Oh, well, I guess the right blind man finally came along, eh?"
I used to be THE snarkiest, smart arsed-est, sarcasticest human being in the universe. And I got to admit, it was fun to see just how peeved I could get people. But I finally realized that it was a complete waste of energy and made life unnecessarily more difficult. So I just say the snarky comments to myself, enjoy them by myself and move on. What you need to realize is that the "you're still single" comment only has power if you let it.
One thing to help you take the power away from a snarky comment like that is to realize that it doesn't reflect poorly upon your character, it reflects poorly upon the utterer's character. The only way it can truly bring you down is to "fire back" a snarky comment of your own like "BOY, what a man would do just to keep from being deported, does he speak ANY ENGLISH?" Or, "THAT'S not funny, the state should NOT let the mentally handicapped marry", and then when she says "HE'S NOT MENTALLY HANDICAPPED", you say "Oh of course not..." make sure you pause for a nice dramatic seconds "...I'm talking about you being mentally handicapped."
OH WAIT, I got another one! Out of the blue say "I hope the surgery turns out ok for you." It'll drive her nuts until she asks "What surgery?" Then you say "The one to remove the giant tarantula that crawled up your butt."
Sheesh, I have million of these. "Just remember, when the preacher says 'You may now kiss the bride' try not to think of me." And when she asks "why would i think of you?" you respond, "well, I dated your man a few years back, every time you kiss him you can probably taste my ****."
2007-09-20 15:47:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her, that unlike her, you don't grag the first guy who comes along. You might tell her that with that kind of attitude she'll probably be divorced within a year, and on the market again. It's always best to start out with a soft answer, "I'm really not ready for marrage, yet!", or some thing about a career, You can discount any thought that she is a "friend", if invited to be in the wedding party, tell her you'll be too busy!
2007-09-20 15:28:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not have taken this as snarky. I would have taken it as she was stating that she thought that you would be the one getting married first. My brutal honest opinion is this: I think you are a little jealous and are taking her words out of context. You may or may not even realize you are doing it.
Getting back at people is not the way to go. Really you should be happy for your friend. You will find your Mr. Right one day too. BUT, If you feel the need to get snarky back with someone. Kill it with kindness. Sarcastic kindness hits deep in the soul and heart of people.
2007-09-20 15:29:55 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda シ 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well You either have it or you don't. You have to be swift. you can't say um...well or stutter. go out and say it. I would sayunless the guy is yur friend) Well I wait till the right one.Atleast I am not getting into a marrige that will only last as long a second. There is more but that all I can think of now,,,Good luck!
2007-09-20 15:26:13 · answer #5 · answered by sarah 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since the first thing you think when someone says somthing like that is how do i hate back no wonder your single. Where is that chip from, you should try and knock it off. She may just be letting you know you should be looking to get married soon too.
2007-09-20 15:26:17 · answer #6 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, don't you hate it when people think they're all that? Maybe you should write an email to her saying that you're hurt because of the comment she said. Is she often like that, saying sarcastic comments that feel like she's attacking you? I am often appalled at what other people say, when they say things that sounds like it's attacking me, therefore, I can't find the write words or comments to say at that particular moment. It's annoying too.
I guess maybe next time people say things that sounds offensive, ask them "I know you mean well. But why does it sound like you're attacking me?" Hope this well.
2007-09-20 15:24:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well first of all its good that you feel happy for your friend, a comeback you could use could be 'well its better to be single, that way you can experiement' or you could do the whole sarcastic comeback saying 'thanks alot, that was SOOOO nice of you to say' that will make her feel really bad which is what people like that deserve.
hope that's not too harsh
2007-09-20 15:25:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was probably a poor attempt at a joke. I see no other reason why a normal person would say something like that. Let it go.
P.S.- She might be a little jealous of your being single. Perhaps that was what was behind it.
2007-09-20 15:23:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
say yeah, you will be stuck with one man for the rest of your life and have to ask permission to go out. me on the other hand dont have to settle for anybody and can go and come as i like with no one to answer to. i dont have to wash someone dishes ,clothes or cook supper unless i want to. i also dont have to have sex on demand ,only when i choose. then say good luck and enjoy and snicker afterwards.
2007-09-20 15:39:29 · answer #10 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋