Why does a man pleasure himself with the internet daily instead of coming to bed with the woman who loves him? He also acts like I am always a bother, no matter what I do. Honest answers only please!!
2007-09-20 12:31:06 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
From my experiences there are a couple of things that I think would cause this. If the couple has been bickering or not getting along well, its tough for a man (my perspective) to be sexually active. For me if i am not happy and at peace with that person, im not interested. This could be as simple as money problems, inlaws, etc. For my second theory, some guys can have sexual desires that they are afraid to express, or have expressed and the couple agreed not to pursue them. Sex can become stagnant, and simple things can relight that fire. Flirting, agressiveness, even role playing, there are many books, websites, etc that can give you ideas. But in the end, communication always seems to open the doors.
2007-09-20 12:41:38 · answer #1 · answered by slabside 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Internet pornography and cyber-sex can become very addictive. That's the reality. Your partner, like countless thousands of other people, will have managed to convince himself that this is not cheating, and in the traditional sense of the word it may not be. But he IS cheating both you and himself out of the emotional and physical bond that is part of a committed relationship.
You need to tell him that the relationship is on the line unless he returns to real time and the real woman in his life.
Failing an immediate response, you could try cutting the power cable from the PC and let him go "cold turkey" to get rid of his addiction.
Your last resort is to end your relationship........but if this man prefers virtual sex with imaginary partners to quality time with a loving partner, then you may have no other option.
2007-09-20 12:40:56 · answer #2 · answered by cautious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,,perhaps you should consider someplace other then the bed for your lover, the typical everyday woman does not think erotic , nor do they dress sexy, perhaps you take too much for granted and demand the same situation to arouse your husband. The boredom of marriage rituals cause a lot of unnecessary mind games. If you lose all inhibitions the change will do you both good. Perhaps even spice up your lives to the point where the computer is not used except for some good weather reports. Good luck.
2007-09-20 12:43:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that. It can't hurt to try to suggest counseling. Fortunately, I am not in this situation, but can empathize with what you are going through. I know it may be a poor comparison, but the Simpson's episode this evening was the one where the guy in the bowling alley with the French accent was making a play for Marge. Homer sensed something was amiss and he took notice of the small things Marge did, specifically, the way she made his PB&J sandwiches.
Point is, maybe he needs to realize your "appeal" by seeing a "rival" take an interest in you.
Hope things work out for you; no one wishes divorce, separation, or an emotionally distant marriage on anyone.
2007-09-20 14:26:03 · answer #4 · answered by 2007_Shelby_GT500 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you and he are in need of counseling, or at the very least better communication. We don't have your answers, you and he do. With that being said, there are two possibilities, sexual addiction, or relationship problems. Only you and he can figure out which, and figure out if the relationship is worth saving. Please go to counseling with or without him. It may take setting some limits if you and he both want to save the relationship. If you do not find the Internet activity acceptable, you can let him know that is a potential threat to the relationship. Confront him, not trying to change him, but just letting him know how you expect to be treated and what his choices are in regards to his relationship with you. You do not need to accept 2nd best, you deserve better. Personally, I would not stay to play 2nd fiddle to the Internet.
2007-09-20 12:50:46 · answer #5 · answered by shine_radiantstar 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you talking about him surfing porn and then masturbating? You have to understand that men sometimes just think that masturbating is easier. They don't think of it as a second class c**. I have been talking with a guy I see about being able to think about the c** from masturbating as being better then second best, its a mind set thing. Most men also want to please their partner, so masturbating is all about them. I don't know your situation in regards to him not wanting you because he acts like your bothering him. That was not the experience I have had with the guy I am talking about, he would always want me, he just liked the porn and masturbating also. You probably need to try and talk to him, not when you catch him and not when your in bed, but on neutral ground. Good Luck!
2007-09-20 12:42:07 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an honest answer. I do not know why a husbad would do that, but my ex was exactly the same. I suppose cos it is easy and they dont have to think about your pleasure. In the end i couldnt cope. I felt so crap that he would rather do that than be with me. It was hard but i divorced him. We had lots of talks, but he couldnt see my point of view and I didnt want to live like than any more. I wasted my 30's with him. Think carefully before you waste your life with this w*NK*R
2007-09-20 12:38:02 · answer #7 · answered by Caroline 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to try and get to the root of the problem. Obviously it is more than just stroking to the net. What is missing? Or what is bothering him? Or maybe he wants more than your comfortable giving and then again maybe he has never asked you either. There is obviously a communication gap try to close the gap first then discuss the sex issue.
Good luck this is hard stuff.
2007-09-20 12:38:14 · answer #8 · answered by colieport 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds sexist, but here I go. I've always heard, that if you don't give it to your man, then someone else will ( in any shape or form) . Research what he is looking at and maybe include it in the bedroom. Guys are really that easy to talk to about bedroom stuff, they get offended to easily. Unfortunately it is always up to us women to find out. Just wish they would do that for us too.
2007-09-20 12:58:35 · answer #9 · answered by Ugly Betty 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK you asked for honest answers here comes one now. hes gone off you . sorry i know its not what you want to hear but you have got to accept it if hes getting off on porn instead of going to bed with you he doesn't love you or even want to be with you hes probably only still in the house because hes nowhere else to go. it happens in relationships . kick him out and move on
2007-09-20 12:42:35 · answer #10 · answered by David G 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋