I find that this works for my husband and it makes me want to gag. I hate the fact that the only way I can really get him to do anything is to throw sex into the equation. After sex he would fly to the moon and back if I asked him to. If there isn't any sex involved, I sometimes have to wrestle to get him to do anything. It's silly and I refuse to pacify him in that way. You should want to do things for me because I am your wife, as you are my husband. Does he have to d**k me down before I'll do anything for him? Absolutely not. I do it with joy ... but as of lately, I have started getting an attitude like him because I am sick of being the only one who's trying to compromise.
Are you in this situation?
2007-09-20 11:02:57 · 16 answers · asked by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've tried the sex route. It doesn't really work. You'd think it would show him rules of give and take in a relationship but it doesn't. Husbands expect sex. What I would recommend is tough love. Wait until you see something non-sexual that he wants real bad and withhold THAT.
2007-09-20 11:26:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You do know what a woman who sells sex is called don't you?
Because that is exactly what you are doing, using sex as a commodity for sale. It may not be money but labor has worth as well.
So all of this falls back on what are you asking for and on whose agenda.
If a reasonable request cannot be granted without using sex as a carrot on a stick you may have deeper structural problems in your relationship.
It is not new to have your wife say I would like you to do this and you should because of all the things I do for you.
It is also not unusual for a guy to throw out the anchor and then give in if that is the only way he can get sex.
There should be some common ground without the coercion.
2007-09-20 19:08:56 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is really sad. Do you realize your husband is somewhere saying "The only way my wife will have my sex with me is if I do some chore she asks. It makes me want to gag. It's silly and I refuse to pacify her this way."
Honestly, you need to step back and take a good hard look at this scenario. You are using sex as a weapon, and that is WRONG. One of these days your husband is going to find a girl who will have no problem screwing his brains out and he won't have to do a damn thing in return. Mark my words.
2007-09-20 19:26:26 · answer #3 · answered by meagain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, actually I never did that. That's manipulative, and I won't have any part of that. I give sex away, for the sheer pleasure of pleasing him and me. Maybe that's why, when I was married, he treated me like a princess and was eager to please me in all areas. BTW, it was my choice to not be married any longer, but it was good right up to the end.
2007-09-20 18:24:51 · answer #4 · answered by shine_radiantstar 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a man and at one time I was in a simular situation then a divorce resulted. Your relationship is in some kind of serious trouble.
2007-09-20 18:26:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here's a saying for you to think about.......................
They Can Because They Know They Can"
P.S. You teach people how you want to be treated, so if you have used sex to get things you want, then you have taught your husband to do this. Time for a new education lesson.
2007-09-20 18:19:17 · answer #6 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Men are simple creatures, show them affection, love, sex and they are like putty in your hands. Admire them and respect them too. It's so stinking simple, and in your own words, "he will fly to the moon." so what in the world are you complaining about? You hold the key, the power, why be resentful?
2007-09-20 18:18:30 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That's not good! Where's the respect for the marriage in him acting like that? But real talk, you are doing this to yourself. He's only like this because this has been your way of getting what you want from him.
2007-09-20 18:07:50 · answer #8 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Nope... My husband does more than I could ever ask him for, and he doesn't even care about sex (even if we went a year w/o sex I don't think he would notice).
2007-09-20 18:09:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Instead of bribing him with sex stop doing his laundry, stop cooking him dinner and stop doing all the other things he counts on you to do and use these things for leverage instead. When he nothing to wear and is hungry he will jump through hoops to do things for you.
2007-09-20 18:12:53 · answer #10 · answered by DavidV 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋