Are parents failing their kids???

Question

I see a lot of sex related questions on here, from kids...

Are parents UNWILLING or UNABLE, or something else, to talk frankly to their kids about the most natural thing in the world (next to breathing and eating)???

Or don't some parents care??? Or are they hoping that praying and treating their kids like babies will stop them doing anything???

Answer 1

Excellent point!!! One thing my wife and I have always done is invited and wanted our kids to lay in between us in our kingsize bed and talk openly about anything without anyone flying off the handle. As a result to this day, our 19 year old son will come in at 1:00 am, wake us up, lay in the middle and talk for hours. I would not trade that for anything.

Answer 2

Parents these days seem to think their children will raise themselves, or that they will learn about sex in a class at school or something. Parents seem to care much less in general than they did when I was growing up.

Some parents are embarrassed by the topic, maybe because they don't know how to explain it, maybe because they don't want their children knowing they do it, maybe because they are afraid they won't know the answers to the questions the kids may ask, maybe because it is more important to work long hours than talk with the kids. I don't know.

As a step-mom, I have kept my relationship with my step-daughter open.. I have told her that she can ask me anything and I will tell her the truth. She asked about oral sex and thought it sounded gross. I told her that people do practice oral sex and that if thinks it sounds gross, then she knows she's not ready for that yet.

But, in general, yes, parents are failing their children by not talking to them about such subjects and sex and drugs, by dumping them off on other people and by assuming that their child will learn it somewhere else. Guess most parents don't realize the person teaching their child about sex may also be taking their virginity at the same time.

Answer 3

I think its probably a mixture of things.Some don't care,some don't think its proper to discuss it,some just don't know how to approach the subject and others are too wrapped up in their busy schedules to make time for "the talk". It is sad and disturbing that so many have to come to the internet to ask their questions. My kids are pretty young still(just starting or not even in school yet) but I have discussed it somewhat with my 4th grader. Some might say thats too young, but with as much sexual content that is everywhere and totally surrounding us all in todays media, you have to take the responsibility and address the issue at an early age.They see it everywhere and if the parents don't talk to them about it..who knows WHO they will get to answer their questions.I'd rather it be me than some stranger who may or may not have a warped mind...

Answer 4

I think most parents these days want to have a "friends" relationship with their kids...this can be a good thing to some extent...but dangerous in other cases...There has to be a mix of friend and parent "controls", or boundaries, for lack of a better word. Teenagers need to be given a length of rope on which to learn to hang themselves on (metaphorically speaking), to have the freedom and space to grow BUT have that safety net to come to you as a parent in times of trouble, need or just to communicate. Some parents have forgotten they are the parents, and have lost that connection and ability to "reign in" their kids.
As for the sex issue - having been brought up in an ethnic home where english was the second language and such issues were taboo - best advice I ever got was to give information in little pieces...when the child asks for it (initially at an early age)...and then when occassion arises (ie pre puberty - 9 - 10 years of age) sit them down and openly talk about this. Don't "over indulge" with too much information in the beginning - simply answer the question and leave it at that. Bombarding them with graphic pictures and telling them everything from intercourse to menopause in one hit may be somewhat overwhelming - like cramming 13 years of school work into 6 months!
And for the love of Mike, use the correct names for "those"
body parts - I mean you don't call a finger anything different, so call a penis a penis, and the vagina the vagina.....start giving funny names and the kids will think there's something "dirty" about it...
Also parents need to wean themselves off teachers - remember these angels are here to educate your child during the time you entrust them with their care - they are not surrogate parents provided by the social system to raise your child.
Too often I have seen teachers being treated as prison guards, social workers, doctors/ nurses, ...and sex education is only a topic covered in school as an adjunct to what they already know from home..Give these poor people the break and respect they truly deserve (and no I am not a teacher, though my daughter is studying to be one) - remember they have families of their own to look after as well at the end of their working day, and have to deal with many issues at home they have dealt with all day at work.
Authorities need to give rights back to parents - rights to be able to discipline the kids if they need to without fear of social services taking them to court for child abuse - though strict controls need to be in place to protect kids from abuse too.
So who would want to be a parent with all these added problems in todays world?
Iam...and our two adult kids have turned out well rounded, loving, respecting and educated in all aspects of life, and I feel as a team my husband and I have done a pretty damn good job - we are proud of them and their achievements - and they will make a valued contribution to the world.
Finally, treat the whole sex issue as it should be treated - it is part of our humanity - something to be treasured and valued and taught with respect and honesty. Teach your kids these things and they will carry the most important "facts of life" with them and hopefully bring up their own kids with similar values......

Answer 5

Parents don't discipline their children. They don't know what their children are thinking, where they are going or what kind of personalities they have. And you think they are going to take the time to have conversations about sex, sexuality and safe sex with them?

I do know that a lot of them go to their friends, to sites like this, or like my kids friends to people like me.

Why should a 16 year old female not know what her ovaries are? Why should I have to explain to another's child that no it is not a coochy, it is a vagina?

It is sad.

Answer 6

Many parents thinks it's not time yet to talk to their kids about such things. And so they just miss the time and children get their knowledge from other sources.

Answer 7

I myself have always told my kids that they can come to me with anything. I also talk with them about sex and life....explaining to them the hazards that come along with having sex too early. It's a very difficult place to be and I do my best. I just hope it's enough. Thanks for the great question!

Answer 8

Haven't you noticed-kids are parenting themselves lately. If you think our country is messed up now, just wait!

Answer 9

Seems like it. Don't they have sex education at schools?

Answer 10

et... de koi je me mele? occupe toi de tes oignons