Is being a domineering women supposed to be attractive?

Question

Do most women believe that being bossy, confrontational, aggressive, egotistical, loud and stubborn are attractive traits?

This is the type of behavior a lot of feminists seem to encourage in women. And "real" men are expected to seek out women with these traits.

What does such a woman offer a man?

"Lioness" Way to NOT answer the question.

Answer 1

yup

Answer 2

Good point. There's a huge difference between assertive and self-confident and the traits you mentioned. I was passive-aggressive until my mid twenties, when I decided to try being aggressive and confrontational (but not bossy, egotistical, loud, or stubborn) a lot for a while. I can still be aggressive (I'm 36), but I try other methods first and am much more creative. It can be a stage of someone newly gaining the ability to deal with difficult people. Too often with today's young woman, it's more than that, in a bad way.

Answer 3

Honestly, I don't think that women want to be looked at as being "attractive" when they are being bossy, confrontational, aggressive, egotistical, loud and stubborn. I think those traits come out when they are trying to get respect. I will be all of those things at the necessary time, but not when I'm trying to charm a guy, but more like when I'm trying to chastise him.

I do believe that there are men out there that do not like aggressive women because they do not like to be challenged. Let me tell you, as a bossy, confrontational, aggressive, loud and stubborn woman (I'm not egotistical), I love a challenge and love it when a guy can put me in my place. JUST as long as there is also compassion, kindness, sympathy, and lots of making up afterwards...

Answer 4

i don't find that attractive in anyone, but as far as i've heard, it can be attractive at first, but then it just gets plain annoying...but i don't think that those type of women really care that much about attracting men, although some do try to by portraying those traits and it's quite obvious too, so it usually doesn't work...

i don't think feminists should not encourage those traits and 'real' men should not seek those types of women, i think they often make men often unhappy and quiet and passive, but that's only if the wrong type of man liked them, some men are made for women like that...

Answer 5

I think the traits you listed basically describe a *****. I think most women don't understand that you can assertive without being a *****. I'm assertive and not afraid to take control of a situation but my husband likes that about me. So I guess it just depends on the man and what he prefers. Some men prefer aggressive women while others prefer subservient. I guess the same could be said about women too.

Answer 6

I don't think anyone likes anyone who is egotistical, loud, bossy or confrontational. stubborn and aggressive are such borderline traits.

I still think it's great when someone is able to go after what they want and not sheepishly wait until they are given permission to try.

Real men aren't expected to seek out these traits, they are expected to not attempt to suppress them.

Answer 7

Often, what goes on under the surface is very different from outward appearances. I have noticed that many (NOT ALL) feminists seem to have a difficulty asserting themselves straightforwardly on a routine basis. Some seem to expect a conflict-free world, in which they shouldn't NEED to assert themselves, and on this basis, blame those who make such assertion necessary.
___I don't want to denigrate soft-spoken women as a class, but feminism offers the more ethically challenged of these women an opportunity to avoid responsibility for their outcomes. These women are less frequently bossy than vindictive self-proclaimed victims, manifesting an aggressive defensiveness than a straightforward take-charge approach. They can be very stubborn, but in a passive-aggressive way.
___Many women who are naturally assertive encounter some of the same consequences for their assertiveness that men encounter, and can be quite cautious, or polite, or considerate in public or new relationships, and their assertiveness is delivered with some circumspection.
___People talk about breaking the cycle of abuse, since most abusers have been themselves previously abused. Connecting the dots, it's easy to see that the population of victims is likely to include a lot of dangerous people, and that one should beware of victims overly concerned with defending themselves.
___There are authentic victims and innocent victims, and there are victims with enough insight to break the cycle of abuse within themselves, so that "the buck stops here" as it were. But beware of the uncircumspect vindictive victim, as you would be with a wounded bear. These are far more dangerous than bossy, confrontational women anyday.

Jenyfer J:
Your comments on the framing of aggressiveness reflect the standard feminist interpretation. A man who takes charge to excess is called "an overbearing jerk, pr**k, di*k, and an a**hole", names that women don't get called. A broader consideration might look at men's and women's different characteristic styles of asserting themselves, styles called by different names, positive and negative. Men are often too unconcerned about the collateral damage of their assertiveness, too single-minded, while women tend to be a lot more aware (for better and worse) of the social and interpersonal.effects of theirs. Men's style can be called "focussing on the objective" or "insensitive", two sides of the same thing. Women's ways can seem TOO relational at times, too purposefully aimed at gaining interpersonal power, for its own sake, at others' expense. Also, an unintended consequence of feminism's articulating every detail of male evils, while excluding discussion of the female ones as "excuses to oppress women", is that men are well versed in the dark sides of their maleness, while many women seem oblivious to their own darker sides. Do a search for "girls' bullying" and see if you recognize the techniques. Though the literature only addresses its effects on other girls (of course), they affect men as well.

Answer 8

No, I do not believe those are good traits in either men or women.
If I stated what I believe women and men should be like on Yahoo, my mailbox would be extremely full.
A 'rea' man wouldn't go for that at all. ;) A real 'lady' wouldn't be like that. But you didn't specify lady-you said women. There is a difference, I think you want to find a lady.

Answer 9

Part of the problem with your question is many of the words you used in your question to describe women are used differently when used to describe men. Such as "bossy".....when used for men they are called "in charge" or "take charge" kind of guys but women are called "bossy" as tho' it's a bad thing. Women are called "stubborn" but men are said to "stand up for what they believe in", again, the double-standard with the denigrating word used to describe women. Women are described as "confrontational", whereas men are described as "direct" or "up-front" or "straight froward".....again, the denigration of women. Women are "egotistical" but men are "single-minded" or "goal-oriented" or even "really on the fast-track". Men are described as "speaking up" or "being heard" but women are "loud" or even "loud mouths". It happens all the time and I've seen it over and over in the workplace as I've been working for 25+ years in industry.

So what I am saying is that we praise these traits in men or use descriptive words to praise men but use descriptive words to put women down who have these same traits. I dislike that.

I feel that I am a strong, straight-forward woman, very Type-A, agressive in my career and not afraid to stand up for what is right. My husband tells me that he found those very attractive traits in me when we were dating, so I suppose some men do find strong women attractive just because of those same traits that some women find attractive in men.

Answer 10

There have always been women with those personality traits and that has nothing to do with feminism. Not all women are submissive, meek, quiet, mousy, or weak. Those are not personality traits I would encourage since those people get stepped on all the time and taken advantage of.

Answer 11

I'm sorry you feel that way. There are a few flaws in your statement:

1- Feminists do not adjust their behavior according to what's attractive to men---so if something is unattractive in the eye of a man--too bad, so sad.

2- I have yet to see one true feminist who encourages being confrontational or loud--- you may be confusing this with not being a doormat, but you know there is a big difference between speaking up and not accepting to be a doormat than being confrontational and loud.