they were seperated ... marriage on the rocks for over 10 years .. he met someone and fell in love .. wanted to marry the other woman .. but then got back together with wife because she begged him to come back .. and the new woman did not want to stand in the way coz he had 2 kids .. now the wife is on his case for every little thing and is torturing both herself and him.. she knows her husband is probably still in love with the other woman ... could she be right ?
2007-09-20 08:21:42 · 20 answers · asked by lilli 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave the chump!
2007-09-20 08:27:16 · answer #1 · answered by ranch_tester 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Which she? The "other woman" or the wife?
If you are married just for the sake of the children's happiness, that's stupid. Reality check folks, being married while having kids does not solve your marital problems. Your kids will grow older and still know what's up.
Do them a favor and put them in a loving and enriching environment. If that means that the Dad is happier with the "other woman", then so be it. The wife needs to look out for her kids happiness, which is actually dependent on the parent's happiness. Basically, when parents aren't happy, kids aren't happy. For the wife to "torture" him and basically be a raging nag, that is not a good environment for the kids.
Dad needs to dig a little deeper for a set of balls. It will be hard on the family to divorce (but hey, they've been separated before so the psychological damage is already done) but in the end, it'd probably be worth it.
Good luck "other woman"
2007-09-20 08:28:35 · answer #2 · answered by kiki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HMM. Did the wife beg him to come back knowing their was another woman? That is one thing you left out which totally will make anyone who answers this question say yes of course she is right. They were seperated, for how long? If he wanted to marry the other woman so badly, he could have gotten a divorce and done so within a year. He could still seperate from his wife now. This sounds too one- sided to me. I guess she knows he is in love with someone else because he told her so?
2007-09-20 08:32:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off - a marriage on the rocks for 10 years is a good sign of trouble. Now - he went back - which says he feels something for her (or missed the hell out of his kids). Now - about him still loving the other woman - who knows - its possible. But its also possible that his wife just makes him so miserable that anything else would be better.....
2007-09-20 09:01:25 · answer #4 · answered by Rob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure she could be right, but she also needs to take a LONG look in the mirror and realize that the reason they got into the situation in the first place was probably her incessant nagging and bickering.
Just the fact that he came back does not erase the slate or eradicate his feelings or invalidate his stance in the relationship. If they want to make the relationship work they need to get in to see a counselor and work on all that is wrong in the relationship. Given time (and without her CONSTANTLY reminding him of the fact that he screwed up some how), he WILL move on from the other relationship if they BOTH want to make the relationship work.
But the first step is hers to take.
2007-09-20 08:28:14 · answer #5 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Which one are you? The wife or the other woman?
He should have stayed with the other woman, staying in a unhappy marriage for the sake of children is cowardly.
Women should never beg, it makes them sound too desperate and cheap (yeah yeah thumbs down I know).
2007-09-20 08:31:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, he couldn't have been too much in love with the other woman, otherwise he wouldn't have gone back with the wife. Men don't return to women because of children. And, men dont' return to women they don't love. If he loved the other woman, nothing on the planet would have kept him from her.
2007-09-20 09:00:53 · answer #7 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he probably is. The married couple needs to try some marriage counseling if they want to save their marriage. If they don't want to save their marriage or are in just because of the kids, it is time to give it up, divorce peaceably so they can co-parent their children and each move on to a happier life
2007-09-20 08:28:56 · answer #8 · answered by Willow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, may be. But, the important part is that he came back to her. She needs to cherish that and make every effort to make things work. Also, I give A LOT of credit to the other woman for not standing in the way.
2007-09-20 08:26:57 · answer #9 · answered by supergirl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, she needs to let go, or they won't stand a chance.
He came back didn't he?
So, he just needs to put things right in his head in his own time.
It would cerainly help if she could work on herself too.
it's the type of things which is bound to take time to repair itself. People have to fix what was wrong, by trying to communicate more, without suffocating each other, and also try to compromise too.
Good luck.
2007-09-20 08:37:41 · answer #10 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really don't underst and the third party talk so I thnk that you should just figure it out by talking to the guy and see where his heart is.
2007-09-20 08:40:02 · answer #11 · answered by Jamonican 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋