we been together long time. he so sweet, such a helpful, everything he is nice man but one problems every time we get fight he get so mad and lost temp and would out control on me & he said he sorry for that and his lost temp, he said he felt like it's not him. and you know i dont like for him been drinking (He drink once a while i would said a couples time in once a few months - he is not drinking person but depend on his mood) but i told him i did not like if he drink he said that im been control him, i was very upset i told him i would never control him but i just dont like him been drinkin' i told him for example he didn't like if i get any piercing he didn't like so i respect that what he don't like. but he said that im control him for me been dont like him drink, am i control? i just dont like it i never control him. and i told him maybe we should go to the counselor he don't want go and ain't feel comfortable, so now how can he calm with his angry temp? & not to out of control?
2007-09-20 07:58:53 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's called the cycle of violence - look it up.. it begins with a honeymoon phase where everything is heavenly.. then pressure begins to build, until there is an eruption either physcially, verbally, or both.. then he's so sorry, he'll never do it again.. and back into the honeymoon phase.. then around and around... it doesn't get better, it only gets worse.. as each time he gives himself more permission for the next time.. and each time, you allow him to blame you for what happened and he asserts more control over you...
Get counseling, or get out. It will get worse.
2007-09-20 08:08:21 · answer #1 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well...you could always just not him him angry. Weird..I know....but if he never gets angry you don't have to deal with his temp.
2007-09-22 14:54:25 · answer #2 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋