My hubby recently found out that I think one of his friends is a decent looking person. Not that I lust after him, have a crush on him, or anything like that. Just that I think he is a good looking man. He's blowing this whole thing out of proportion and going so far as that he doesn't want me around any of his friends now! He thinks that I should have thought "he's a friend of my hubby's so I can't look at him that way". Like I can turn off my eyes. So, how many of you would be offended if your spouse thought one of your friends was good looking?
2007-09-20 07:43:45 · 46 answers · asked by redpeach_mi 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I didn't openly tell him this, he was reading one of my answers to a question on here. And he knows that he has nothing to worry about with this guy because they don't really even hang out and the guy and I hate each other.
2007-09-20 07:55:44 · update #1
I would only be offended if he kept going on and on about. My husband has, in the past, noted that one of my friends is good-looking and I've taken no offense. If he were to begin hanging out with her or talking about her incessantly, then I would have some issues.
2007-09-20 07:48:01 · answer #1 · answered by ~*~ strryeyedgrrl ~*~ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We are only human and can't help to feel that someone looks attractive. This doesn't mean that there is curiousity there or any remote interest. However, I never would recommend voicing these moments to our significant other, as this may cause discomfort and maybe even jealosy. I can completely relate to your husband, especially if this is no normal conversation for the two of you. Also, consider the fact that he did find out from a source other than from you, so for him to see that you felt the need to mention this feeling or thought to another, might show him that this male friend is indeed on your mind. I would definately feel offended if the roles were reversed, but that is just me and my husband knows that I would definately be sensitive to a comment like that regarding one of my girlfriends. I would feel awkward with him around any of my friends or any female at that point, to think that he is judging them. But, me and my husband meet eye to eye with these types of things so this is not an issue for us, particularly. I recommend you let this by pass and don't put much into it, drawling it out bigger. Do what you can do, even extra things, to show that he is your king and no one else truly matters. Don't show anger towards his emotion, but only understanding and comfort w/extra loving. This can, eventually, only fade away. For future reference, try to fall back a little, allowing guy time, so he sees that you have no interest in these friends of his. He'll see you off doing your own thing, verses wanting to run around and hang with him and the fella's. Again, this is only suggestions and personal thoughts to the scenerio. Good Luck and God Bless!!!
2007-09-20 08:28:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to offend you by insulting your husband, but he sounds like a little *****. Only people that lack confidence in themselves or their relationship would get all crazy over what you described. Both me and my lady are very attractive people and we point out to each other all of the time other people we see that we think are good looking. Everyone has eyes and there is nothing wrong with looking. To deny that or pretend that the only attractive person in the world is your mate would not be realistic. I don't live in a fantasy world where the only person I have eyes for is my woman. Loving someone is different than being attracted to someone. Your man needs to learn that and get over it.
2007-09-20 07:52:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This answer is so funny b/c the way I found out that he thought one of my friends was attractive was on that stupid board game The Newlyweds. At the time we were newlyweds and my neighbors and our husbands were playing the game. The question was something like 'which one of your wife's friends do you find attractive?' None of the husbands wanted to answer the questions but all the wives were like just answer it. So my husband tells me that he found one of friends attractive. Total news to me, b/c we all went to high school together and he couldn't stand her. So I never would have thought her. I ended up getting mad and we got into a fight and blah,blah.blah. This was years ago and now I look back and just laugh about it. The girl and I are still friends and I never made him not be around her. That's just silly. Sometimes you think someone is attractive, it's just their personality that is not attractive. It doesn't mean that you want to leave your spouse for that person, or fantasize about them or whatever. I too had to answer which friend of his I thought was attractive. At that time I didn't think any of his friends were attractive, but if I had named someone I know he wouldn't have liked it.
2007-09-20 08:28:33 · answer #4 · answered by Erica 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think this is a right or wrong question, not as black and white. In fact its a perfectly grey question. Its about personality, ego and temperament. It would be so easy to say "oh, your spouse smacks of insecurity, he should grow up" but I bet if placed in similar situation most males and females will exhibit some insecurity. In your case you seem a little more secure in your relationship and he seems a little insecure but only time will heal. Give it time. Talk it out. I hope by the time this question closes you will have all made up.
2007-09-23 14:51:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its a good idea to let your partner know who you find attractive, but in all honesty men seem to make a habit out of it. I say whats good for the goose is good for the gander. Your partner feels threatened because the person is touchable, not a Hollywood figure or something like that. Tell your hubby he needs to get over it and trust that you won't act on it. That is what marriage is mainly based upon is trust not looks.
2007-09-20 07:51:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just found out that my husband thinks my best friend is cute, and I didn't know it before. I do not like it at all. Comments like this should never be shared, even if you and your spouse are best friends. The best thing for you to do now is to show your hubby extra attention when the friend is around. Comment on his biceps or something. He will be all smiles. Best wishes.
2007-09-20 07:49:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offended ...a little but as long as there is no physical relationship then it should be ok because you can't help who you think is good looking. I would be sure not to talk about him all the time though or compliment him because that will make your hubby think something's up
2007-09-20 07:54:47 · answer #8 · answered by oskiedancachic5 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has thought one of my friends was good-looking, and I was offended until I realized that just like you said, he can't turn off his eyes. And I can't turn off mine, either. According to a recent study, it shows that people can't help but be attracted to beautiful faces. The article I read about it even said that people in committed relationships tend to unconsciously focus on beautiful people of the same sex. The theory behind that states that those people are noticing what they believe their spouses would see in a potential competitor.
Unless you are planning on cheating on your husband, just explain to him that it is only natural for all of us to notice good looking people and that he is still the most attractive man to you. He'll get over it!
2007-09-20 07:51:16 · answer #9 · answered by Debi N 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay he isnt mad at you its the situation...his thought on the matter is you might leave him....alot of men think this way...just beause you married doesnt mean you cant look off the menu...it jus means you cant order. My husband went threw the whole thing when we was newly married...finally he realized that I love him and nothing is gonna take me away from him unless he wants to leave...that is something I have no control over.
2007-09-20 07:49:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋