I am married and I met a guy on the internet who met my emotional needs, the huuby found out!?

Question

I feel guilty and now he doesn't trust me, and watches every move I make, and I am getting frustrated and angry becasue I am feeling trapped by the questions and him not letting me go anywhere and having to ask permission to go anywhere or do anything...any suggestions on what I should to and how to deal with this??

Answer 1

Well! You certainly picked up a lot of blame here! It's so much easier to blame someone for doing wrong; no thinking required!

Ok, so you got caught and he's rubbing it in and using it to control you instead of forgiving you. Not a good sign.

So, what I think you need to do is to think about this relationship. He's domineering and suspicious, and you're not emotionally satisfied. Are there other problems as well?

You should think about what you both can do to save the relationship, or if it's not worth saving. If you were emotionally unhappy, the first thing to do was to talk about it with him. Maybe you didn't really know that until you found this other guy, but you do now. It sounds like you both need to do some work here. Good luck.

Answer 2

You and hubby need to open up some new lines of communications and levels in your relationship. Don't just sit around being resentful, use this as an opportunity to build a better relationship.

Sit down with him and smile and say something like "I'd like to have a better relationship with you. What can we do together that would be fun?" Don't complain about or criticize anything. Just listen with an open and happy mind and add some ideas of your own. If you're having fun together, then you're not misbehaving apart.

Talking with him in positive ways, not "this is wrong" but rather "how can we make things better" will be wonderful for both of you.

Answer 3

Quit being a floozy. Way to set an example for your child. You made your bed now deal with it. Accept your punishment and grow up. Obviously your husband loves you very much. If he didnt then you would be single now. How would you like it if he did the same thing to you? Dont be surprised if he does, and you will act the same way to him that he is to you.

Being married is about communication. If you are not emotionally happy then you need to talk to your husband,not some stranger on the internet that does not respect you or your marriage. There is a such thing as an emotional affair hun, and it is just as damaging as a sexual one.

You are lucky your husband is willing to forgive you.

Answer 4

First, if your marriage means that much to you, you should end this emotional affair. An emotional affair can be just as bad a physical affair. You have broke his trust and that is the reason why is watching your every move. You need to tell him why you did this to give him closure and decide if you feel you want to continue to work on your marriage. The best thing you can do is sit down and talk about of it. Even if it takes a couselor to help

Answer 5

You f'd up. Why marry a man who doesn't satisfy your emotional need? That was just plain stupid. Point is you're too immature to be married. As an added bonus, you have a 3 year old don't you! You're risking your marriage and your child for a guy you met online. What type of a mother are you? A bad one! Can everyone agree with me that this girl is beyond stupid. Deal with it, if he was smarter he would have dumped you already.

Answer 6

Well, you brought it on yourself haven't you??
So, I think that you shold be happy that you two haven't separated over that or worse.
Right now, what you want to do is forget about yourself, because yu can see it was because you were selfish enougth in the first place that you got yourself in this situation.
So, how about thinking a bit more of your hubby and realize that he has feelings and that after hurting him that way, you need to do what it takes to regain his trust.
In fact, if he hadn't got this in time, you may well have strayed, so, what then??/
Do the crime, but be ready to do the time!

Answer 7

Why arent you telling us if your still 'chatting' with the 'other' man ?

How did your husband find out ?

And honestly, do you really have to ask permission to go somewhere or just dont "want' to tell him where you go ?

This situation can get very messy if your not careful, sweetheart.

Answer 8

Since he wont meet your emotional needs let him watch you talk to this guy so he can learn how. If he isnt interested in caring about your emotional needs why does he care where you go or what you do? Ill tell you why....all he cares about is himself and what he might lose. He doesnt care about the loss of your emotional needs being met. Ask him why he cares only about himself and not you.

Answer 9

Did you take it beyond the internet?
Your husband values you, but doesn't match up to how you want to be valued. Maybe you can try and teach each other how to love each other the why both of you want to be loved. You have his attention know so do something with it.

Answer 10

You shouldn't have to ask for permission from your husband to go anywhere, even if you violated his trust. You have to tell him that you are not his property, that he is going to have to trust you, because other wise the marriage is not going to last. I understand if he is jealous, and don't trust you. But for you to have to ask for his approval to go out its plain insane. Is he abusive towards you? Has he threatened you in any way? If you say yes to any of those two questions, get help from the cops. If he hasn't done any of those things, talk to him and promise him that you are not going to do it again.