Why won't she leave my husband alone?

Question

This one girl, an old friend of my husband's from highschool, won't stop calling my husband? He ignores all her phone calls and then she calls from a private number after he doesn't answer. The one night I got so fed up b/c she called very late, and I said "What? he's sleeping!" And she called back left a message and said "Why is your wife answering your phone?" Finally he answered months later to see what she wanted, and she just wanted to keep their friendship. I don't think its right for married couples to have single friends b/c she only wants to hang out with him, and not get to know me. How do I get her to back off since she won't take a hint from my hubby!!??

Haha I like the restraining order idea. ;)

Man your answers are making me crack up, thanks for all your help!! It gives me some ideas on how I will handle this b i t c h

Answer 1

Changing the phone number is probably a good start. It may help. There are ways to get phone numbers, though. I think under normal circumstances that married couples having single friends is fine... but this is not normal circumstances. This girl wanting to be friends with your husband alone and not include you at all is not normal. Your husband may need to have it out with her that the relationship she wants (excluding you) is inappropriate and unwanted. If she really does want to maintain a friendship with your husband, that friendship needs to include you (always by his side). If she can't do that, then she wants more than a friendship and needs to look elsewhere for relationship.

Answer 2

Hmmm that sounds fishy to me. I think that if she is not already getting the hint with the avoiding calls and so on the only option would be to tell your husband to tell her not to call anymore. Make sure he is firm and doesn't beat around the bush about it because she seems to be the type that just doesn't get it. Have him tell her the truth, that her calling is really creating problems with you and your husband and that if she shows no interest in getting to know him as a couple, then she has no business knowing him at all.

I would honestly be a little concerned, calling all the time and esp. when she left the message saying "why is your wife answering your phone?" Why wouldn't you answer it? Have they had a past relationship? That is just strange to me. Anyways~ I wish you nothing but the best! :) Good luck! :)

Answer 3

Your husband has a nut case stalker on his hands. First he needs to quit hinting and outright tell her to stop calling. If she keeps bothering him then he needs to report her to the police for phone harassment and see about getting a restraining order which if she violates will be in trouble with the law. Be careful because from what you said here this lady is not normal or reasonable.
The fact she wonders why you would answer his phone (and there is no reason you shouldnt) proves she wants you out of the picture and this isnt just about friendship).
She sounds like a mental case to me. I would run a background check on her also to see what shes been up to since he knew her. I caution you that you could be dealing with a dangerous person only because of things I heard from a man in a similar situation.

Answer 4

There's nothing wrong with a married person having friends of the opposite sex that are single or married. That's a little bit overboard. BUT in this situation, sounds like you're dealing with a lunatic bordering on harrassment. Pick up the phone next time and inform the psycho that she is NOT to call your home again, or have your husband tell her. Threaten to file a complaint. Good luck.

Answer 5

I wouldn't think too much of it since your husband is obviously on your side of this ordeal. He has ignored her and done all he can do. He is faithful and honest with you and thats wonderful! He respects you as a wife and your marriage. A lot of people miss out on that. One option is you could get his number changed so that she can't call back. Other than that just continue to ignore her calls. You were right in answering his phone. You are a couple and have a right to answer it when he's not available. Don't worry. Your husband is doing what he should do. Best of luck!

Answer 6

If your husband doesn't wish to hear from her, or continue the relationship it's my advice that he tell her politely to buzz off and change his number. If he decides that she is a good friend and you're still struggling to meet ends on how to handle the 'hang out', I would suggest that he urge her to have all of you to hang out together, that way you can get a feel for each other. (She might be hesitant to meet you in fear that you got the wrong impression.) Having single friends isn't the problem, it's having single friends that don't respect that you're married! If all fails and you still have a strong feeling that her intentions aren't good natured or she's still a pill about things then maybe it's time the two of you talk and your husband took a good look at this friendship and asks himself if this other woman is worth putting up a barricade between the two of you. I'm no expert but this is one married woman's advice to another. I hope it helps and good luck!

Answer 7

You can hit *60 after she calls the house phone. And that will block her from calling. EVery number she calls from after you hang up just hit *60.
If she doesn't realize she isn't welcome I would start logging every time she calls or bothers him. Go to the courthouse have her slapped with a restraining order. That will wake her up.
But if you want to do it in a pleasant manner. Just call her yourself and speak with her. Sometimes that helps. If a WIFE or GIRLFRIEND speaks to the WOMAN in question. When she realizes he is communicating her EVERY move to you she may realize that her games aren't working. But if all else fails the restraining order should work just fine.

Answer 8

Seriously, She can be a great deal to handle so you need to handle this as a serious harrassment situation. Find out her address and send her a certified letter informing her that the harrassing calls need to stop. Notify the cell provider of the harrassing calls and they will change your number for free. Keep all the records of her calls and if it gets down to it, head straight to the police department to report the incidents. Cover all your bases. She sounds as if she was led on and cannot let go. Brings to mind Fatal Attraction.

Answer 9

How bout you have your husband change his cell phone #? Have your husband tell her over the phone (infront of you of course) that he wants nothing to do w/ her nor needs her friendship. I bet she's also calling to be a pain in the a*s because she knows how much it's bothering you... I'd take her call, put her on speaker phone and tell her how great it is to get her phone call and hear about how well shes doing and hang up, lol... you should def. have him change his number, if it means nothing to him and he doesnt care he would change it... don't take any excuses from him either... Good luck!

Answer 10

You are absolutley correct in that married couples should not have single friends that they hang out with. It is unhealthy and playing with fire. There are times when good friends that both in the marriage like, hang out with both, but not individually.

Your hubby needs to become a little more aggresive in his tactics. Kindly but firmly let her know that he appreciates the past friendship, but his marriage is his focus. Any external friendships are never close to being as important as the marriage friendship and relationship.

If she persists, then "he" not you needs to seek lawful means to keep her from calling and bothering him. Remember, your hubby needs to act, legally, you can't do much unless there are threats.

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