I have just decided to end a 6yr relationship with the father of my 5yr old. We never really got along, never communicated and I no longer have any feelings for this man. Although he is a good father and our daughter loves him to death i have decided that it is best for us to end the relationship. Problem is i just found out im 2mos pregnant with this mans kid. i feel our relationship definitely cannot b saved. im only 26yrs old, im still in school. i am also looking for a job. i have thought about keeping it without having to get back w him but i ask myself is it fair to the child? i really need advise on this i know i wont b the first or last single mother out there, but i also have goals i have yet to accomplish. Please dont judge me, i am praying alot so that i have the wisdom to do the right decision. what should i do?????
2007-09-20 05:35:25 · 18 answers · asked by blackmamba81 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can do this...I'm sure you have friends and family that will support you.
Dont stay with him for the kids...your children in the long run will want their mommy to be happy
2007-09-20 05:40:28 · answer #1 · answered by stolen car 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this is god will. If you marry this person, you must have feeling for him at one point. Something must have happen that cause you to lose interest in this man. I just have a little arguement with my wife last night. i said I am not getting enough rest and only sleep 5-6 hour on some working day. Quess what she said. "You have to work to pay the bill. You cannot be lazy...." That sound reasonable right, but when I start this converstation I was hoping for a vacation. We did talk about Los Vegas this chrismas and I want a re-honeymoon in Hawaii around January 2008. So I was trying to keep the 2 vacation a year thing going, but now I get this stupid lazy name calling. Do you feel the love? I don't. But doesn't mean I won't work around it. I just give her another try and ask her to change her thinking. It is not always about work and money. It is also about two person wanting a happy life. Guy will be asshole, and girl will be bitches. But that does not mean we have to keep looking. There is not perfect guy or girl out there. See if you can change your partner to be the perfect guy. Good luck.
2007-09-20 05:51:30 · answer #2 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a really tough decision to make. But if it can't work, it can't work. Do however consider that, like you said, you will be a single mother, still in school, looking for a job. It may be hard, but with a child and another on the way, your goals may have to be on the back burner for a while.
It also seems like the father has no idea of your intentions of divorce. Maybe you should separate first, for a while, to reevaluate your whole relationship; just to get a better perspective or your whole situation.
I'm no marriage or life consoler, but I do think that this requires a lot of input from both friends and family.
2007-09-20 05:48:40 · answer #3 · answered by tim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is feeling, knowing, and then really knowing. You have been with him for 6 years there must be some reason. Emotions are really fickle. Even though you are not married a defacto marriage does exist. You have two children to raise now. I know of many couples that one (usually the woman) knows its over, can't be fixed, never loved him, etc. Just after years of pain on both parties, they realized the mistake. Please find some real help to find out. You really need to try everything two or three times. Many people will say “you deserve to be with someone that makes you happy”. In reality you only deserve what you have earned and no one or thing can make you happy, that comes from inside you. And please consider what your children need, a secure home, family and love. You say you are praying, and looking for wisdom. The best source for wisdom that I know of is the good book.
Ask your self what you want more when it’s your time to leave this earth, a life time of regrets and memories you never had, or a life long companion, a happy and health family., and a wealth of memories.
2007-09-20 06:26:45 · answer #4 · answered by cmrwash 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you are a strong woman. And praying is a good start. No it is never a good idea to stay in a relationship for the kids. Seek out some counseling and family members who you know will be there for you. If you feel you can't keep the child there is many good homes of couples who can't have kids and would love a child. God blessed my hubby and I with a six year old we adopted one of the best things we ever did.....good luck
2007-09-20 05:46:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you don' t have to do it or feel guilty about anything. It is time to get your life on track again. If you do chose to keep the baby, that Does Not mean you have to stay with the father. In fact, that can be worse in some cases. You have a lot of thinking to do, but something tells me you know what you want to do already. Go with your instincts. Don't let anyone judge you. There is only one Judge!
2007-09-20 06:33:22 · answer #6 · answered by babygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two options, go where the money is and research the hot professions and hit the ground running. Or do what you love the pay might not be there but it is what you enjoy, and they say if you truly enjoy it the money will come eventually along with doing what you love. I know this isnt the exact answer but it might make you think and help pic a direction. If you go for the money, you need to specialize in something that is up and coming so you can be the "go to" person, check you yahoo or time they always have hot industry lists.
2016-05-19 02:39:00 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not love this man anymore I would not get back with him. As for the child I would keep the baby because the baby is a part of you too. It seems that you have goals so do not let anyone or thing stop you. You have done it this far with one so you could also with two childern
I hope God gives you an answer. god bless
2007-09-20 05:43:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im totally against abortion, i say if ur old enough to have sex ur old enough to attain the consequences. pregnancy bieng one of them.
its great that ur looking for a better future, but think about this. what are u going to feel when ur 5 yr old graduates and then ur " second baby "would've" graduated 4 yrs. later."
honey, i pray for u. there are lots of single mothers that make it for the sake of their children. i know ur strong, and even if i dont know u i believe ull make the right decision.
just keep in mind that, what ever the decision u make, it will also bring consequences.
i wish you the best. and congrats on ur new baby..........
♥
2007-09-20 05:45:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am of the belief that every child deserves a two parent household....at least try it one more time for the sake of the child...then if it doesn't work out...continue in ending the relationship
2007-09-20 05:45:11 · answer #10 · answered by sunbun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep the baby. Examine your reasons for ending the relationship. Can it be saved? Have you tried counseling? A baby is more important than your goals. Adoption would be better than abortion even. good-luck.
2007-09-20 05:45:11 · answer #11 · answered by undone 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋