I am very depressed about my relationship. We decided to go our seperate ways because he just said he can not be the person I want him to be right now. He is still trying to finish things with his ex with whom he has 2 kids, and he will not go public about us so I had to end it. Now he acts like he never did care about me. I am a very smart nice person. I still love him very much, but lately, when I get home from work, I find myself drinking more and more. I usually mix Vodka with whatever I have in the house. Then I just sit alone at home. I am really scared cause I feel myself slipping. I don't want to end up some alcoholic who loses everything, but I feel so hurt and I don't know how to deal with this. Anyone who has advice, especially if you've been in my shoes, would be very very much appreciated.
2007-09-20 05:04:35 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The first step is admitting you have a problem. Now the second step is to go get help now.
2007-09-20 05:09:22 · answer #1 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were right to ask for help and im sorry that things are so hard for you right now. Dont worry, your not exactly an alcoholic at the moment, but it could go that way. I was in the same position a few years ago and i used to drink alone, but i didnt do it for long because drinking doesnt solve anything.
You should talk to your girlfriends or your mom about how you feel, it really will help. Talking helps to make you feel better. When you get home from work everyday try to make sure you have something do to aswell, instead of sitting alone drinking. Join a club, meet up with some friends, get a dog and walk it, make sure you do something.
And this way you might meet someone new in the process. I hope my advice helps you and i hope your going to be ok.
2007-09-20 05:14:31 · answer #2 · answered by eva m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I have never been in this position but it looks like you are putting yourself in this position because if you realise a pattern growing then stop it before it gets out of hand. If you are going home to be by yourself get rid of anything there that may tempt you to drink, so you may go home and read or watch tv or do something else, anything else to pass the time and keep your mind of what is happening with you. But the best advice I can give you is not to keep to yourself, join some friends for a lime outdoors and enjoy their company cause if you keep wallowing in your sorrow you may soon forget how to enjoy yourself and pretty soon all hope will be lost.
2007-09-20 05:12:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I seperated from my husband I did this... I got up, sorted out my little and took her to school, worked all day and once my little one was in bed I would start on the wine, I lived off wine and cigerettes, my only food was chocolate and crisps. I used to consume at least a bottle of wine a night if not more on a weekend. I also used to sit on my own feeling all sad and depressed but then something clicked and gradually I was happy with my own company once my little one was in bed and bit by bit my drinking decreased too. People deal with loss in different ways and when a relationship ends you are dealing with a loss regardless of who ended it! Time is a great healer and you will be fine, give yourself time to mourn your loss and just remember how special you are!!!
Take care of yourself OK, if you think the drinking is seriously getting out of hand get help. i.e. if you start drinking as soon as you get up in the morning, if you drink steadily throughout the day, if you have physical symptoms of withdrawal (shakes, sweats etc).
2007-09-20 05:14:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alchoholism isn't how much you drink but how it affects your life. I don't think your an alchoholic yet, I think your self medicating to ease the pain and many of us do this. It's not the best way but I understand and I think it's good that you are recognizing the possibility that it could lead into a lifestyle. You were right to leave the relationship since he couldn't really commit himself to you but hurt is hurt and we have all been there. Try to back down from the alchohol a little at a time and get back into life, it will take time, but you will be okay....promise!
2007-09-20 05:10:12 · answer #5 · answered by LilSunbeam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just drowning your sorrows. You are curious about your actions and looking inside yourself for the reasons behind your actions, alcoholics are not taking these steps. You need to understand why that relationship didn't work and learn something from it, not just about yourself but about him also. I bet that man will never get his grap together and is this what you want in a man. You deserve to have a man that wants to be with you and makes no secret about it. You deserve a man that understands that it is not fair to mess with others emotions while they are still a mess. I think you will be fine. Ya know what, go out and have a drink.
2007-09-20 05:14:36 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Candi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you are becoming one. you need to get yourself together and get on with your life. it could be possible that he is hurting to but doesn't show it in public.
i you have friends at work see if they want to do something afterwards. but going home and start drinking is not the answer.
after a while seeing him around won't hurt as much but for now you have to be able to deal with the pain. and trying to drink it away is not the answer.
good luck to you if it gets really bad go to a meeting for AA or even find a singles group that you can join.
2007-09-20 05:15:53 · answer #7 · answered by joyce m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good that you are recognizing that you have a problem. That's the first step, the second one is to seek out help. Is there a local chapter of AA in your area? You may want to attned one of their meetings and speak with others who are experiencing similar situations as yourself. Your not alone in this matter.
2007-09-20 05:11:44 · answer #8 · answered by lpogue2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do think u are on your way to being an alcholic .. I have a friend who is dealing with alchoholism as well.. it all does stem from some sort of depression .. in your case this guy is so not worth throwing your life away .. these days it is easy to get help .. pls do so immediately .. so you can get back on your feet .. there are so many other great men out there ! good luck sweetie !
2007-09-20 05:14:02 · answer #9 · answered by lilli 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in depression. Please call for help at a counselors office or mental health clinic, or church pastor's office. This sounds serious. Get the alcohol out of the house and do not restock, or go to a bar. You have enough problems without adding alcoholism to the pile.
2007-09-20 05:17:02 · answer #10 · answered by oldknowitall 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋