I ask this because I am an attractive woman, but I am afraid to get down to my goal weight because I am afraid of the attention from men and hostility from women. I have found that during the periods of my life when I was thin and beautiful, I couldn't go anywhere without men hitting on me and women being jealous and catty with me. It seems easier for me to just keep eating and being fat, that way I am not a threat to anyone. Does this make sense? How can I overcome this?
2007-09-20 04:28:39 · 22 answers · asked by Martie 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
When were you happier and when did you feel healthier-- then or now? Quite honestly, I don't think it matters how you look if you're happy. Those who pay attention to you because you look beautiful, or those who ignore you when you feel that you're not at your best are not worth knowing.
2007-09-20 04:36:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I can always appreciate another beautiful woman. Then again, I'm not in a competition with anyone. I've been told that I am beautiful too. That's all a matter of opinion.
When I first read your question, I was wondering if it was centered around self-esteem issues and abuse. (Where I live, lots of beautiful women let themselves go because they've been raped or abused in some way, and don't WANT the attention.)
I think you have to do what you need to do to feel good about yourself, and forget about what other people think. Women are natuarally jealous of other women - even women they don't know!!! Sometimes they're jealous of their friends, siblings, roommates, whatever! It makes no sense, and there is no rhyme or reason to it. I think that's why plastic surgery is so popular. It's a real opportunity to be Dorothy from the "Wizard of Oz." Be someone else... Seems easy enough, right?
You do not control other people, nor do you control their reactions to things you say, or do. I don't really see that as a good enough reason to avoid meeting your own personal goals. You don't have to see these catty women all the time do you? So one snide comment here and there shoudn't really affect you or your day. =)
Be well, and be your best. I would, I have, and I AM.
2007-09-20 04:39:43 · answer #2 · answered by Methlehem 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, women should be insulted that sexism is alive and well in the USA. If Hillary had appeared feminine in any way she would have been laughed out of the arena. Same reason she had to appear hard line on her Iraq vote, any sign of weakness would have been grasped upon as a 'female' vice. Look at the fuss when she teared up in New Hampshire, Bush, Clinton and other males shed tears and it's compassion, Hillary does it and it's weakness. Better ask, what message is America sending, that feminine dress is a sign of weakness in all aspects of the business world.
2016-05-19 02:19:39 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you overcome this? Simple, stop caring what others think of you. No matter what you look like or act like there will be people that don't like you. if your fat people will not like you and if your thin people will not like you so love you for you not what other people want you to be. If you like being thin and more attractive then be that way, if you want to be fatter then be fatter. Love yourself the way you want to be. Men are pigs and only want one thing from women and that is sex, they will say and do everything they can think on so for that one thing. Once you get to that "social attractive" stage then of course men are going to try and hit on you cause they want to have sex with you only. The women who are catty are bad women in general and have low self esteem because they see you as a threat. That is their issue not yours. Just be you and let the world go on by itself. It is impossible to please everyone but it is very possible to please yourself.
2007-09-20 06:46:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think so but many women have different reasons for not looking their best. I am an obese woman and have come to realize that it is because my mother was sexually abused as a child and I felt that women who made themselves unappealing didn't have to worry about sexual advances from men. My mother always tried to keep me aware of predators but at the same time tried to give me a healthy image of my body and let me know that sexual urges are natural but it took me a long time to be comfortable with myself. Stuffing my face didn't really work anyway, I have always been told I have a pretty face and even at my heaviest, a complete stranger walked up to me and said I apologize, I don't mean to offend you in any way I just wanted to say that you are a very beautiful woman and then he walked away. After that I started trying to lose weight and realized how much more confidence I had and the extra attention was flattering. Any negative looks from women I just brushed off because they didn't know me and the looks were just jealousy which is natural. I would have continued losing but the medication I was taking to help me lose the weight was beginning to have negative side affects and I chose to stop taking them. I am now pregnant with my first child and I want to immediately start a diet and exercise program after I give birth because the most important thing is to be healthy for myself and my child and I shouldn't worry about any positive or negative attention I get from the changes in my body.
2007-09-20 04:47:24 · answer #5 · answered by Cinderelly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In the corporate world, good looks actually work to your advantage. People like to surround themselves with other good looking people. Physiologically, others are attracted to attractive faces----which is also why you will not see any unattractive people in retail sales. Good looking women have an easier time communicating their point to their managers or clients because their looks can keep the attention of their audience. On the other hand, people who are considered overweight are generally criticized and looked down upon, mainly because it tells others that you do not care enough about yourself to take good care of your personal appearance. I suppose this must be true because all of the female partners at my firm are good looking.
Part of being beautiful is learning how to take the additional attention and make it work to your benefit---and learning how to ignore unwanted attention or jealousy.
2007-09-20 04:38:26 · answer #6 · answered by Heart of Fire 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, men are gonna hit on you anyways. Its how you handle it. About the girls being Catty. are they just jealous cuz a guy they like is giving his attention to you?(most of the time) or another possiblity is that they are used to really beautiful girls being bitches... I think it is mainly a defense with girls. Girls can be really catty. I think it up to you. dont make yourself "ugly" so you stop getting the attention because you might get a different kind of attention then.
2007-09-20 04:36:06 · answer #7 · answered by Dancer06 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, it does and it doesn't. Being unhealthy just because you're worried about what other people think is nonsense. Continuing to overindulge just to make yourself unattractive for the benefit of other people is nonsense. You seem to have a self-esteem issue, you believe that the opinions of others determine your value. That is wrong, don't punish yourself for being blessed. So what if people are jealous, so what if men hit on you. Let the jealous women eat their hearts out, there is no cure for that, that is their own problem. Let the men hit on you, all you have to do if you're not interested is tell them to sod off. It's okay, you can get away with that when you're good looking.
2007-09-20 04:40:57 · answer #8 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 9⤊ 0⤋
I can understand where you are coming from. Unfortunately if you are attractive women will be catty and men will look. It wouldn't matter if you gained weight or lost it. I think you should do what makes you happy, and ignore all of them!
*I have found the BEST way to keep men from hitting on you. When they start walking towards you, and you can tell what they are thinking, just start picking your nose! Works everytime! hahaha
2007-09-20 04:36:04 · answer #9 · answered by Gracie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
date me and i take care of you? just kidding. Yes it is i seen that a couple of times looking too good. There also been a cast where some women who think they look too good to date certain men they like b/c of what people might say.
But i know it can be stressful for a beautiful women the best way is just smile and walk away. You are a beautiful person and you should never shy away from that b/c thats who you are
2007-09-20 04:36:33 · answer #10 · answered by SCANDOFONZnyc 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Really???? WOW!!! Ironically, I am just the opposite. I love it when women get jealous of me, it actually makes me feel good. Not that I want anyone to be upset with me, it just makes me feel good, that I have something others want, and maybe if they want it bad enough, they will strive for it themselves. Make any sense?
As for guys, I like it when some guys hit on me, but there are some out there, that make me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. So I feel your pain there.
I think it is REALLY important though to feel confident with your looks (whether it is looking good, or being happy with a little extra weight). You just need to be happy with the way you look, It really helps with self esteem.
2007-09-20 04:37:41 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋