Social Anxiety is ruining my relationship.?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years but i dont think theres much hope for us. I hate going out, i hate socialising, its like a nightmare scenario, im ok around close friends and family but anyone outside of that im extremely uncomfortable with. Im terrified to meet new people, i dont know what to say. Everyone thinks im a b*tch cos i just stare away and dont speak. My boyfriend is the opposite, he loves going out, socialising, meeting new people. I would love to be like that but im not. Im paranoid people are thinking and saying things about me and drive him mad moaning about it. I hate going to his parents house cos they always have friends over and i hate meeting them all.

We are so different and he does not understand what it is like to have social anxiety.

Is there anything I can do? Idon't want to lose him.

Answer 1

Well, you obviously have a problem with anxiety, and if you social skills are so underdeveloped, I really can't understand how you have a boyfriend, let alone for 4 years. Make the conscious effort that you want to change, see a therapist who can help you talk through and over come your anxieties. With the support of your boyfriend and your close friends that you feel comfortable with, you will slowly be able to build your social skills and increase your confidence. It won't come to you one day in a dream, or come in a magic potion, you have to make it happen for yourself, otherwise, you are destined for a life of isolation and complaining to those who are around you, and they won't be very likely to put up with it for very long, so you may and up completely alone if you don't act right away.

Answer 2

I am so happy, it was only a 35 minute drive ( 70 minutes total) but absolutely no sign of anxiety or panic i shopped till I dropped - brilliant! I will now go for the next stage DUAL CARRIAGE way, probably at the weekend, with my husband accompanying me first then the solo drive, if successful the final stage of driving on motorway

Beat Anxiety And Panic Attacks Naturally?

Answer 3

40000 Cured Social Anxiety - http://SocialAnxiety.uzaev.com/?ruOp

Answer 4

Your a good person, and I can see it in your genuine desire to curb an issue that you've come to terms with.

Remember these life long lessons to eliminating anxiety - something I suffered with for over 15 years before I conquered it.:

1. mild antidepressant called "Celexa" - best on the market, helps tremendously, you don't even realize your on it.

2. talking about it - whether here, or in better suited forums about depression and anxiety (all over the net) - talking = healing

3. as much as I hate this one: physical exercise at least twice a week for 30 minutes at a time. exercise = more endorphans run through brain= feel better giving you the perpetual motion to improve your self esteem.

- finally, don't worry about what others say. You're not a *****, and those who think you are - are shallow and ignorant.
Many lifelong relationships are between people like you and your boyfriend. You're social shyness compliments his own feelings of inadequacy and insecurity by making him feel better about himself (very deep subject.)

Bottom line, work on the first 3 points, eliminate negative people in your life who make you feel inferior - and you'll beat this hands down.

Answer 5

I would say that the "problem" you are experiencing is not that uncommon and if you attempt to get help "from a Doctor" and he still is not understanding then he is not the one for you. I would see a specialist, I'm sure you can find one..I have a slight fear of social situations and it can be tough when people don't understand "why you don't want to come to the party" etc...just try and see help! good luck!

Answer 6

i was the exact same way. people thought i was stuck up but actually i was just too shy and nervous to speak so i hid in a corner. i went to a doctor and am taking 5 mg/day of anti-anxiety medication. i've been on it for almost 4 years now. it has really helped me. it's low enough that i don't feel drugged but just enough that i'm not nervous about being around people. please see your doctor. good luck.