Do you think marriage is sometimes centered around the children?

Answer 1

Every piece of advice that I have ever read suggests that parents who center their marriage around their children end up with a failed marriage. Because when they place everything within their children, they leave nothing left over for themselves.

Granted, children should play a very important part of a marriage, but the parents need to remember that the reason they got married was because they loved each other, first.

Answer 2

Yes. This is sad, because the marriage should be centered around the husband and wife. That is, the children should be the result of the love between a man and his wife--not the reason for their love. As the children grow, the love affair between the two parents should grow as well; so that once the children have matured and gone their way, the marriage is still strong. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. In fact, it rarely is for most couples.

Answer 3

Yes most definitely.Especially in the early years once the children are born. But as you grow older and the children are ready to fly the nest , the institution of marriage takes on a new dimension. After living with each other for so many years a couple starts respecting each others taste and interests and is willing to compromise and sacrifice a little just for the pleasure of giving. Even at this stage the common interest is the children and they are the binding force.

Answer 4

Some, yes, but for those that are pregnant already, if both parties are able, get along, love each other etc., getting married really is best. If a couple that's pregnant and not married don't get along, why are they having sex in the first place? Not to say that child should be the center of their marriage, but it's always best to bring children into the world when parents are married to each other.

Sometimes it's hard to have God and the two of you remain the center of your marriage, or just the two of you for those that don't believe in God, when kids are involved. Kids need 99.99999% of the time, energy, etc. This is where priorities need to come into play.

1.God, for them that believe. If not, go to number 2.
2.The couple
3.The kids

Answer 5

Now if you both truly love each other, naturally the kids will have their place in the marriage. What happens when the kids leave home? The marriage is about you and your spouse children are a product of it and have their place. Many people center marriage on kids because they do not have real feelings for each other.

Answer 6

I think ideally there should be a balance btw focusing on the children, on each other, and on mutual goals, such as spiritual growth, community service, growing a business, etc.. What happens to the marriage that is focused only on the children, when the children grow up? Empty-nest syndrome? The dissolution of the marriage? There are many types of marriage and many stages within one marriage. Married couples who want to stay together have to periodically re-negotiate.

Answer 7

I think that in some cases, yes. Some people are brought up to believe that you should get married because you are pregnant, or that you should stay in an unhappy marriage because you have children. What they don't think about is, is having the children around an unhappy relationship good for THEM? Are they going to grow up thinking that you should "stay together for the kids"? Are they going to grow up thinking that their parent's relationship is the norm, and end up doing the same? I personally believe that if you are in a relationship, and you are not happy. End it. You would be setting an example for your children. Let them know that they deserve to be happy. That they don't need to stay in something that makes them miserable...But then, that's only my opinion.

Answer 8

Yes. As in some cases around the country, parents get married for children and are likely to end up divorced by the time the child is out of high school, if not sooner. That's what happened with my parents anyway...

Answer 9

Parents should keep in mind that nothing makes happier children than happy parents. If children see their parents love each other, give affection, attention, and respect each other, they in turn, grow up happier, healthier and not afraid of commitment or marriage; when they see how much their parents love each other, they feel secure and protected. It is good to make it a rule for children to allow "mommy and daddy" time to spend together. It also teaches them not to be selfish or self-centered.

Answer 10

I think, and I imagine someone else already said this, that when two people don't have something to connect them, that is something to bind them together, they tend to focus on their children. Then, when the children move out, there is a huge void created in the home and divorce becomes an option.