I'm 32 and My husband of 4 years is 31. he just started this restaurant job. he used to do carpentry now he works in the kitchen and sometime the front desk. my husband usually doesn't wear cologne but since he started working there he has been shaving and wearing cologne everyday. his family owns restaurant so he works with family members except for this one girl she is a close friend of the familys (not close with him) he seems to know a little bit about her like her work schedule and her days off at her other job. I know they talk and i get so jealous and can't help but think that he likes her. when i asked him he said his father told him to shave all the time and that the outfit sometimes smells like food that's why he wears cologne. i nag and always accuse him of cheating for no reason but this time I really don't know It hurts just to think he likes someone. everything else seems to be normal at home we still have sex everyday. is it ok to like someone when you're already marrie
2007-09-20 03:53:13 · 15 answers · asked by Janice 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you jealous nature and obsession about him cheating on your will be the cause of you divorce. You probably will push him into another woman's arm. So get over it and get over yourself fast.
2007-09-20 04:01:33 · answer #1 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, it isn't okay for someone to like another person (sexually) when they are married, but unless there is something you aren't telling us, you really have no cause to jump to conclusions in this situation.
I'm a nurse and I work with alot of different patients...men, women, children. I wear make-up everyday to work and perfume. I also dress nice when I go out with friends and family and I wear perfume then too, but I'm not looking for a man. I have a wonderful man and I am very happy with him. Still, that doesn't mean that I can't look nice, smell nice, and take care of myself when I'm not with him so that I feel confident in how I appear.
All the accusing and badgering you are doing is only driving a wedge between the two of you, which could cause resentment later on. You need to start putting less effort into being jealous and suspicious and more effort into loving and appreciating your man. Pamper him, cook for him, keep your house tidy, leave him love notes, tell him you love him, call each other throughout the day at work, make passionate love to him each night (you said you already had that one down), and most of all trust him. Let him know he is the man of your dreams and that you are the luckiest woman alive to be his. Let him know how much you appreciate him working all day so that you two can share a comfortable life together. Treat him so well, he would be a lunatic to even think of another woman.
Lighten up and stop worrying over nothing. You can find something wrong with everything if you look hard enough. Start focusing on the positive and that will become your state of mind.
2007-09-20 04:41:43 · answer #2 · answered by Gretta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're definitely too old to be acting like a teenage girl. Do you really, honestly think that your husband is flirting or having an affair (or whatever else you are thinking) in his FAMILY's restaurant? I don't think so. You should be clean shaven in the restaurant business, and since when does wearing cologne mean you like someone? Get real.
Now if strange phone numbers are appearing on the phone bill, he's out late for no reason, distant, etc. those are reasons to worry. I don't think you have a thing to worry about. Stop nagging and drop it before you drive him crazy.
2007-09-20 04:04:59 · answer #3 · answered by Student Doctor House 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because you get married doesn't mean you won't find other people attractive. If he is representing his family's business, he needs to look his best. I wouldn't worry about him wearing colonge, just if you smell perfume start to worry. Men and women can be friends without anything further. BUT, I also believe in gut feelings. SO, quit nagging him and accusing him, until you have a reason to, that is only going to bring distance between you both and hurt your marriage. Just keep your eyes and ears open. It's not OK to like someone when you're married NO, but it happens. Just trust your instincts, but don't push too much or you may just push him straight towards her. Also, it's not unusual for him to know her schedule, since he does work with her and it's a family business, he holds more responsibility.
2007-09-20 04:17:47 · answer #4 · answered by Ginger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are blowing this thing way out of proportion. he works at a place where a girl happens to work. big deal. he has to shave for the job and i have worked in a restaurant so i know that your clothes smell like the food. you have nothing to worry about. stop worrying.
2007-09-20 04:00:12 · answer #5 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you have nothing to worry bout, i mean its just a job like any other job and you happen see this girl around him cuz its the family business or else you wouldnt and thats why it gets to you but dont worry bout it if everything is fine at home and everything is still the way it was before and dont question him bout it anymore why this and that cuz then you will get him fed up and tired of that
2007-09-20 04:22:37 · answer #6 · answered by <3 ME 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Likeing is ok.....................it's not right to cross that line.
Your hubby works around the public now. He has to look and smell better.
Jealousy will kick you in the butt if you don't get ahold of it.
We all can be married and have friends with the people we work with. We pretty much have to get along with those we do work with.
Start making more appearances at his job. I bet that will ease your fears!!
2007-09-20 04:04:37 · answer #7 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep it up and your worst nightmare will come true. STOP your nagging and accusing. All his answers are logical and he has done nothing to make your radar go up. Be a loving wife and not the old nag you have become...
2007-09-20 04:03:41 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to trust your husband more. He works at a restaurant and if I went out to eat somewhere and the people where unshaven and smelly I wouldn't eat there....sorry his dad is right. If nothing has changed at home and he hasn't changed then you are jumping at straws. You will end up pushing him away....
2007-09-20 04:01:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't start putting thoughts he may not even have, in his head. Sounds to me like you're just being paranoid, relax. Don't nag, smile, be happy that you're having sex everyday.
2007-09-20 04:12:00 · answer #10 · answered by MiaMonique 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch it.My ex worked in a restaurant and he started doing all that.It 's an affair waiting to happen sounds to me.I'm speaking only from my exsperience.
2007-09-20 04:13:13 · answer #11 · answered by lollypop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋