My husband (soon to be ex--divorce schedule is 3 weeks away) left me 2 mos. ago for a woman he met online for sex. All of my friends and family keep telling me that both of them did me a huge favor and that this is actually a blessing in disguise. Also friends keep telling me to be glad they found each other. I don't know what everyone means. I keep hearing it over and over again from everyone. Right now, I'm picking up pieces of my shattered heart while this @sshole loser is "so happy" with his new life. I am working on healing myself right now and I'm not ready to go jump in some rebound relationship. I was nothing but a good, caring, loyal wife to this man for 8 years. I deserve some good karma. Hopefully what comes around will go around for these two morally-deficient low lifes.
2007-09-20 03:48:06 · 24 answers · asked by texas_redlips 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband seems happy now with his new woman but I guarantee you that his "happiness" will be short lived. In a relationship like his there is no foundation, and as soon as the infatuation/lust/in-love stage is over he will most likely be miserable and unhappy. Don't compare his happiness with yours. You will most likely be the one who will be the happiest in the long run. That's what your family and friends mean by "blessing in disguise."
Think of it this way-- your husband right now is off in La-La Land, where he thinks his new woman is the answer to all his problems, when in reality she is actually contributing to his problems and will make his situation even worse. Whereas YOUR feet are still planted firmly on the ground. You were the one who was faithful, loving, loyal, and caring during your 8 years of marriage, so you will be the one who will most likely succeed in the love department. You can probably see things that he can't see. You will most likely learn from your mistakes and find someone else who will be better for you in the long run.
My advice to you would be not to give up hope. Take some time out for yourself and rediscover who you are. When you feel ready, start dating again. Make a list of qualities you like in a mate and figure out what to watch out for, and above all else stay positve and optimistic.
You deserve better than what your husband put you through. You deserve a happy life and happy marriage, and I gaurantee that because you were the more loving and loyal spouse that you will be a perfect wife to someone who wants somebody exactly like you. There are good guys out there, too. Not all guys are jerks.
2007-09-20 04:23:50 · answer #1 · answered by Laughing_Chick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-05 21:09:02 · answer #2 · answered by Grover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your family and friends are right, if this man cared so much about you he would not have done this to you. It definitely was a blessing in disguise. It's going to be hard since you were together for so long, at least there weren't children involved I'm guessing so that is a good thing. You are right don't jump into a relationship right now, you need time to get yourself together, and look at the brighter side of things like getting a new place and decorating it. hanging with your friends. enjoying life. Don't think of this as a disaster think of it as a second chance at life to find that Mr. right even if it is a year or 2 from now who cares. Celebrate you. you know how wonderful you are and how you can bring this to someone else! you are not the only one thats going through this in this world! Enjoy your single self for a bit and don't dwell on him. There are many men out there and that guy was one of the losers that thankfully is kicked to the curb and he will one day do this to that woman. Celebrate you girl!!!
2007-09-20 04:08:39 · answer #3 · answered by rhilex1982 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 8 years of marriage to you he was not truly committed and that tells you everything about his heartless character. This is why so many marriages fall apart when a spouse gets on-line and starts checking out the meat market to cheat! Modern technology makes it so simple for a married spouse to pick up on all those vulnerable people out there starving for attention and many could care less if they are married or not! Your ex husband has some very severe issues with his own life and he will not find an answer to them with the idiot he pulled out of this computer screen. Now this loser can deal with his screwed up problems because when your shattered heart gets over the shock you will be open for a real man to be in your life. You can count on one thing here and that is nothing good for either one these two will ever turn out right. Your ex isn't right .....so its only a matter of time.
2007-09-20 05:00:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow...Let me start off by expressing my concern over a broken-heart.(big hug to you).
I thought I was reading my life pertaining to my 1st fiancee. We were together for 6 years or so and he did the EXACT same thing!! I did not have a divorce to go thru just the heartbreak.
I am thinking that what your friends mean is be thankful that it happened now and that you DID find out about this, instead of being 8 more years into this marriage and then learning that he was this way all along.
It will take time to pick up the pieces and move on. Please keep in mind that he could call you in the future and want to get back with you when it don't work out for him and the new girlfriend. He was in a comfort zone with you and he will start to miss that over time. Be strong and stand your ground. You deserve to be happy but yet at the save time you deserve some who will be loyal to you.
Did you have kids with his man? I do wish you the best of luck!! Keep your head up, be strong, be honest, and be proud!!
Take Care and Best Wishes
(Big Hug)
2007-09-20 05:23:16 · answer #5 · answered by blondieoftexas 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do deserve good karma, I think that what everyone means by the deserve is each is: If he was was stupid and untrue enough to leave you for online sex, He is no better than the tram* that wanted him to leave you. Dont worry he will get what he deserves in the end. He met her through online sex chat? Wonder if she will find her next man there too?
Enjoy your life, You are only here once. Go out have a good time. Get your nails, buy that lil black dress and let the guys dine and wine you. Then in five years look and see that he is living in a trailer not fit for a dog begging you back . Thats when it's fun!
2007-09-20 03:55:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish it was easier to say than " you are better off without him" Only your friends and family know the "truth" of your ex husband and maybe they are right. Maybe they knew something that you hadnt for a long time and they still feel that you need time to heal before they tell you what they are really feeling. Unfortunatly, for you now its going to be tough. Especially since you invested 8 years of your life to a man that is only devoted to his own needs. As for the new girl...homewreckers will get what they deserve. Its not nice but this world is full of them. Take the time to heal and know that you have many people that care and love you. Life doesn't stop with men! LoL Very goodluck and Take care <3 Tab
2007-09-20 03:54:05 · answer #7 · answered by jzbebegyrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It hurts now. And will for awhile. Allow yourself time to get over it and you will find yourself getting over it. Your feelings will vary at times. If he is willing to cheat once. he will do it again.
Dont depend on karma cuz it always isnt there but just work on making your life as good as you can. Best revenge is to live well.
Experiance. Ex cheated for years...havent seen her in over six years. I have the kids, get no child support and have struggled. And I know I got by far the better deal. Kids are happy and almost human (they are teenagers), she missed out on so many things. I still get a bit pissy about it (she ran away with BF to start a new life) during the worst times ( and it is my bad times which in the real scheme of things isnt all that bad) but not having her around is worth it. And I am far happier without her than I would be with her. Dont care about Karma, just care about the kids and yourself.
2007-09-20 04:01:14 · answer #8 · answered by Bob D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel really bad that you had to endure that sort of heart ach. I can understand why everyone is saying what they are, because they dont want you to get discouraged, due to an incompatient male.
Let them be with eachother, that doesnt mean you have to be happy about it. Just try and keep yourself busy doing other things, things you like to do. I'm sorry I cant be more helpful. Time doesn't heal all wounds, but eventually you'll be able to look back, and forget the hurt. The good memories will never die.
2007-09-20 03:52:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Blessing in disguise ... aka.. you are going to move on and have a happy life-does not seem like it now-- but YOU ARE! that is what they mean..you got rid of the trash - that is a blessing in disguise.
as for.. a huge favor - I wouldn't exactly put it that way - but, just remember one thing - they screwed you over - and they met online- sure things are fine and dandy- and happy as could be - but, wait until one of them does what they did to YOU ... to each other...... which, mostly likely will happen....what goes around comes around - once a cheater, always a cheater.
The best revenge that you can do- is most likely not what you think - but, it is to be happy- and show him and her how much more happy you are.......Would they rather see you down in the dumps... or - happy ... i'd say down in the dumps.. so, be the opposite.
2007-09-20 03:54:39 · answer #10 · answered by ★★★ Katharine ♥♥♥♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋