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Alright, I am 31 pregnant with baby #2. My first is only 9 months old right now. No one has offered to throw me a baby shower and I don't expect anyone to since they are so close together. They are also both boys. But, there are things that we still need. Would it be in bad form to throw our our baby shower? I was thinking of maybe just having a cookout and have people bring diapers..I guess like a diaper shower or something. Would that be to tacky to do? Or should I just ask like my Mother-in-Law to do it? I just don't want to seem like I am asking for to much.

2007-09-20 03:33:38 · 31 answers · asked by williamsmom2186 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting Pregnancy

31 answers

actually it is not good etiquette to have a baby shower after the first child but it is still done all the time. to throw your own is in extremely bad taste. most of your friends and family will bring your new baby a gift when they visit the first time. supplying the things you need are not anyones responsibility but your own. you can still hint around to your m-i-l that you are hoping for a shower and if she wants to do it she will take the hint and do it herself.

2007-09-20 03:41:40 · answer #1 · answered by jezbnme 6 · 2 0

In what rule book does it say "only one shower".

I personally would feel very uncomfortable throwing my own. And the diaper thing i think is a little tacky.

However, i think there is nothing wrong with having a celebration barbeque for a new baby. Since when is it wrong to celebrate a birth??

If I had a baby shower and then got pregnant again, and my friend wanted to throw one, would I say, "NO!!"

No, I would graciously accept it and say thank you.

I think this whole idea of "only one baby shower" is ridiculous. It's like saying that the second or third baby isn't as important.

Whatever, have 10 baby showers if you want, just don't throw it yourself.

If you end up not having one, it's ok, you will be fine.

God Bless

2007-09-20 13:20:05 · answer #2 · answered by BlueBlue 4 · 0 0

I dont see anything wrong with a diaper shower, LOADS of people have diaper showers for their second baby. And alot of times if you have a diaper shower there will be a few people that might ask if there is anything that you need seeing as your first is 9 months so im sure there are probably some things you mightve gotten rid of already. I dont see anything wrong with it. What i do see wrong are the rude and inconsiderate people on here that are making you seem like a bad person for having another baby so soon. Its your life if you want to have another baby thats your business, who are they to judge?

2007-09-20 10:47:13 · answer #3 · answered by sugarplumfaerie52686 4 · 0 1

If you throw a diaper shower, then all you'll get are diapers. I think that's sort of tacky. If I got an invite like that, part of me would wonder how these people are going to take care of the kid if they can't afford diapers. That said, I'm not suggesting you can't take care of your kids, I'm just saying that would be my first thought. Don't outright ask for a baby shower, just casually mention to your mother in law, "You'd think after having one baby I'd have everything I need, but I still need _____________." She may spring for whatever you need or she might arrange a shower.

2007-09-20 10:39:12 · answer #4 · answered by Sit'nTeach'nNanny 7 · 2 1

Well, for the people that answered...at no point did this woman say that she couldn't afford anything. She simply stated that there were things that were needed. Secondly, remember to take anyones criticism and cut it in half. People that don't have to look you in the eye find it easier to be rude and snide.
Who cares if its mildly tacky??? As long as you get what you need for your babies, who cares. How far along are you? Maybe no one has mentioned a shower because its too early, or there still swooning over baby number one. Either way, only you can decide what is best.

2007-09-20 10:54:23 · answer #5 · answered by Third_Eye_Dude 2 · 0 0

I'm in a similar situation. This is my third pregnancy (I lost my second one) and my son is 18 months old. Though I don't know the sex yet, we too are in need of quite a few things like diapers, bottles, etc. I don't see anything wrong with a celebration type party for the baby. A diaper shower should be plenty reasonable. It's not like you are asking for everything all over again. If you wanted to just ask your mother in law to host it or maybe get your husband to.

2007-09-20 10:41:32 · answer #6 · answered by . 5 · 1 1

Just don't call it a baby shower and don't make it formal. I think a bbq is a great idea and as long as you don't expect your family and friends to go all out, i think its ok. Although, I think a much classier idea is to have the party/bbq AFTER the 2nd baby is born, and this is socially acceptable. Give people a chance to visit your newborn, rather than your preggo self which you and them have already seen enough of by now..lol.. Most people that will visit you after the baby is born almost always bring a gift anyway no matter that it is baby #2.

2007-09-20 11:32:10 · answer #7 · answered by teacup 2 · 0 0

Typically, you only get one shower thrown for you. But, you can have a party to celebrate the upcoming additon to your family. I would send out invitations and indicate that it's a diaper party. For this one, I would encourage everyone to bring their significant other's and their children. Treat it as an event to celebrate family. Cook out would be great. That opens the door to have outdoor fun activities for the kids. Have a mens diaper changing contest. Take the focus away from gifts by saying that it's optional.
A good second that is rapidly gaining steam is a Welcome to the world party for the Baby. The downfall to that is what Mom really wants to have such a party following having a baby. For that, it would be apropriate to ask someone to put together for you. And like to first suggestion, make it more of a celebration of family.
My preferance, Welcome the Baby party.

2007-09-20 10:48:59 · answer #8 · answered by Carol T 4 · 0 0

Yes it is tacky...I believe the proper ettiquette is to only have a second one if the kids are more than 5 yrs apart or different genders. Also, give your friends and family the benefit of the doubt. How do you know someone's not planning a surprise welcoming shower for after the baby is born? People understand how hard it is to have two children close together and from what I've seen usually will do for someone they care about. Of course, you could always try and drop subtle hints or maybe get your husband to bring it up to his mom. Nobody expects men to know pregnancy ettiquette anyway, so they won't be offended if he were to bring it up.

2007-09-20 10:40:24 · answer #9 · answered by klance05 3 · 2 1

Well I hate to say it but that would be VERY TACKY! I liked the first idea, wait until the baby is born and then have meet and greet and ask people to bring diapers or formula or something that you are needing to help out.
Or, like one other said, if your friends ask then thell them you need diapers.
It would be like double dipping to do another shower. Sorry Hun!
Good Luck

2007-09-20 10:45:45 · answer #10 · answered by Kyler's Mom 3 · 0 1

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