i have came cleam with my husband and things are rocky right now because he is hurt i have offered to leave him with everything to the point i was feeling so bad and seeked help but all that said i still love the other person ...please do not judge me this is a very difficult sittuation
2007-09-20 03:32:37 · 24 answers · asked by tweetysbabe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You really got yourself into something that is painful indeed. It is a no win situation. You at least came clean and told your husband, and now he is suffering because of it. I do not know what occurred in your marriage to have you go out and seek love with a married man, whatever it is, I am sure you are seeing now that he is not going to leave his wife. We all make mistakes, it is good you are trying to make good of yours, but you first have to learn by your mistakes in order to not repeat them. I feel you and your husband would benefit from counselling, if not to save the marriage, but to at least find closure from all of this. I do hope you are able to move on from being with this married man and do what you know is right. Best of luck to you!
2007-09-20 03:39:26 · answer #1 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have been in your shoes. I left my husband and moved into a house alone. I needed time to sort through all those emotions and figure out what I needed to do. I loved the other man too. It took me a while to realize that he did not love me back though. Ask yourself these questions...Did he come clean too? Does he want to leave his family for you? Who started this, did he? The bottom line is he started this, has not come clean or will not and has no intention of leaving his family then he does not love you back. If he did things differently than I described then you guys may have a chance.
Just do yourself a favor and spend some time alone to sort out your feelings and see what you really want and need right now. Don't make any rash decisions. You can email me and I will help you if you want. I know how hard it is.
2007-09-20 04:38:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your actions make it difficult for not judging you. If you expect sympthy here because you came clean, then you are definitely in the wrong place. Marriage counseling may buy you a few years, but eventually this train will wreck. It will take a lot of courage to see your spouse every day and love her knowing that s/he has sleeped with someone else. You still have feeling for the other man, so file for divorce and move on.
2007-09-20 03:45:45 · answer #3 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
relationships are like sparkling, shiny but fragile wine glass. no matter how long we've been with someone, no matter how strong you think the bond is, one bump is all it takes for the glass to shatter.
you've had a pretty big bump.
what your husband wants to hear is not your offer to leave him. he wants to hear that you're recommitted to him and that you'll never be in contact with that other guy... yes, the one you still love, and the chances are that other guy, you can't have, no matter how hard you tried.
your husband is either very forgiving, very loving (you), or he has no b@lls. if he has any respect for himself(which he doesn't and that's the exact reason why you fell in love with this other guy), you'd be out on the street.
some things are not fixable.
if you two decide to stay together, hold on to that wine glass really tight. there's gonna be a lot of bumps.
2007-09-20 03:43:58 · answer #4 · answered by James 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are doing a dis-service to your husband and your co-conspirator's wife. You both need to decide what it is you want and go from there. If you do not love and respect your husband enough to be faithful, then he can do better elsewhere. You choose to dishonor your wedding vowels and any promises you give at this point should be taken with a grain of salt.
My advice is to grow up, and decide what it is you want, then choose how you should get there. You can not continue to hurt innocent people for your own self satisfaction.
Remember every action causes a re-action. Good Luck...
2007-09-20 03:46:37 · answer #5 · answered by mipegg 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is not easy to see one's situation, without ever judging the person.
But here's some pointers:
One, you've decided to come clean with your husband.
Two, work on your relationship.
Three, look for bible scriptures to help you and your husband get through this rough patch in your lives.
Four, Pray, remember God hears whatever you say, and HE answers prayers - not in the way you expect, but always in HIS time.
Five, God will give you the strength to move on and forget about the other guy. Believe you me, it is hard and painful, but walking together (you and your husband) with God, will heal the wounds in your hearts....
It's true that trust must be rebuilt, it will be hard, always hanging in your husband's head that you've cheated before... But if you trust your life to God, He will take care of each detail...
God bless your marriage....
2007-09-20 04:29:37 · answer #6 · answered by Ey18 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a commitment of fidelity. this commitment has been broken. In my eyes the marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper now and should be burned. there is no reason to stay legally connected to a man you have publicly humiliated. As for your husband, i feel sad for him, he gave you his everything and you threw it away for what? I hope he is OK and gets the support he needs. maybe he will find a real woman. As for you I suggest getting some professional counseling so this does not happen to you again. Love is hard but it is a Choice. Good Luck.
2007-09-20 03:42:42 · answer #7 · answered by yellowcloudwoman 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why would anyone get on here and tell the world about their slumming around with another married person?Two family's destroyed and we are supposed to clap our hands because you were honest with your husband,GEEZ. WHat is this world coming to?To start with everyone else may praise you for your honesty,But I think you stink,no morals,no respect,you are a low life.Leave your husband and let him get his own life,maybe to someone who will appreciate him.You will never work things out because you in your own admission said you still love your lover,and your husband will always have that sense of doubt in him.Now I bet your lover don't leave his wife,and if he did could you trust him later,or him trust you?Sex is all the things on his or your mind,go jump off a bridge!
2007-09-20 03:57:53 · answer #8 · answered by ronald m 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
That is a crappy thing to do to your husband. How do you fall in love with someone else when you are married and shouldn't even be looking?!? You should just walk out the door with the clothes on your back and never look back. Believe me, he will get over you. You disgust me! Can't help but judge you when you hurt someone who loved you. LEAVE!
2007-09-20 03:47:29 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
well ur asking for opinions right? well here goes, theres nothing really to justify an affair.
ur hubby loves you, but if u cant love him back then why stay together. ur only going to hurt him more.
talk to ur hubby, let him know its over. but NEVER leave a person for another person fort this can bring regret, and at times when the cheating spouse wants to come back its too late.
luck to ya!
2007-09-20 03:41:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋