My husband is getting on my nerves all he does is yell and push me, im almost 6 months pregnant! he gets mad at everything, he calls me names most of the time, he always talks about my family being stupid, and yesterday i said his was he went off on me im only 20 yrs old and i can't take it anymore what should i do we have been together for 5 yrs and he has changed i don't understand
2007-09-20 02:30:26 · 50 answers · asked by tiffany t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i don't know how to leave? how would i? im so scared of him now, everytime one of my family members call me i want cry b/c they dont know what do i do?
2007-09-20 02:52:21 · update #1
we just got married in june ive been with him since i was a freshman in highschool. i tell him to stop calling me names and pushing me it doesnt work, he said he was gonna threaten to kill my dog thats still at my parents house and my parents told me if he ever hits me to come home but i don't know how he has a temper and gets mad all the time, he curses almost all day at anything or everything HELP
2007-09-20 03:12:59 · update #2
last night he pushed me into the wall then he said well i didn't push you in your stomach he called me a whore, fat ***, *****, everything! i can't take it anymore he makes me cry way too much i want out but i don't know how to get out
2007-09-20 03:29:09 · update #3
you get out by walking out! in fact i think you should call the police and file assault charges, you have an obligation toward your unborn child, this is going to get worse and worse and quickly
take action now go back to your parents
something
or pretty soon your going to find yourself in the casualty ward
2007-09-26 23:27:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's angry because you're pregnant. The responsibilities of raising a child may be too much for him. It may also be that he wants out of the marriage but is too much of a coward to say so. In your condition, you cannot deal with such abuse. You should get a way from this man--at least for now. If you can stay with your parents for a while, you would be wise to do so. Don't get into an argument with him about this. Talk to your parents, and if they are willing to have you come home, wait until your husband has gone to work, pack a few things and leave. Don't be ashamed to ask them. At this point, you have to do what is best for you and your baby.
When he discovers you are gone, he'll contact you. When he does, tell him that you can't take his abuse anymore. Let him know that his mistreatment of you is effecting your health and the health of your unborn child (which it is). Don't argue with him. If he starts disrespecting you and calling you names, hang up the phone. This man knows your parents don't care for him, which is why he 's always calling them stupid. Most likely, your parents know that he is not the best choice for you. Furthermore, a man who disrespects you by yelling and pushing you around is exhibiting anger, not love. Whatever he's angry about is his problem. You'll have to decide if you want to stay married to him, once the baby is born.
2007-09-20 02:57:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents told you to come home if anything like this ever happened and you aren't taking them up on that offer? Hey, that is the best option you have!
Don't even tell your husband. He sounds violent and vengeful. Just move as quickly as you can and rely on your parents to shelter and protect you until you can take the next step, which most likely will be filing for divorce.
Your husband is doing these things at a time when you are pregnant and most vulnerable and you have to protect yourself and your baby. It sounds to me like he wants this marriage to be over and he doesn't want to be a parent. You have to give him 'space' by getting as far away from him as you can. Because he could kill you and your baby!
Your parents will know what to do. I'm assuming they would not hesitate to react to any threats by involving the police and facing your husband in a court of law. I'm assuming he's not a total idiot and he could figure that out.
That means that you should never trust him not to try to hurt you but with your parents willing to protect you, he will think differently about how he will do it. Again, don't trust him. He has changed, you say. Maybe there are drugs involved in that change. But whatever is changing him, he has to hit bottom and lose you and his family (including his baby) in order to know that things are so bad he has to change.
Anyone who would threaten to kill a dog has a bullying streak and should be reminded that he could go to jail for things like that too.
Leave now. Don't think about second chances. Your baby may never get a first or a second chance.
2007-09-26 20:18:21 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave him as soon as possible it's only gonna get worse he may start beating you or worse if you stay. I would go to my families house or a firiends house an call the police if he threatens you. I would also get a restraining order on him if he bothers you, because you have to protect yourself an your unborn child. My advice is leave him an not be scared there are many places out there that can help you with this problem. Get out as soon as possible you can get help. Please for the saftey of yourself an your baby. Let me know if I can be of anymore help. Let me know what happens. Also I would like to add that is considered abuse not only physically but verbally as well the name calling an pushing what happens if he pushes you so hard you fall an lose the baby? It's only goona get worse especially if he is on drugs of some sort or even alcohol can have this affect..
2007-09-27 07:57:12 · answer #4 · answered by becky c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok first of all you need to get out of that situationa and go stay with your family . get your stuff while hes not there and go. Then tell him until he gets help your not going back. Once that stuff starts it doesn't end so you need to put an end to it now. I know i know but i love him the baby but thats what you need to be thinking of that baby. The stress and physical abuse hes putting you in can and will effect the baby. Stress does affect the baby it could put you into premature labor or cause many other things to go wrong. Stay with your family do you go to college or have you. I would suggest you go back, finish or start going and get a degree and a good job whether it works out for you or not you will have a degree and a good job to support that baby. You are young but not younger than most out there with a baby i was 16....anyway take it from me i am 32 i work full time I go to college and i am currently taking 5 classes and going on my second year and I am a single mom with four kids. You can go to college and change your life and if he doesn't want to get help for his anger issues your better off without him. you are young and you have a new life you will be responsible for and you need to really think about this man and if he is worth your childs emotional well being. Good luck hun you can do it be strong for your baby and yourself
2007-09-20 03:50:17 · answer #5 · answered by youcandoit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,I myself lived in an abusive marriage from the age of 18 till i was 29,I was always scared to tell anyone what was going on in my marriage because the risk of being alone and him always telling me you will never find anyone else you will be by yourself to the end of time.And he would change for a short period and I would think that he would not do it again and guess what he always would and it would be worse the next time,and he would make threats that if you leave you would regret it.
One time it got really bad and his cousin was over and he got mad at something that was so minor and he took and pushed me into the refrigator and then grabbed me and started to choke me and if not for his cousin I would of been dead and I still continued to live in that and another time he pulled a gun on me and yes I stayed because of the fear of being alone.
But when I was 29 I got to the point that I could not handle anymore and I told him to leave and girl that was the best thing that I ever did cause now I am married to a wonderful man who is so loving and I have 2 beautiful children.And I do not have to live like that ever again .
Take it from someone who knows from experience there is more to life then that abuse because it will only get worse if you stay and if you stay your kids will see the life you live and they will live that same way when they get older
2007-09-20 03:18:44 · answer #6 · answered by randbstrickland 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello...
I really hate to tell you this... but most abuse begins during pregnancy...
It's a terrible situation for you...and it is really really stressful to be in this predicament now of all times!
You are not the first to go through this...and suspect you won't be the last.
Firstly, you need to understand it is not you! You do not deserve to be treated and abused in this manner.... it is abuse... sorry.
Secondly... this is a typical pattern.. the signs are all there. and I need to warn you that it will only worsen! It's manipulative and wrong!
-telling you over and over that your family is stupid... leads to segregate you away from your family... which makes it easy for him to control you
-he is putting you down...name calling... lowers your self esteem and self worth and ultimately your limits options
-your pregnant...
-pushing you is violence...and you being pregnant is dangerous to your child
Now here is the deal...you can hope he changes and hope he is undergoing a stressful situation to justify his behaviour or you can do what is necessary now to look after you and your child.
Seek help.... your not alone... there is a crisis line almost anywhere (goes to show how big this problem is if there are these services) and get advice.
Now you know what to do... question is...will you take the first step?.Most women stay in an abusive relationship for many reasons... don't end up a statistic...make a change for the future. It is hard and I know it won't be easy but that is the only thing you can control...you! You cannot make him change...however if you show him you will not allow this abuse, maybe this will be a wake up call for him to seek help for his abusive behaviour. Remember... you only get what you allow.
Good luck to you....
2007-09-20 02:51:19 · answer #7 · answered by Say 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You started dating this guy at 15? Don't expect a life long relationship with him. Sorry to say that, but these relationships never last. You have lost your youth and you are only 20, expecting a baby. At your two's ages you are still growing and maturing. There is bound to be changes in behavior and personality. At any age...there is no reason for that treatment. Please don't waste any more of your life with a jerk who treats you the way that he does. There is no good excuse for it. Sounds like he is also becoming controlling. That is one big, scary thing! If he is pushing you now (especially when you are pregnant), he will continue until it becomes hitting...then what? If you don't get out now.....you are doomed to a life of misery for you and that baby. You can do it on your own and you will eventually find a man who will respect you and love your child. Hope this helps.
2007-09-20 02:40:20 · answer #8 · answered by Paula D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off let me say that you do NOT deserve this... for some reason you BELIEVE that you do.... not because you've been with this *** for 5+ years means that you should put up with this crap... you may be married to him but you don't have to stay with him, he sounds like an immature child... one ting you should consider is do you want this kind of influence for your child? If he does this to you then what do you think is going to happen to the baby? You should walk to the nearest police station and get a restraining order then go straight to your parents' house... you don't need to tell them everything right away, just say you need to stay there for a few days/weeks until you get some money to get your own place... and only stay at your parent's place for a few days because he will come looking for you there... try going to some relatives place that he wouldn't think of, then you would be safe until you have the baby... after that apply for child support... you CAN stand on your own two feet... you just need the confidence to do so... I will be praying for you... you and your baby come first NOT your husband's feelings
2007-09-27 10:06:09 · answer #9 · answered by antoinette m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are living with a control freak. He is enjoying power, You have a family that needs to know about this situation. The problem is when you do decide to leave him, and you will,because it is the right thing to do for you and your baby, you are going to have to have some therapy.
As much as your family wants you to come home and help you, you will be right back in the same situation with him or another. Do not wait time is crucial. Look at the BIG picture where will you be in 5 years. God loves you.
2007-09-27 12:33:38 · answer #10 · answered by babysister 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
o boy. Well for starters- No One should ever push you or verbally abuse you in any way shape or form. This is an unhealthy relationship- for you and for your baby. I would stay at someone in your family's house or a close friend- there you will have time to think and calm down- someone there should listen to you, give advice and come to a desicion. I have been in this position before and the best thing for me was to get out of the realtionship. If he is acting like this- he will not change. Trust me on that. You have to do what's right for you and the baby- not for him. This question makes me really concerned- you need to get out of that house and go somewhere you feel safe. Think it over and make the right decision. Please keep me updated- i'm really concerned about you
2007-09-20 02:41:46 · answer #11 · answered by mynxnyc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋