he steals from me every chance he gets i am behind on bills and i am raising 9 kids 2 i adopted three are his and three from my previous marriage. i work ft and take care of him i needed him around for his 25 dollar an hour job that he lost because of smokeing crack i know i should leave or make him leave and i do but he comes back and i fall into the trap and he steals everychance he gets he cant stay clean a week i need help just letting go any suggestions i need to know how to stay strong and keep him away from me...... i have no support my family is in another state but i have a job i love and dont want to move..... i have a proterction order against him but i cave in
2007-09-20 01:31:49 · 18 answers · asked by mom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you have a protection order and you cave in, then this is your fault. You are setting a terrible example for these children. You are letting them know that what he does is OK.
Stop whining and complaining. You need to step up and be responsible. Practice this word....NO! Call the police the next time you hear from him.
Take you hand, place on your back. Do you feel those bumps in the center of your back? It's called a backbone!
2007-09-20 01:42:14 · answer #1 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You need to leave him once and for all. I know it seems nearly impossible- but it's whats best for you AND your kids! He is obviously not a positive role model for the children, so do you really want him around them so they can see him stealing and doing drugs? You need to get in contact with some sort of support group if you don't think you can do it on your own. Personally- I would just up and leave. It would be incredibly hard to leave everything behind, but it's even worse to stay in the environment you are in right now. I really hope everything works out for you and your family. Good luck!
2007-09-20 01:45:04 · answer #2 · answered by KnottyJ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sweetheart, I had a man like that once, thank God we never got married! You are working full time and taking care of him and all those kids??? get a place of your own with all those kids, keep him away from you and put as much distance between you as you can. Also, get Support orders for all those kids, apply for food stamps and wic if you need to for now. It will be better off in the longrun for you and your kids, you don't want them growing up seeing their mom allowing this type of behavior to go on in their lives, they will do the same things in their own lives thinking it is normal if that is what you teach them! There is always help, you just have to ask, but not HIM!! Good luck and May God Bless You
2007-09-20 01:47:04 · answer #3 · answered by chefddr 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh girl i just went though the same thing . I was with my X for 15 years and the last 6 years of it he got hooked on crack it was so hard . He also lost his job and started stilling not just from me and my childeren but my family too. Then we started fighting worse when i say fighting I mean knock down drag out . I'm a strong person. I became depressed and my self-esteem hit an all time low I felt helpless against this drug and did every thing in my power to try and help him . This drug has no mercey Nothing i did helped . It made me fell competly out of control and it got so bad i just lost it after one of our fist fights I looked down and seen a bottle of pills in his shirt pocket . I grabed them and told him let me show you how to to drugs you chicken **** and i ate the hole bottle it was 48 zanax bars I died 3 times that night at the hospital . when i woke up a few days later I could'nt belive what I had done but belive me i was glad to be alive . If he wants to live his life this way you can't change him . The great guy you once knew is gone and you can't fix it . Thats the first thing you have to relise. Next you have to get out before it takes you down too . If this has been going on long your already thinking of suiside the only thing that keeps you from it is your childeren . If not its coming and it will get worse. Just get out nothing els matters not materal things nothing. I left with one bag of clothes and my truck He will hold you back too woundering what he's doing why you are at work I even lost a job because of that. Stay strong and dont give in If your lonly find a friend But Do'nt give in. If you need a friend to talk to I know I did fell free to IM me . My spelling sucks I know lol. My ID is daddysrose37 just her NO ONE ELS PLEASE !
2007-09-20 03:08:24 · answer #4 · answered by Rose 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since you keep choosing to take him back, nothing we say will have any impact. We could say stop all contact with him, but you must love the way he treats you or you'd actually do what you know to do. You have a restraining order against him. Do you realize you both could go to jail for violating that order or the cops could find a joint in your home, even if it isn't yours, you can get arrested for it. Then all of your kids would be placed in foster care. Why does this not scare you straight?
My next bit of advice is no more dating until your kids are all adults since your choices in men leave a lot to be desired.
2007-09-20 01:46:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
i'm sorry but i have read ur question a few times and can't see the 9 kids, the most i can come up with is 8. are u sure u aren't smoking the crack a little urself and just see another child running around the house.
2007-09-20 02:37:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Someone who is high can't be trusted to help take care of the kids and since he is a money hole instead of a money source (also emotional hole instead of support source), I can't understand why you cave in and let him near the family. It sounds like you would have more money if he kept is 90 or 300 feet distance.
Turn him into the police first chance you get. That way he can't come steal from you and you can't call him back when he is in jail.
Read your own question everyday until it sinks in.
2007-09-20 01:43:14 · answer #7 · answered by Sway 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You already know the answer to this question. The problem is you have to stick to your decision next time you make him leave. If you can't do it for yourself at least do it for your children who don't need to be around a crackhead. Seriously what is more important to you? Him or your children? Everytime you allow him to come back what kind of example are you setting for your children, what message are you sending them? This is especially important to think about if you have any daughters!
You have to get the strength from somewhere, so if it isn't inside you draw it from your children, not saying you should put the stress of your weakness on them, don't tell them to help you stay away from him, but just keep them in mind first, forget about what you want at the moment and put your children first. everytime he comes begging to get back tell yourself "No this isn't good for my kids, I won't put them through this anymore"
2007-09-20 01:46:47 · answer #8 · answered by sheena t 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just think of it this way.He is taking money from the children and he is hurting them as well as you. Your children cannot have this man around, they need a roll model not a worthless drug addict. You are hurting your own children .Throw this man out and don't let him back . Just keep on thinking of your children's welfare ,that should give you the strength to overcome this dilemma.Good luck.
2007-09-20 02:00:12 · answer #9 · answered by Julius C 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get all the support you can from a women's support organization ( look up abuse hotlines etc.) as this can make you feel insane and surreal. For the sake of your children and your self. YOU MUST GET HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE. Addiction is a very self-centered disorder and you will pay the price for his abuse and so will the children.
2007-09-20 01:46:33 · answer #10 · answered by Mina M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋