I just woke up again thinkng of my ex. We have been separated for over a year now and getting divorced. I can't stop thinking of how he made me feel. The moments we had, our wedding, the way I felt when he looked at me. Everything. We had a relationship many envied us for. I loved him so deeply and woke up every morning thinking how lucky I was. He was wonderful to me until the last moment and lost it. It was finanial trouble that forced us to end it. I have a bf now who treats me like a princess. He loves me and will do anything for me. He doesn't deserve this. I feel intense guilt. I don't want my ex back as we both moved on and so much damage has been done but I just want to forget him and love my bf the way I once loved my ex. Please help. Thanks.
2007-09-19 21:52:56 · 14 answers · asked by Acid 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
dear friend ..there is no explain for our feeling to smbd ..smt u ll feel without any reason ..maybe u had a chance for 100000 better than the One ..but hes the one ....sudny u ll find urself in suche deep feeling and u dont know why and how it happened ?! thats the magic of life ,life ...but lets put it in this way most of the ppl will not gonna get a chance to experiance suche moment and feeling ..they wont get a chance to meet their right but u DID ..so just keep it as a nice memory as a part of the life then later on u can say ' Oh yes I had that suche moments suche memories'
now live at the moment ..love ur bf as he do love u and let your feeling go :) its another day
2007-09-19 22:05:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The sad reality is that you will never love your bf like you loved your ex. Deep down you know this is true.
I promise you that one day your feelings for you ex will die but one year is not THAT long really. It can take longer but they will die. If you have moved on then the only real problem is your current bf.
You have two choices. Accept the lesser secure love and caring you have for your bf. Or end it and look for someone who makes you feel like your ex.
Its a big gamble that you will find a new guy that feels the same way about you.
Its not so bad to have someone who loves you even if it doesn't hit the heights. It can feel more real in many ways than the thunderbolt feeling. Although you only get one shot at life and perhaps he deserves more.
Its an age old dilemma so remember you are not alone on this one. The problem is if you fall for someone while you are with him then it will break his heart to see you go. Then he is in the same situation as you were.
Why is it so complicated.........? I have always wondered.
At the end of the day you have to make a choice. Its a straight 50/50. Either option is ok. Dont let anyone tell you different.
Take care x
2007-09-19 22:10:42 · answer #2 · answered by GMonkey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it time babes. What you are feeling is quite normal so don't beat yourself up about it. A divorce is as bad as a bereavement and both take at LEAST 3 years before you regain any sort of equilibrium. Don't go marrying this nice boyfriend yet will you. It would be doing him a big disservice. Your marriage wasn't all bad and you have to take time to remember the good times. Remember the bad times too. Hopefully you aren't actually seeing your ex. If you can avoid him then do so because seeing him will make it all much harder for you. Don't even think of going back with him. It's a failed relationship and would fail again. Maybe, a long time in the future, you will be able to see eachother and be friends again, but not at the moment or for a good few years yet.
2007-09-19 22:16:54 · answer #3 · answered by chris n 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is such a hard situation to be in. I feel for you as im going through the same thing. Ex that was great but made the one dreaded mistake.. then the bf that you cant feel the same about no matter how hard you want to. Im coming to realize you cant force love. U cant change it. Currently im not with either. It wasnt fair on my bf to be having these feelings for my ex. I got back into contact with my ex after no contact for 8 mnths. I catching up with both of them once a week. Just going out and having fun.. movies and dinner that sort. Then i plan to distance myself and sit down and think hard. With one i get the crazy love butterflies, the total head over heels love. Unpredictable and passionate.
The other i get the comfy safe happy feeling. The feeling of being able to share everything. Its hard and no one else can make the dicision for you. It is not wrong to have these feelings. But it is wrong to stay with a person when your heart is not fully with them. They deserve more than that as do you.
I hope thia helps.. proberly not its heart breaking isnt it?? :) But you will be happy just dont ruch into your decision.
2007-09-19 22:03:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was a part of your life for 4 years. So that means you have a history with him. You must have cared for him deeply to have stayed with him so long,by the way, I am glad you are finally out of it. But I will tell you what you really don't want to hear. It will take time and new memories before you stop thinking of him so much. I know, I went through similar before I got married, and I have been married to the same man for 36 years. So you see, just give it time and continue to make new memories and one day you will suddenly realize that you haven't thought about him half as much as you use to. Just hang in there, and you will find that the tears will even disappear when you think of him. But as I said, it takes time and new memories.
2016-05-19 00:52:11 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion financial problems can cause serious damages to the relationship. Practically only love or respect cannot maintain the relations by themselves. In most of the societies everything depends on your finance even your health. If one of the sides find themselves alone and supportless in the challenge for survival this causes a great feeling of insecurity in relationship.
If you feel love and respect to your new bf and if you do not have financial problems in your current relationship I think it is the best thing to be determined about it. In time you will completely move on your past IF you keep to look at your future.
Good luck
2007-09-19 22:11:21 · answer #6 · answered by Ardelia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think its wrong that you still think of the good times that you had with your ex. When a divorce happens suddenly,you forget the things that brought you together in the first place; and only when they have gone do you start to remember what you have lost.
Best to think of your life as a book. The chapter about you and your ex has closed, and you realised what you had. Now you have opened a new chapter with your current partner; you should be thinking of all the new things (& future things) that are yet to come.
2007-09-19 22:03:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have to have time for u self to get staff clear out u head, wahy u was an a faithin marriage now u come out whit bf is dosent help is not the solutcion si u have to read u question an take a time . but en other hand u have to talk to u bf whay u say taht he loves u so dont get another hart feel mad about some that he not di . : dont let u emocions run u life have seat think wat u want not about relation aabout waht i want for me from now on so u do the raihgt pick be frend to him an later u make choise when u feel beter about u self of u dont anderstand im star raedin en inglis but god bless u
2007-09-19 22:13:51 · answer #8 · answered by O.A.G>M> 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to stop blaming financial trouble for the break up. It was the fact that your relationship was not as strong as you thought. Therefore it didn't handle the hard times. Looking into one another's eyes doesn't make a great relationship. Looking outwardly together, in the same direction, does.
2007-09-19 22:00:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey.. honey , you are in a very critical condition of life.. wch include you life and your love ,
you cant stop thinking of your ex,,,bf aswel as you cant give your 100% TO UR BF..
IT WILL TAKE SOME TIME ,, TO HAVE EVERY THING NORMAL,
BCUS U YOU HAV SPENT SOME OF THE GRATEST AND LOVELY MOMENT WITH YOU EX--BF. .
solotion for your problem is to belive in your self and give ur self some time ,, it is the matter of love and life ,,,
be bzy with your life ,,,
love happens ones ,,,,,,,, keep this in your mind
rest of the life is all compromise
2007-09-19 22:07:42 · answer #10 · answered by jann 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋