Have you seen him?
2007-09-19 21:01:50 · 19 answers · asked by ♠♥ Miss Zora ♦♣ 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
show...
(owner hits the cage)
Owner: There, he moved!
Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! 'E's pining!
Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
(pause)
Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.
Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Owner: I got a slug.
(pause)
Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?
Owner: Nnnnot really.
Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
2007-09-20 01:01:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do no longer know in the event that they nonetheless have parrots yet they might nonetheless positioned on eye patches. the reason that pirates wore eye patches interior the 1st place is using the fact the sunlight grow to be so vivid out on the seas that whilst they went down under into the cabins and the to the cannons they won't see and can be blind till their eyes adjusted to the darkness, nicely in the event that they have been under attack or somebody grow to be hiding down there they does no longer have the skill to work out to combat so as that they might continually keep one eye coated so whilst they went down they might take the patch and flow it to the different eye. this type the attention grow to be already adjusted to the darkish. So the patch grow for use too continually keep one eye closed no longer because of the fact of something incorrect with the attention. Google pirate data for added information. i desire this enables and stable good fortune!
2016-10-19 04:32:43 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AAArrrrrrGGGhhhhh,
No me hearty - but a man wit a peg leg and a patch on his eye just gave me a map to find him.
looks like he's buried under a big X - a tot o' rum an' I'll look wit' ye!!!!
2007-09-19 22:47:51 · answer #3 · answered by Joe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will return to you late next SEP 18 and disappear again on the 20th
2007-09-19 21:05:02 · answer #4 · answered by Always Curious 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For a bottle of rum i'll give u my parrot...he's drivin' me crazy!!
2007-09-19 21:05:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not coming out until it gets a cracker.
2007-09-19 21:15:24 · answer #6 · answered by Max A 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I swear the waiter said it was a cornish hen.
2007-09-19 21:05:23 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He said something very insulting to me, and I just so happened to have my pistol. Sorry, I didn't know it was yours...
Can I give you some rum as compensation? =)
2007-09-19 21:07:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He's probably wastin' away in Margaritaville
2007-09-19 21:08:14 · answer #9 · answered by KMD Zev Sub and Onyx 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry Miss Zora..I got hungry....
2007-09-19 21:04:14 · answer #10 · answered by Lefty 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋