if a friend told you that they would never live with you as a roomate, are they truly your friend?

Question

I have a friend who is otherwise a good friend and very valued, who does not know I would be there for them when they need me, yet they do not trust me enough to ever live around them, although it seems they would consider me a good friend, this bothers me, it makes me feel as I am not judged worthy, and even though I have my own family and people to live with, i'm not sure how to take it,

Answer 1

yes

Answer 2

Just because someone is a good friend does not mean that you would be compatible to live together. Maybe he/she prefers to live alone; maybe you have a habit that he/she just couldn't live with day in and day out. I speak from experience. I had a best friend (she is now deceased which is why I say had, not because we're not friends anymore) and out of financial necessity I had to move in with her for awhile. Believe me when I tell you this, I loved her like a sister, but if I'd had any other choices at the time I would never have done it; she had her ways and I had mine and they did clash. I knew that BEFORE I moved in but, as I've said, it was a have to situation. Given the opportunity under any other circumstances nither one of us would have ever thought of living together no matter how long we'd been very close friends. Don't be offended or feel judged unworthy to live in his/her presence. This person just knows how they like to live and that's all there is to it.

Answer 3

They're definitely still your friend. I have friends that I love to death, but I know our friendship would be ruined if we lived together. It's not a good idea to live with your best friends.

For instance, a very old and dear friend of mine get along very well. However, even if we're just taking a trip together for a week or so, we start to get on each other's nerves if we have to share a hotel room. Why? She's anal retentive and she doesn't think my habit of throwing my clothes on the floor is as cute as I do. Plus, she takes hour-long showers and uses up all the hot water, then insists on hogging the sink. I trust her with my life, she's a great friend, but we would NOT live well together.

Don't take it as an assault on your character. If you want to get roommates, try to find people you maybe don't know as well. Ask them very specific questions about their sleeping schedules, if they're partiers, if they're neat and tidy, etc. Just because you're great friends with someone doesn't mean you'll mesh well together in a living situation!

Answer 4

I say yes they are. I mean there have been many cases where friends move in together thinking everything is going to be really cool and awesome because you are best buds and all this and that. But soon as you move in things start happening that you never realized. Like your friend could be a complete slob, or they are a complete neat freak. They never take out the trash or never take their hair out the drain.

Not only that but down the road someone is going to quit paying the rent. Which really sucks because not only have you found out the worst about your good buddy. You now realize you have to take them to court for the rent money they owe you, so that you don't got to jail or be kicked out of your place because they aren't helping you pay for it at all anymore.

I say dude be very thankful your friend is being honest enough in telling you this stuff. I mean people at times can take good friends for granted. But it takes a even better friend in my opinion to be upfront enough with you and tell you out right, that they don't think they could risk living with you as their roommate. Its a much bigger sign here that this person values your friendship enough to tell you this. Because after going to court usually best buds aren't even on speaking terms anymore. So I say thank your lucky stars and think about what he has told you. Even reevaluate some of the things he/she has said in your mind. You will feel better and see a better understanding once you do realize he/she is being sincere with you.

Answer 5

Yes they are still your friend! Take it easy.

Living with friends can often sour the relationship at least a little bit. They just don't want that. I have lots of friends I really love, but most of them would probably drive me nuts if I had to live with them. I'm living with one of my friends now, and she's driving me nuts.

We get along great, but I really wish I lived with someone who didn't wake me up at 12:30AM to ask if she could vaccuum. You learn just how crazy people are, which you would otherwise not know.

Answer 6

Some friends are too different from each other. In order to get along, they must live separate. For instance, some people smoke and ohers do not, some people drink and others do not, some people are very clean and others are not, etc, some people like lots of company, others do not, some people go to bed early, others do not, etc...

Answer 7

you know, i've had several roommates in the past, some friends and some not.
i've learned that not all friends make good roommates, and sometimes the best roommates are people who you aren't necessarily even friends with. to be compatible as roommates has nothing to do with friendship qualities, its more about habits, cleaning standards, etc.
so dont' take it personally. i have friends that i love to death, but honestly i would never live with them. i still want to hang out with them, but i know we would clash as roommates and i wouldn't want to harm our friendship. i'm sure your friend feels the same way...she probably knows you two would not be compatible as roomies so she wants to keep your friendship at its best!
however, if she was rude about it when she said she wouldn't live with you, that is somewhat inconsiderate of your feelings., but i hope she said it nicely.

Answer 8

try not to take it personally. easier said than done. i've lived with a few friends in my younger days. i never believed our friendships would be ruined. so i tried it. it just didnt work out. we all turned out to be enemies in the end. i got ditched with all the bills, rent for a big house. this is just my personal experience though. it's better to stay friends & not live together.

Answer 9

I think this depends on how old you are.

As a rule of thumb, don't mix money and friends. It always ends up bad.