Someone Please help me understand my life?

Question

I think I have a tendency to attract people unwillingly or attract attention, then people want to be my friend but Im not a social person so then people think im arrogant because I do not speak...everyone wants to know who that quiet kid is, i think i attract attention because im always silent, thinking instead of talking. I dont know. I have always been like this. I like to keep to myself. I dont like attention. I dont like speaking to people I dont know. I like thinking. I like being by myself. I expect this in advance now. This is how my life is going to be like, social people getting pissed because I dont talk to them and share my ideas. I never have time to have fun. I always work. Theres no Tv in my room so no video games. I eat the cafeteria food which is suppose to be healthy but they're playing us. Because i dont speak people think im sullen, silent resentment. Im just a self conscious person, I cant change that. I surprise people because they look at me and think im dumb because I never say anything but when they read my writings they're shocked. Still waters run deep. Quiet people have complex personalities and feelings and thoughts, no one understands that, grown people; 42 year olds, dont know that. I hate this.

Answer 1

Yes, a lot people don't get it, but there are enough people who do. I'm 17 now, but I used to be you and a part of me still is. I'm not extremely social, but I'm working on it. Right now, I'm working on maintaining balance. When, I study or work on an assignment I put forth my full ability, because its just who I am. I have a serious ambitious drive, and I can't change that; plus, I can't enjoy myself if I start slacking...you know guilty conscience. Also, I like accomplishment, getting good grades and knowing that I was able to comprehend. Sometimes, but rarely, I may lack off a bit. I definitely put aside time for relaxation and other things social and nonsocial--well, I do now. I mean somehow, I am serious about my responsibilities, but I know how to be lighted-hearted and able to laugh at things and see the fun side of life. And I always take breaks after a certain amount of time and do something enjoyable.

I definitely enjoy my personal space. I too am very independent--but in life, it is necessary to be able to relate to others so that we can see the beauty of life and also be helpful to others. If you have to make small talk with others. You will never learn anything if you are that stubborn and close-minded...clouded vision.

If only you would go on vacation or something in order to find a safe place to be free and happy (that means not working and just letting go), and come back with a cheerful attitude.
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Answer 2

Hey, there isn't any problem with being anti-social if you like it that way. If you actually would prefer to be more social, then it could be a problem.

Humans are generally regarded as social beings. A sole human being would have a rough time of it entirely alone, without being dependent on any other human for anything whatsoever. So, it could be considered by some to be unnatural to be entirely anti-social.

Be careful making assumptions about old people (like 42 year-olds). They have been where you are, but you haven't been where they are. Also, if you a still a teenager, remember than emotional development continues at a rapid pace up through about age 25 or so on average.

Answer 3

you are very right. and i am sure you will find a lot of understanding in this section as many people are like this. you should try to find a circle which is matching in your intellectual level and social habits. once you start sociualizing in such a circle you will gain confidence and experience to handle other social situations much better. another thing? if you are upset about other peoples reaction to you it shows you do care. donot just say you just want to be alone..no body likes that. come out learn to be open. you may never become an extrovert but you will become socially mature and happy person. you have to come out out of the comfort zone you are hiding inside.

Answer 4

I am an introvert myself. I can identify with you. I hate crowds, I don't like talking to people. Everybody thinks I'm weird or a snob.
Do not let what other people think of you affect you. To hell with them! You are not dumb! As they say Silence is a sign of wisdom.
I think you are in a stage wherein your confused if you want to stay the way you are or to fit in. You must decide on this first.
As for me I have accepted myself for who I really am. I am happy in solace and solitude. Though other people find it hard to believe how one must a love solitary life. No man is an island blah.blah. blah. And that sooner or later I will long for the company of someone else (see I have this thing - I want to be an old maid). But that's where I'd like to stay. I am happy alone with my thoughts. It gives me time to think, meditate and be creative. I am happy in the company of my books - they are my companions.
I sense a sadness in you though, the part where you say - you have no time for fun. If you really are an introverted person being alone will not affect you. I sense that you long for belongingness. Things can still change for you. Just take it one step at a time. Not a drastic change in personality. If you long to be with other people start loving and accepting your flawed self. And start to create a relationship with your family and then to other people. But if you want to stay the way you are then "props to you man!"

Answer 5

Is writing your preferred way to communicate? I am that way so I am comfortable here on the Internet. I am 50 years old and I understand what you are saying. But hon....there is alot of life out there that you need to experience. Being open to others even if pushes you out of your comfort zone is necessary to access that part of life. Putting up walls to the outside kills off a part of yourself that in the long run you might want. What about in the future, if you look around and want to find someone to start a family with? The skills to do that is something that you need to be working on now. It is a painful process but you will be so glad that you put in the time and effort later. I thought that I would always be alone with my only companion ---my mind, my imagination but I met my soul mate---I went out of my comfort zone and opened my self to him. That was 30 years ago---we have been together since then. He gave me two wonderful sons and a very good life. He stuck with me through so much. You don't want to miss out on that hon.......Good Luck with your life....I hope you find the strength and desire to open yourself as well. Life can be so good.....

Answer 6

Good for you, be yourself. But posting on here is not consistent with your self description. Comment?