All I'm going to say but there is so much more to it (I dont like to air dirty laundry especially to people I dont know) is would anyone elses husband go to Las Vegas with a group of friends(your not invited and intentions seem shady) when the two of you havent even been married a year yet? Shouldnt he be planning trips for the two of you? I will do and have done anything for this man but I'm having a real tough time with this one. Its putting a lot of tension between us whether he knows it or not and to me this stupid trip isnt worth an unhappy marriage.
2007-09-19 16:46:38 · 17 answers · asked by ChrZay 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, he should be thinking in terms of trips for the 2 of you. You need to point out that he is not a single guy anymore and that you, your home and your marriage are supposed to be his #1 priority. You need to remind him that he became your husband of his own free will and that there are responsibilities that go along with all of the benefits of marriage. At the very least, you should be invited along. I can see him wanting this in the future, but the 2 of you are still newlyweds. If it were me, I'd put my foot down and let him know that he is acting like a selfish child and that this trip is totally unacceptable. I do think that you need to look at the big picture, I think that this is a sign of some serious problems. Mostly with him - he is extremely selfish. He probably loves that you'd do anything for him - maybe you need to cut back for awhile and show him that you aren't going to come back for more when he mistreats and disregards you.
2007-09-19 17:54:29 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hold on, you said it's putting alot of tension between you two even if he doesn't know it...why doesn't he know it? have you told him that you're unhappy about it? also, if you don't know EXACTLY why your husband is going to las vegas, that is VERY bad. that should not be happening, no matter how long you've been married. you need to stop keeping your thoughts from him and tell him exactly what you feel, whether it means a huge fight or not. no, married couples don't have to do EVERYTHING together, but a husband or wife should not be taking trips without thier spouse knowing exactly what's going on and agreeing with it.
2007-09-19 16:49:34 · answer #2 · answered by Me 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My vote is he is doing this to you because you are letting him do it to you. My experience is that men are not mind readers or really good at reading the signals you have been sending. If you can sit down with him and tell him calmly how YOU feel about the trip, without blaming him for not caring about your marriage, you can be sure that he understands what this trip means to you. If he goes anyway, then he has made a conscious decision to discount your feelings, and then, you should know where you stand.
2007-09-19 16:56:50 · answer #3 · answered by gitargal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt he is doing this to you on purpose. It's just he is used to the freedom of doing what he wants as a single man. I agree with you that it ain't right. If the trip is that important to him them he should take you with him. In marriage you have to accept thing you don't like. Both of you are a couple and should behave as such. I think he should be more considerate. It's easier to divorce early than to wait later. But, that's pretty harsh if this is the only problem. Go to a marriage counselor for yourself.
2007-09-19 17:34:58 · answer #4 · answered by timespiral 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its really not normal for a man who claims to love his wife of one year of marriage to go on a trip with his friends to Las Vegas. I think you choose the wrong guy. It looks to me that he doesn't care about you. His trip to Las Vegas or any other place for that matter should have been with you and with you only. I think that you have to confront him once and for all. Ask him point blank what the hell is wrong with him? Did he think that he was acquiring a maid and not marrying his loved one? I really hate to tell you this sweetie, but I don't even think he is in love with you. When me and my wife were together I couldn't think of going on a vacation without her.
2007-09-19 17:02:21 · answer #5 · answered by Ricardo R 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yup, you married the wrong kinda guy, sweetie. Don't have any kids with this one... in fact, after he comes back, don't even go to bed with the guy for 6 months until his AIDS test come back negative.... and it does take 6 months for it to show up.....
First year of marriage and the dude is running off to Vegas? Why are you even still with this idiot.
2007-09-19 17:39:20 · answer #6 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that a ton of guys go to vegas without their wives in the first year of marriage, it sounds like you married a guys guy, if you don't like it, then get out before you have kids! my husband and i got married in vegas. he partied with his friends on our wedding night---- until 5 am. i should have left then! he went back out there our first year, our second year while I was pregnant, and is planning another trip without me.....
remember it is not about the trip.... it is about the kind of guy you've married. sounds like his friends are more important. good luck.
2007-09-19 16:53:45 · answer #7 · answered by JennieM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's doing the slim shady alright. He should be concentrating more on his 1st year of marriage than whooping it up in Vegas, like they say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, now that's shady.
2007-09-19 16:50:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! Let's not do a knee jerk reaction here!
You have two choices:
1. Proof to him that even though you have your insecurities, you love him, trust him, and want him to have away time with his friends.
or
2. Whine, beg, threaten, cry, manipulate him into feeling so badly that he stays home and seeds of resentment starts to grow towards you.
You go on vacation at the same time! Go spend the weekend at a girlfriend's house and go out to dinner with her.
Do something that is going to take your mind off your insecurities so you don't call/text him constantly.
When he returns, don't pepper him with questions and suspicions. Unless something is flagrantly obvious, believe in your new husband and treat him as such.
Good luck with your new marriage. Trust him.
2007-09-19 17:09:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anne Noble, Director 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Divorce him. Save yourself and him the trouble of years and years of mistrust in marriage and divorce him.
Next, do not marry anyone unless you completely trust them.
If you find you lack the ability to trust because of some deep seeded emotional trauma from you past, then seek professional counseling.
2007-09-19 16:52:17 · answer #10 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋