If a man gets a woman pregnant from a one night stand, does not want to have a child with her, but after he sees his child he feels for his child...therefore starting to develop feelings for the mother. But still holds resentment because it was a one night stand, he was not in love with her at the time. Are the feelings he feel now due to the manipulation of seeing his child with the mother??
2007-09-19 16:23:25 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He did not want this child....with her to begin with. It was a one night stand.
2007-09-19 16:42:17 · update #1
Thanks for a thumbs down before the answer appeared someone afraid someone might actually be taking the time to help her through this? Or just bothered I reserved a spot for an answer I felt would be constructive?
MiaMia, First I’m going to give you a * for this question for two reasons;
One you have illustrated how valuable a tool Yahoo Answers is for people such as yourself needing answers to questions we would all normally be afraid to ask directly.
Two you have illustrated by this question to many youths around the world just how severe the consequences can be for allowing our hormones to get the best of our normally good judgment.
With this said I am going to answer with both statements and questions so the true answer you will have to find within yourself.
You want to know if the feelings you see now are a result of manipulation. I would have to ask you then have you used the child in a manipulative way? Has it been a condition of yours that he play your way in exchange for the right to see the child? Search your soul thoroughly because only you know if this is the case.
I can tell you some things that may help you sort this out. First and foremost is you must understand from the jump you are dealing with a person I assure is far less mature then yourself and so one the it never even occurred to him that a night to fun could turn so quickly into a responsibility burden of such magnitude and he’s scared to death. He knows he’s unprepared to take on successfully such a burden so it’s a normal reaction to fear the failure. He needs to know that you understand you are as responsible for whats happened as he is and understand this wasn’t a child born out of love. This doesn’t mean love can’t still grow so I say to you that you must be someone he can love in time without pushing the envelope to much too quick. You’ll find being understanding of his natural fear and encouraging him to just be as good a Father as he can be and that you’ll do your part to be as good a Mother as well. You being the more mature of the two of you must take the lead…as well as understand you haven’t a chance of meeting the mature version of your Childs Father until he’s about 35 years old and maybe later. I’m now 54 and I will be honest with you when I tell you I didn’t truly grasp what true love was until I had ruined three marriages. Hey just being honest about the reality of dealing with a male. I was going to comment on some of the previous answers but my answer pretty much says who I think is narrow minded. This is not one persons fault nor is it one person issue to fix. What you both have to accept is that a spark came between you and you both fanned it into a fire. What is important now is that you both love this Child deeply enough to know it will be crucial to his/her mental stability that when he/she reaches different levels of accomplishments regardless how far you and Dad go in life together that the two of you are ready and willing to walk in peace beside one another cheering on your greatest accomplishment…the creation of life. If you two can do this then it won’t matter if you two make it, your child will make it and that should be what’s most important to both of you. Odds are if you follow this advice and caution yourself not to stray in time he will recognize you as an ally and not as the enemy it is then when he may very well reach out to you with sincerity…but you can’t push him there you can only open the door and let him know he can walk through it when and if he wants to. With this approach he is less likely to feel pressured into a situation so may very well decide for himself it’s where he truly wants to be. Keep it always in the front of your mind that he may appear all grown up but he’s in reality still a young adolescent male not much past being a little boy in big boy clothing. Recognizing this is your best chance at one day having a whole family for your coming child. God Bless and good luck my prayers will be with you and yours.
2007-09-19 16:31:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't see where you think it's manipulation...??
There was something about her that made him want her - even if it was just a one night stand. Perhaps she is the kind of person he would want to be with, but felt obligated to stay in another relationship that wasn't right for him. Therefore, it remained a one-night stand and he didn't give her a chance even though it may have worked out. Now he meets a child that he fathered, feels a bond with the child, looks at the mother differently and has feelings for the kind of woman and mother that he sees (that he didn't give it enough time to see before when she was a one-nighter).
It sounds to me as though he has a bond with the child, some new feelings for the mother and another woman in his life (you??) who feels that if she points out that it was just a one night stand often enough, he will turn his back on this woman and child and stay with her. It's not going to be that easy.
2007-09-19 23:54:00 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who do you think is manipulative? I'm a little confused on the scenario. If he didn't have feelings for the baby's mama before and it was only a one-night-stand then his feelings are probably the same. It's not manipulating if you want your baby and baby's daddy to meet. He's not interested he's just being nice b/c he feels guilty.
2007-09-19 23:57:37 · answer #3 · answered by Rabbit 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm still hung up on him being upset with the woman because she became pregnant.......didn't he have something to do with it? Where does manipulation come in?
Anyway.....yes the child could have something to do with him changing his attitude.
2007-09-19 23:34:07 · answer #4 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so. I think they are due to him wanting to do the right thing and care for something that is HIS and HIS responsibility.
2007-09-19 23:33:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He totally disrespected the woman for asking for sex before he was her committed husband. He has no respect for her because she allowed this to happen. He got the milk for free or so he thought, now he has to pay for an unwanted child. Poor little baby that is innocent in all this mess.
2007-09-19 23:29:04 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Wasnt this the same senerio on the movie "Knocked Up?"
2007-09-19 23:33:38 · answer #7 · answered by Chris F 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sort of. dont waste your time with him. he shouldnt resent you it takes 2 to make a baby.
2007-09-19 23:28:48 · answer #8 · answered by terrortwilight 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It would get to me.
2007-09-19 23:26:20 · answer #9 · answered by ||Methadon|| 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋