And, YES, it is wrong to have an affair with someone who is married?
2007-09-19 16:23:17 · 20 answers · asked by ncgirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because the desires of the flesh are strong... so they justify their actions by blaming the other person.... and there is more than one way to cheat on a spouse or lover... if you give your emotional self to someone, share secrets and time and laughter and fun with that person and ignore your spouse for everything BUT sex, you are still cheating.. emotional cheating is sometimes harder to forgive than sexual cheating!
If you have ever been cheated on - sexually or emotionally - one would hope that you would vow never to put another person through that heartache... no matter what the cheater says they did or said. Send the cheater HOME without giving him what he is there for.... if he or she can't work out their problems at home, what makes you think they will work out future problems with you???
2007-09-19 16:30:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Technically speaking, that is correct. However! there are many things that come into the picture. What if the guy/gal you married turned out to be completely wrong for you? What if your spouse and you have drifted apart? What if your needs have changed since you marry? What if your spouse is not willing to compromise and meet you half way in every aspect? Well, these questions are endless and there is no easy solution to these questions.
A lot of marriage are a marriage of convenience. Most of the time, either party is not willing to so called rock the boat because of complacency or too dependend on their partner or that they do not want to hurt/deprieve their children of their parental love. The core essence of marriage which should be love and respect are not longer in existance. So, how will such marriage survive till death do they part?
I personally feel that any party that says they do not want to hurt their children or deprieve their children of their partner's love is crap! Children these days are extremely clever and they do sense the tension and unhappiness. However, as they are young, they are not able to express their thoughts and questions to their parents. And it is very sad that these children grow up thinking that this is marriage and some might even decide that marriage is a lousy thing in life and not get into it! In some cases, children will see how weak their parents are and they might resent such weaknesses. There are a lot of percussion in such situation and most of the time, parents are simply too weak and hopeless to pick themselves up and correct it! At the end, what seem to be a noble gesture will have far fetching consequences.
So, back to my point, we all cannot deny that our needs and wants grow as we age. When we are in our 20s we might be contended with a wife that is shapely and good in bed.. however, when we enter the 40s kingdom, we find that a shapely and good in bed wife is not much of an excitement if we can't talk about more profound things besides the kids and groceries! So, what do we do? Do we tell our spouse that they need to keep themselves in sync with the world and its news and incur the wrath of a dragon lady? or do we just keep quiet and silently live the rest of our lives in loneliness? I am sure it is the same for women. It is fairly safe to say that if your needs are the same throughout our live time, you must be a pretty boring person that didnt progress much in life!
These are a few examples of why married people have affairs. A lot of people might say that it is wrong and not acceptable but I will say that unless and until you are in that position, it is best not to judge.
2007-09-19 17:48:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I see someone said "what if" this or that. There is no what if. If you aren't happy END THE RELATIONSHIP losers! If you are "swingers" and are OK with that then it's not cheating then is it? That would be an open relationship.
So I guess your answer is yes it's hard for even some people answering your question here to think straight. Selfishness, lack of character, meanness, assigning blame to others are some of the popular reasons people do this.
2007-09-19 16:39:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not everyone thinks that way tho. What if a couple that is married is married for different reasons other than "love"?? What if the woman's hubby is physically abusive and she has gone out and found a loving relationship with another person, even tho she is married? What if they are both swingers? Is that still cheating? Sure, it's technically "wrong" to cheat on a spouse if you are going by, say, what the Bible says, but maybe sometimes it's not always so "wrong"...and you need to understand that there are other people who think differently, too.
2007-09-19 16:29:57 · answer #4 · answered by dianah 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
It isn't. They fully understand what they are doing is wrong..... but they just don't really care, and most really wish to get caught, and really want out of those marriages.... or at least, they want that betrayed partner to stick around and put up with it. And ya know???? some of those partners do stay.... at least for awhile. Read all of these postings... amazing.
But my friend the therapist says only 20% of betrayal in marriage survive 2 years, and that is when both wish to save it and both are in counseling. Of all of my friends where one or the other cheated and found out, absolutely none are still together....none, zero.... Knowing that, when my cheated, I didn't bother staying... gone, as in outa there. Ran, left the state, and divorced the dude. The thought of him touching me again made me vomit.....
Answer your question?
2007-09-19 17:22:46 · answer #5 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who are IN a relationship with a married person or is cheating on their spouse will always disagree that its' 'wrong' to cheat or have an affair with a married person because they're in the relationship themselves. You have to understand that taken as a whole, it is wrong. But if you go to the finer details of why these people cheat or why they have affairs with married people - you might change your mind about it and be more understanding and compassionate towards people who are in rotten marriages.
2007-09-19 17:08:41 · answer #6 · answered by Equinox 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I've decided there are people who really don't understand what marriage is all about.
Cheating is wrong no matter how you do it.....
if you're in a chat room & secretly talking to someone
you have a crush on a co-worker and act on it
your spouse is boring
It doesn't matter....it's cheating....there is no explanation.
2007-09-19 16:27:07 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lack of personal accountability and the unwillingness to accept responsability for thier own personal actions, we as americans are notoriously bad at those two things, they know that its wrong deep down, but its thier incredibly weak charachter that prevents them from acknowledging this fact and doing the right thing, or better yet, not doing the wrong thing.
2007-09-19 16:37:07 · answer #8 · answered by Chris F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to think that these people lack any empathy or understanding of commitment. They really truly believe they are doing no wrong. Then they have the audacity to get mad at you when you confront them of their wrong doings.
2007-09-19 16:30:18 · answer #9 · answered by iamhappyfourme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the girl that said different people have different value systems.
Some people have relationships where they are okay with sleeping with other people.
But if you are like that and are with someone that is NOT like that, then it puts you in the wrong.
I agree, that cheating on a spiuse is wrong at all times.
Technically its not cheating if you know the other person is doing it and your okay with it.
2007-09-19 16:30:25 · answer #10 · answered by Megan 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋