When someone shares information with you in confidence is it okay to tell your spouse?

Question

Is there a "spousal exemption" of sorts?

My husband has a business partner. His partner told him about a month ago that his wife has a serious and potentially life
threatening illness. He asked my husband to not tell anyone. Tonight at dinner, my jeweler and his wife (who are friends with both my husband and his partner) asked my husband how his partner's wife was doing.... I was stunned. I asked him what was wrong with her, and I had to pry it out of him. He almost didn't tell me!

My question: is there an expectation that a person will share that kind of information with their spouse? Do people assume that "pillow talk" will occur? Or are you suppose to not share that kind of information with your spouse? If it were me, it'd be the first thing I told my husband when I got home..... What can you share, if not these type of things?

Answer 1

I think in most cases yes, he should have told you. I think its common knowledge that spouses share this kind of information. I wouldn't be too hard on your husband though. He was trying to keep his word to his partner and I'm sure friend. I'm sure it was something he struggled with. If you had to pry it out of him he must be a man of his word and you should appreciate that.

Answer 2

No, there's not an 'expectation' that that information will be shared. If your business partner asked your husband not to tell anyone, then your husband honored his business partner's wishes by not telling anyone.

What direct influence did it have on you? Do you know his partner's wife? Are you in a close enough relationship that her illness would be any of your business? I can understand how it would affect your husband - his partner's wife being ill would possibly affect his work.

It could also be that he doesn't trust you because you've been snooping through his emails...

Answer 3

You should consider married couples as a one person. It's unfair to ask someone to keep secrets from their spouse, and assume when you tell a married person something, that you're also telling it to that person's spouse. Keeping a secret from a spouse is the first step in eroding a marriage, for it implies that other secrets are also being kept.

Answer 4

The fact that it was "in confidence" means that it should not be shared. Too many people don't respect confidentiality. Not doing so can create unforseen and unintended consequences. Knowing human nature, if there were something in my life that I wanted to keep "in confidence" I wouldn't tell ANYONE...

Answer 5

i will share most things- i would of what you talked about- but there are things i won't. i think most people would just know the difference. ex.- my buddy is having an affair, I'm not telling my wife. my wife used to tell me a lot about her female boss, things that i am sure that person would not want me to know. if she knew that i knew she wouldn't be able to look at me in the face, because she would be embarrassed. most people use their best judgment- i hope

Answer 6

Didn't you ask this question recently......someone asked this same question with the life threatening illness and the jewelry and not telling a secret recently.

I guess you didn't like those answers.

Here's my answer again.....Your husband is a good friend by keeping a confidence.

Answer 7

If someone tells you something in confidence you don't tell anyone else. Period. It has nothing to do with not trusting the spouse. It has to do with it is not someone's place to tell news that isn't theirs.

Answer 8

that depends. in my experience it seems to me that men are worse gossiper the women. if your spouse cna keep a secret go for it. mine cant so i keep it limited very limited.

Answer 9

You are one with your spouse so it is perfectly alright to share info with them., but it is still one's choice to share or not.

Answer 10

Women are better at keeping secrets than men.