After I married my wife I kept in contact with 4 of my old girlfriends that I had intimate relations with, My wife told me on several occassions that it bothered her that I still IM'ed and e-mailed them on a regular basis and even tried to get her involved by being their "friends". Although I never talked sexual with them I still remained in contact with them. Should this have bothered my new wife or should she just have accepted it as inocent freindship?
2007-09-19 16:14:06 · 20 answers · asked by free_mark53 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If that were your wife staying in contact with her ex bofriends whom she had intimate relations with how would u feel? They are exes for a reason so value what or whom u have now and 4get the past.
2007-09-19 16:39:28 · answer #1 · answered by italian Queen Bitch 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok first off, you didn't say how old you guys were. If your in your 20's she will probably still be a little insecure with who she is and where she stands. Old friends are old friends, and even though you slept with these women does not mean that you still can't be just friends. It is possible, as long as that has been established. Maybe she thinks that these women still want to be with you, and it is your job to let her know that you want no other woman but her. If she still doesn't get it then maybe she has a few trust issues.
2007-09-19 16:26:29 · answer #2 · answered by momof2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends. Some consider it cheating. I know other than my wife, two of my best friends are women. Then again, I never had a relationship with them. It's different when you had a relationship with them...can't explain it, but it just is.
Talk to your wife and ask her why it bothers her. Ask her what you can do to make her comfortable. Let her know that she is very important to you and you want her to be OK with things.
2007-09-19 16:22:13 · answer #3 · answered by bruiserkc2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talking to those old girlfriends is totally inappropriate now. Even if it's just a matter of opinion, you're wife's opinion should matter the most! That would bother any girl! Stop talking to them NOW!
2007-09-19 16:24:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
of course it going to bother her there will always be the thoughts of you with those other 'friends' and you back in those days. if you care and love your wife which im sure you do or you wont give a s*** i would suggest that you stop all contact with them. this situation could lead to unwanted temptation. she obviously is not going to accept the friendship.
2007-09-19 16:32:01 · answer #5 · answered by elizabeth c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it depends....
i think it is irrelevant whether she should accept it! if it bothers her, you've got to drop them or you risk losing her.
that said, why is she bothered? have you been a bad man in the past? why would she be insecure?
simply keeping in touch with an ex is not cheating! keeping in touch with the hopes of keeping an ex on the back burner should your marriage not work out--- that's going down the wrong road.
good luck.
2007-09-19 16:27:20 · answer #6 · answered by JennieM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk it out with your wife and see why it bothers her, and what you can do to resolve it. I think as long as you are just keeping in contact with them that every thing's fine.
2007-09-19 16:22:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't matter if it "should" bother her. It did. She let you know.You ignored her. This is not how good relationships function. You are married now. You need to consider her feelings. Put yourself in her shoes and think of how you would feel.
2007-09-19 16:34:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont know any woman or man that wouldnt be affected. shes totally justified in feeling the way she does. if you really care about your wife you need to grow and move on and dump you ex girlfriends.
2007-09-19 16:34:22 · answer #9 · answered by terrortwilight 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bad form. You should have left those friends slip away slowly and made new friends that wouldn't threaten your wife as much. They would expect that.
2007-09-19 16:22:41 · answer #10 · answered by Sway 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋