I was suspicious and confronted her, after seeing many many phone calls, back and forth, during times they had no reason to be talking on the phone... long story short, she denied denied denied... Then I found she was looking for a card for him using the search words "I want you but can't have you" and "wanting what you can't have"... So they decided it couldn't go further, etc..etc.. he transfered to another location, same company, but obviously still have ample opportunity to communicate and even see each other. Oh, and she continued to lie about talking ot him and deleted phone calls, etc.. So, she says they can remain "FRIENDS" since they didn't have sex and it went no further than "emotional" ... I say she no way, if he's more important than our marriage and family, then that's the choice she has to make, but I'm not going to be worrying about this jackass all the time, when she's proven she's willing to lie and deceive me in regards to him. Am I wrong?
2007-09-19 16:13:59 · 13 answers · asked by Timothy M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can tell you from sad experience with an ex-girlfriend that this is NOT innocent . Move on - trust your instincts which are correct .
2007-09-19 16:21:41 · answer #1 · answered by gillemhor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are wrong to think it is just your wife at fault. Don't misunderstand me. Your wife has INDEED had an affair with this man - in her mind.
May I suggest that, as her husband, would YOU ask your wife out to dinner occasionally, join an exercise program or dance class together, give her compliments, accept offers from friends and families to mind the children (if you have them) and enjoy some romantic weekends/ evenings/ mornings/lunches together? Are you due to take holidays?
Your wife is crying out for attention and who better to give attention than, you, her husband. I don't condone her behaviour and I'm not accusing you of neglecting her needs, but the more time you spend together as a couple, she will soon forget this infatuation.
Marriage is hard work.
2007-09-19 16:59:50 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely NOT wrong. And no...they cannot be friends, if they could just be friends it would not have gone any further than that to begin with. You also have to consider that yes, she is willing to lie to you in regards to him. Whats to say she will not be willing to lie the next time she develops feelings for someone else. When you love someone deeply (as she SHOULD love you being your wife and all) you don't fall in love with someone else for the simple reason that you aren't looking for any other romantic relationships. If she tells you she didn't mean for it to happen that is BS, things like that don't happen unless the person is open to it in the first place.
2007-09-19 16:37:39 · answer #3 · answered by CalamityJane 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They cannot remain friends. Especially, if it was only "emotional". Emotional is worse than physical. With physical you can just have sex fulfill the urge and then get back to reality. When there are emotions involved it gets a lot harder to get over. As long as they try to remain friends they will still carry those emotions and will always have the temptation to take it to the next level.
2007-09-19 16:35:46 · answer #4 · answered by golfinggoddess 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is a horrible feeling when you want to believe your wife didn't sleep with her co-worker and you really don't know if they did or not. I believed my husband when he swore on his mother& father and our own son that he did not sleep with this woman his co-worker. One week later I found out that he not only slept with her but had been for 3 years. Can you imagine how i felt at that moment I wanted to die,i was already dead inside. My heart was so broken I prayed to god (please don't let me wake up tomorrow) that was 10 years ago and it still hurts. I hope for your sake she is telling you the truth it makes it so much easier to deal with. All you can do now is believe she is telling you the truth and go on from there. As far as being friends that's a time bomb waiting to go off. Does she think your stupid or something does she think you will let her remain friends with a guy who wanted her.Sounds like you already put your foot down so that's about all you can do for now so let nature take it's curse.
2007-09-19 16:36:12 · answer #5 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are NOT wrong. I can't believe she admitted she had feelings for him. Hopefully you stopped this before it got any further. She needs to get another job especially since she still has feelings and wants to remain "friends" wink wink. You won't be able to stop this relationship/bond until you stop all communications between the two. Good luck!
2007-09-19 17:07:35 · answer #6 · answered by Rabbit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In short, you can't go back. Well, very rarely. And why should you be a test case anyway?
Depending on how strongly you feel about this, and consider the possible ramifications, a call to her/his human resources director may send things moving along.
2007-09-19 16:23:04 · answer #7 · answered by Scott H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No - not if she has "feelings" for him that she knows should be inappropriate yet she keeps in contact with him (and lies to you about it) anyway.
While it's not 100% guaranteed it will move into the physical, the fact that she's already hiding it says that she knows it's wrong.
2007-09-19 16:53:21 · answer #8 · answered by Nandina (Bunny Slipper Goddess) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hilarious.
2016-05-18 23:58:31 · answer #9 · answered by shawna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you want to stay married: you need to both go to counseling. Otherwise, you need to find a lawyer. Do you really think it was just "emotional"?
Sorry, pal, you are being cheated on
2007-09-19 16:22:10 · answer #10 · answered by silentnonrev 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋