My bf and I are both in our late 20s and very independant. Before we met, I had a job in Eastern Europe. I really miss working overseas. We plan to marry in a year or two. I never knew love could be like this - he's amazing. I still travel a lot by myself as well as with him, but the trips are shorter. (His job doesn't give him much travel time; mine does.)
I now have a dream opportunity to work in Africa for three months next year. He would meet me there at the end to travel for 5 weeks together. He trusts me 100% and says if this is what I want, he supports me fully. My parents say I should go and really, what's 3 months of our lives?
However, we've had comments from a few friends. He tells them our relationship is none of their business, which is great. But it made me think - is it wrong of me to want to take this job even when he can't join me? Does a relationship mean I should give up my dreams? These comments are upsetting me! Any opinions are appreciated. Thank you!
2007-09-19 15:52:07 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks hisgirl... I trust him 100% - lack of trust is absolutely not an issue! I've never once doubted his commitment, etc, and don't believe he would ever cheat.
2007-09-19 15:57:48 · update #1
A little perspective for you... my best girl friend from childhood met my husband's best friend from childhood at our wedding and got married. Since he was in the military and stationed in NC and she worked in Rhode Island when they met, before they married they never lived in the same state. In fact, his dream was to be an Army Ranger and so he pursued it -- training took him away for something about 3 months starting about 2 weeks after they married. That was 7 years ago... since then, he's spent no less than 24 months in active duty on another continent -- just like thousands of married service men and women who spend HUGE chunks of time apart.
Of course you should do this... your nay saying friends need to get a life and find their own inspiration beyond clinging to a boyfriend/fiance/husband.
2007-09-19 16:38:16 · answer #1 · answered by Jen N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is so amazing that you have the opportunity to travel AND have a wonderful loving boyfriend! That is definitely rare... And the fact that he fully trusts you and supports you is just another sign for you to take this opportunity in Africa. There is really no reason not to do this! I have no doubt that the people who are commenting on your relationship feel a bit jealous. Go for your dreams, go for your fiance...you can, and you will, have both. If life was generous enough to present you with both opportunities then you shouldn't have to choose. Good luck, lucky girl!
2007-09-19 16:02:40 · answer #2 · answered by Yul'ka 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not weird. Not wrong. You are in the best situation possible. Three months isn't much time when you have a lifetime together. You have a boyfriend who supports what you do. Go do it! It's not every day that you get to spend 3 months in Africa! A great marriage is one in which both people push each other to live their dreams. You have that, don't waste it! He will visit in 5 weeks and you can certainly stay in touch with the phone and computer. Talk to each other on web cams often to share what you are both doing. Don't listen to friends that don't get your relationship. Don't let them upset you. These are people that don't have what you have and are trying to sabotage it. Go live your life. Go live your dreams! Good luck :)
2007-09-19 16:45:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you trust him 100% and he trusts you 100%, and he doesn't have a problem with it, what's the big deal? Don't let the people that have no immediate affect on your life try to have an immediate affect on your life. The only person whose opinion matters in this is your soon to be husband, and since he shares your feelings about it, have fun, live your dream, not all get the opportunity so take it while you can:D
2007-09-19 16:37:45 · answer #4 · answered by littlevivi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look at it this way if you don't go on your Africa trip you will regret it and think about it until the day you die. You know the saying misery loves company keep that in mind when you think of the comments that were made by your so called friends. You live your life the way you want not what is expected of you. Life is so very very short so go explore it while you are still young enough to enjoy it.
2007-09-19 16:19:26 · answer #5 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband is in the military we have had to spend many many months apart. I believe it made our relationship stronger because we could only talk over the phone , and face it talking is a very important part of a relationship. You go on this once and a life time trip, with no reservations or doubts GOOD LUCK!
2007-09-19 16:03:52 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs.BETZ 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it is great that he is supporting you! Three months is not that long, and a great op for you. My hubby and I have had extended periods when he worked away from home, and one boss was shocked I would let him do that. It was in the best interest for both of us, our family and our finances at the time. We aren't tied together or inseparable. We appreciate every waking moment we have together as well as ever moment we are separate. Heck, what were cell-phones invented for :-)
Enjoy Africa!!
2007-09-19 16:08:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take the job. Enjoy the experience. If your love for each other is real and true, a few months means nothing. You'll have a rich, memorable experience to share when you join up. Friends opinions don't count at all.
2007-09-19 16:03:40 · answer #8 · answered by birdman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is right....your relationship is non of their business....If your boyfriend is fine with you taking the job knowing he can't join you....then don't worry...take the job! You should never give up your dreams for someone else.....I think you and your boyfriend have a great relationship that is based on love and trust.
2007-09-19 15:59:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it's a one time thing for three months, fine. If you plan on taking opportunities like this in the future, you should really make sure he's aware of that, and he would be ok with you being gone or going with you.
2007-09-19 15:59:26 · answer #10 · answered by Rich 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋