Have you ever known someone close to you that had cancer???

Question

How did you deal with it?? How can you help them to deal with it??

Thanks for all the help!! I just found out that my aunt has breast cancer!!

Thanks to all of you for helping me through this!! You are all absolutely wonderful!!!!! May God Bless You All!!

Answer 1

My daughter was 37 when she died August 25.2006 of cancer.She dealt with it by taking 1 day at a time and that is the way I helped her. If she was happy for a week then I would be happy with her. If she ranted and raved for days,then I let her rant to me. If she cried,then I held her while she cried. In other words I let her call the shots.Being her mother, I knew when to stand back or when she needed me.REMEMBER 1 day at a time!!!How did I deal with it? Not very good..I respected her wishes and was there for her. I cried a lot.I took care of her when she was no longer able to.

Answer 2

Hello:

First,I am sorry to hear that your Aunt has breast cancer,she will be in my thoughts and prayers. On my mother's side of the family,there is a long history of breast cancer,and she developed breast cancer in her early forties. My mother died from breast cancer when I had just found out that I was pregnant,and I would have given anything to be able to see my mother become a grandmother. Needless to say,Mother's Day is a very hard holiday for me,but I stay strong for my daughter,and I don't let her see me cry on Mother's Day.

I thought I felt a lump last month in my breast,but I had a mammogram and everything turned out just fine. I wanted to also add that the four years that my mother battled breast cancer,I was there for her every step of the way.

Answer 3

Too numerous to mention. I highly recommend two books by Gregg Anderson. "The Cancer Survivor" and even more, "The 22 Non-Negotiable Laws Of Wellness". Gregg is a cancer survivor who was diagnosed as terminal in the late 70's and is still writing and lecturing last I heard. Also, I suggest that you be open and honest about your feelings with them as well and don't be afraid to be around them or ask questions. Each person is different of course, but maintaining a "normal" relationship as much as possible is very important. Encouragement is important and don't put up with pity parties except very short ones. The best comment I have heard is "I am not dying of cancer, I am living with cancer". Slight change in words, huge change in perspective. May the Spirit of God comfort and protect you. peace

Answer 4

Yes I have. My sister has lung cancer. Last time I saw her was oh about 27 years ago, we lost touch. On Memorial Day, she called me, due to the fact my ex-husband writing her a letter. She informs me she has lung cancer. She has not answered any more of my calls. I know she is scared, but she needs her space and so I give it to her. We were seperated when our mom died, so we have only been close whenever we could be together. Which is a total of maybe two years in our lives. I am 48 and she is now 53. I love her and she knows it, as well as I know she loves me. I fell apart when I got off the phone with her, I did not want her to die. I want to visit her again and spend more time before the end. We had lost so much time already. But I realized, she needs her space and time and so I leave her with her daughter and her grandchildren. I know I will meet her later and we will be sisters never to seperate again. Last month I found out my ex-husband has lung cancer also, he divorced me so I would not be burdened with it. But I am there for him and he knows it. We also have two girls that will need both of us to get through it. God Bless.

Answer 5

Educate yourself as much as you can about the kind of breast cancer she has, what her medications are and if it has spread to any parts of the body. Then you stand by her side and encourage her to fight every step of the way. Know about the side affects of her medications so you won't be scared when weird things happen. Also, if you see your aunt getting really tired and frustrated then point out ask her if she has had enough. So many times it is the family members out of their selfishness that push them to fight and fight while they are completely miserable in pain, loosing their hair and strength. There does come a time when the sick person gets tired of it all and wants to quit. That is okay too. If that is what she wants to do then encourage her to do so and go to bat for her to the other memebers of the family. Through a Hospica program she can be kept at home, surrounded by her loved ones and can be kept completely knowcked out with pain meds or be given just enough to take the edge off the pain to where they can still interact with their family. Let HER make her decisions and decides what she wants to to and how long she wants to put up with it.

My father died of cancer and I was very shocked that he opted to want to try the last chemo because he was already so sick and this chem was going to make him sicker. He wanted to try though and he did for a couple of weeks and he had a seizure and was out of it a lot of the time and that is when my mother said, "NO MORE". It is hard to know what to say, but good things to say are just to reminisce about old times. Test her mood and see what she is telling you non verbally. I regeret that I never asked my father how he felt about dying and if he was scared. He was a very good Christian but I think he was a little sacred and had a bit of denial at the end. There will be good days and bad days. Make the MOST out of the good days. Use these days for looking through family photo boxes or watching old films. Use the bad days for quiet reflection or maybe read to your loved one from the Bible or from a favorite book. Good luck. Whatever you do, don't alienate youself from them. They will have enough people who will do that.

Answer 6

Yes, my aunt.
I was in Georgia and she was back here in Seattle so the only support I could give was over the phone.
When she had to do kemo the family said they would all shave their hair so she wouldn't feel bad, thankfully, she wouldn't let us.
The best support you can give is learning everything you can about the type of cancer the person has and go to support groups, talk to doctors and be a listening ear. You must also have strong shoulders and no matter what keep YOUR faith up with God.

Answer 7

My dad died from lung cancer last year. At first I cried a lot then I had to put my feelings aside and take care of him. It was a very emotionally draining time. He didn't seem to need any help dealing with it. He told me that he had lived a good, long life ( he was 77 years old) and he was ready. I think my biggest concern about him dying was the fact he wasn't saved, but he accepted Jesus as his savior about a month before he died.

Answer 8

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1993 and had a mastectomy and chemo, and things looked good,.I was the one who took her to all the appointments and chemo sessions as my father was in a wheel chair with diabetic neuropythy and would fall without warning if he walked. I took my mom to all her yearly xrays and doctor appointments and at 5 years they discovered the breast cancer had spread She had a tumor in Her brain and in both lungs all inoperable. This was at the same time my dad was recovering from double amputations above the knees. My brother and I took care of both of them at home. He was working 12 hours a day but came over every morning to help give our dad a bath and breakfast my moms shower,then He went home sleep. In mid august my mom had herself hospitalized so she could get radiation and chemo, round two so we could take care of my dad and not have to worry about Her. She died September 1 of the tumor in her brain that exploded. 2 months later my dad died of diabetic complications. My Brother and I just kept as positive about what was going on as we could, but they didn't really need us to help them cope as they were married 50 years and had a good life together they were positive and didn't complain of their illnesses as they loved each other and knew my brother and I would see that they got the best care. People have amazing resilience at times like these , I think they helped us cope with the way they never complained or any why Me's. They are greaty missed but they helped us to be positive and live life as best we can. Thats how you help them cope by being there when they need you.

Answer 9

I had breast cancer 6 years ago. Everyone was so supportive and that helped me get through alot of pain and medical treatments that were very unpleasant. Just be there for them. That is is the best thing you can do.

Answer 10

My future mother in law has Breast Cancer and it was somewhat difficult to know what to say. All I could do was offer my prayers and hope for the best. She has gotten past it though and is doing quite well now.