I asked this question a half hour ago but it never showed up on the list so i'm asking it again SORRY if it ends up on there twice i really didn't mean for it to.
My boyfriend of 4 months has really been talking about sex lately. I'm 14 and he's 16. He started asking me if I'd have sex with him why I dont want to go any further with him (we've kissed and madeout) i told him i'm not ready and he made a joke out of it. i told him i want to wait till i'm ready and i really love the guy. he's had sex once before and he keeps talking about it to. he keeps making provacative comments about me to like i'm so f*cking hot that i'd be so f*cking sexy naked...it makes me really uncomfortable. he said he wont pressure me but by saying that stuff i feel like he has. he finally said w/e when your ready your ready just let me know when that time comes. i do love him but i'm worried he only wants me for sex. am i wrong to wait? am i being to sensitive about this?
2007-09-19 15:42:42 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
he is a good guy and well...i kinda do want to but i'm not ready being ready and wanting to are two differen things.
2007-09-19 15:54:22 · update #1
You are smart not wrong, you are only 14. You know, at least it sounds like you know you aren't ready. He should respect you enough to wait and not make comments (which yes that is a form of pressure) I would ge rid of him. Remember though NO means NO! So if you say no and he does something report it. You are smart.
Have a good time and if you do decide to have sex, which is your choice, then use a condom.
2007-09-19 15:48:28 · answer #1 · answered by I'm here for now 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Do not let anyone pressure you into sex. How many times have you heard girls say as soon as she gave in, he left? And your innocence and virginity are not renewable!
Sex complicates your life so badly, You will then have to worry every single month until your period comes and if you are late there's that panic! Also once you give in, that is all he'll want to do from then on out, even if he doesn't dump you right after. The chances you 2 will end up married are not good to start with, and yes he will tell his friends, word will get around then boys will be asking you out only because they think you're easy. PLZZZZZ! Don't do it! If he trulely loves and respects you, he'll quit trying to pressure you, and yes he is whether he realizes it or not, he should show you some respect and not talk to you like that either, he's no gentleman , that's for certain! Do not fall for the "you would if you really loved me" Or "There are plenty of girls that will" (yes there are, but sleeping with him won't keep him from sleeping with them any way!) The only truth that matters is he should respect you enough to respect your choice and let it go. Also the youger you are when you start having sex, the more likely you are to develope cervical cancer later, this is a fact! If he's had sex before you also have to consider he could have an STD and not even know it. Sex just makes your life harder sweetie, don't do anything you're not ready for, and never ever let a guy push, pull or trick you into it, they will say anything to get what they want!
2007-09-19 23:05:01 · answer #2 · answered by ReBelle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO you are NOT wrong to wait, and NO you are not being sensitive!!
He is a 16 year old boy, and 16 - 17 - 18 (etc) yr old boys think about sex all the time. They want to have sex. Like the another poster said, these boys will say and do anything to get sex!
He is pressuring you by making those comments. I'm sure he cares about you BUT there is NO ONE who is going to take better care of you than YOURSELF. You must do what is right for you, take care of yourself and be true to you.
You are 14 years old. You have a long life ahead...why rush it? You have a lifetime ahead of you to have sex and do a lot of other things....you don't need to start now. Even if you waited to have sex until you were 20, that leaves you with 40+ years of sex in your lifetime.
Consider this too...Think of yourself 2 years ago...How much more do you know now? How much knowledge and life experience have you gained that has made you make different choices today than you would have 2 years ago? Give yourself more time to gain more knowledge and more life experience before you decide to have sex. You owe yourself the time you need. Once you do it, you can't take it back.
Good luck!
2007-09-19 22:59:03 · answer #3 · answered by seaelen 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is your common sense telling you that this is not the right time and maybe not the right person. LISTEN ! You are only 14 and that is far too young to be making that kind of a commitment to any guy. What do you think that he would do if you got pregnant.? Are either one of you willing to stop having fun, and being teenagers so you can stay home and take care of a baby ? I don't think so , and I can bet you that if you did get pregnant, that he would be gone in a heartbeat. If he is talking to you about this , then he is pressuring you to give it up. Tell him you think you will be ready when you are 16. If he really cares about being with you , he will wait. If sex is what he really wants then he won't be hanging out with you too long, but you will have your self respect and know that you didn't give yourself to someone who wasn't worthy of you. Birth control isn't foolproof , but more than that, you already know how you feel, so don't let any boy push you into using your body in ways you don't want. You are better than that.
2007-09-20 03:32:04 · answer #4 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is your choice and right as a woman to wait.... yes I called you a woman even though you are 14. You are old enough to dicuss this situation. But old enough to deal with the consequences of sex.... not at all. Picture yourself 9 months pregnant at 14. Not a wise choice. If you feel you are ready for sex, at least be smart about it and go to your doctor and get some birth control so you won't have that possibility. And please remember you want your first time to be special not end up with you crying because you regret that you chose the wrong guy. If he is asking you to and pressuring you to then he sounds like a bad choice for your first time. Also 16 year old boys talk.... alot so if you do he may say something about it to his friends and that is how rumors get started... usually straight from the horses mouth. Best of Luck with your cituation.
2007-09-19 23:02:38 · answer #5 · answered by Ethan's Momma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish all the girls were waiting like you. He is just being a typical male allowing his penis to lead him around. If he cares for you he will wait and leave you lone about it. Don't let him or anyone else pressure you or make their stupid jokes bring you down. Tell him that he should take home economics and the school offered parenting courses so he will be sure to know how to care for the baby that might come along as a result of his eagerness. Don't forget to tell him he actually has to pass those classes with an A too. That will take him at least the next couple of years. Most guys his age will head for the hills at the first mention of a baby.
2007-09-20 00:23:59 · answer #6 · answered by MJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right he is pressuring you to have sex, and by doing so he has told you that all he wants is sex. You are not being sensitive and you are not wrong to wait. You are 14 and have a lot of life ahead of you for sex. Stop for a minute and ask yourself if you are ready to give up your freedom if you became pregnant, because he doesn't have to. And while there are options available bottom line is sex = children and if you are not ready to be a mom then don't go there. In fact wait until you are married!!!!!! That may sound old fashioned but when you are both ready to make a lifelong commitment to each other then you are ready for sex.
At 14 it may seem like true love but give yourself a chance to date and find your "True Love". Someone who care about you not just your body.
2007-09-19 22:56:14 · answer #7 · answered by Teacher & Mom 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honey -
A boy who makes a joke about sex is NOT someone you want to have sex with. A man should respect you and your wishes. From your comments about you feeling "uncomfortable" it sounds like you are dating the wrong boy.
I married my highschool sweetheart - we've been married for over 7 years now, and met when we were both 15. I made it very clear that I was NOT going to have sex until ready, and that I would more than likely not be ready until married. He respected that, he did not really like it, but he knew my wishes and did not pressure me - a real man who LOVES and RESPECTS you will NOT pressure you in any way. We waited until our wedding night for sex - it was difficult, but we are both glad that we did so. (we married when we were 24 - so I made him wait 9 years!)
I would sit down, by yourself and make sure that you want to maintain this relationship. You are still very young, dating is about finding out the type of man you want to be with - don't jump into this until you are really ready.
Take care - and if nothing else, stay safe!
2007-09-19 22:53:14 · answer #8 · answered by Gal in MN 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great that you are brave enough to tell your bf that you're not ready.
Most girls are put into peer pressure and say yes and then they get pregnant and their lives are ruined.
If I were you I would wait until you totally feel like you know this is the guy you want to marry.
Ask a couple of your friends and see about their impute on this
They know you better than a million people on Yahoo! Answers
haha
Good Luck
and keep following your instincts
God Bless
2007-09-22 00:36:12 · answer #9 · answered by Rae 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you for sticking to your guns & not giving in to your b/f. Never let anyone make you do someting you don't want to do. He knows how you feel but he doesn't respect you at all. I say this because if he did respect you, he wouldn't be trying to pressure you into having sex with him, especially by making provocative remarks to you. You are way too young to have sex. If you feel that he only wants you for sex, you are probably right. I tend to agree with you also. You are NOT wrong or sensitive in your way of thinking. You have strong morals & I am proud of you. You can find love elsewhere, so when he starts putting more pressure on you, tell him it's time to go your seperate ways. Many guys out there would be proud to have you as their g/f. Don't give in!!!!
2007-09-19 22:57:27 · answer #10 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋