My bf's 2 year divorce process is over in a month and i know he is stressed about things the ex is trying to pull at the last min. (but thats not what this is about) I thought it would be nice to get away and take a trip to the beach. he is always hesitant to go away bc it's a hassle to find places for our dogs, so i found a hotel where we can take them. I even made sure they had a spa so we could get massages. i asked him to go the weekend after his court date bc i thought he'd be ready for a relaxing getaway at about that time. his response..."no, i'm probably going to be hating women at that time" he said it jokingly and it didn't really bother me...i just said "it's not fair if other people have to pay for someone else's mistakes" we laughed about it but how would you feel if you were me?
2007-09-19 15:11:42 · 8 answers · asked by Jax 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would get a friend of mine and go without him and leave the dogs at home.
You no doubt have put up with a lot of crap with the divorce to and for him to shrug you off like that and say "no i will be probably hating woman then" is crap.
I would go and tell him when he likes woman again give me a call!
2007-09-19 15:21:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
perhaps he's flat broke after the divorce and doesn't want to tell you?
Don't push him..he probably needs his space. Just because the rel;ationship is over doesn't mean he might not have feelings left for the EX,.
GO slow and let him figure it out on his own. Men process differently than women. If he says no it means no and has nothing to do with you. Relax and let him find his way.
2007-09-19 15:24:51 · answer #2 · answered by teritaur 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask again maybe a little after the court date. Let him get over this mess once and for all before you put something else on him (getting off work, figuring out how to enjoy vacation with the dogs, ex trying to hold it against him some how) divorce is hard don't be upset or have your feelings hurt he just has a lot on his plate right now. Good luck!
2007-09-19 15:25:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Even if you want a divorce, it is extremely stressful. Perhaps being a man, he just doesn't want to share emotion and needs time to get his act together. They mistakenly get caught up with the macho image they think they need to project.
A vacation could be just what he needs, but wait awhile. You are being very loving and now you have to be understanding too. He is a lucky guy, hopefully he will realize how lucky soon.
2007-09-19 15:25:58 · answer #4 · answered by missyj 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He is probably right in how he is going to feel. You were very kind in suggesting going away but why not wait a while for hjm to get over the divorce. I realize that you've been together a while but regardless how long.....divorce is traumatic and will take him some time to get over it being finalized. Don't take it personally.
2007-09-19 15:21:24 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Hurt that I was being compared to his ex. That to him it isn't a reason to rejoice after a fight that took so long to get done. I would not ask again, I would go some where and let him be by his self, so he could lick his wounds. Maybe by then he would appreciate who you are, and that you care. If that doesn't do it, then maybe he isn't such a good catch, maybe you should look for some other fish.
2007-09-19 15:25:55 · answer #6 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I would take this as a warning signal if I were you. What are his real reason for not wanting to get away from it all? But maybe he is not thinking straight at the moment - too bad you didn't keep this as a surprise.
2007-09-19 15:21:53 · answer #7 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Maybe that's what you need (and think he needs and deserves) and maybe that's not what he wants or feels he needs. He may need to exhale his way...whatever that is.
2007-09-19 21:31:56 · answer #8 · answered by Tonya R 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋