I liked this guy a lot..and he did too.. now we are bethrowed.. I find that these days he's putting in a lot of effort to ensure that me and his mom have a good relationship.. since he was brought up without a father, he is worried that his mom might get overly possessive and repel me after marriage.. hes in fact asking me to earn the love of his mom "as she would love her daughter". In fact he wants to cut down our time together whenever he feels that his mom might show some insecurity...
Is he getting too concerned or is it normal??
How do i earn the love of his overly possessive mother as well as sustain his interest in me?
2007-09-19 15:04:57 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am the first one to say that a guy who loves him mother is a great guy. However, this one is either a "mommy's boy" or one who is using his mother as an excuse to keep distance or limit intimacy with you. If that is the case, then you have a serious problem. Maybe he can't cut the umbilical cord. Take some time to hash this out with him before the wedding. I see some big red flags.
2007-09-19 15:12:00 · answer #1 · answered by bombastic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see red flags coming up. If his mother is able to control the relationship before marriage, believe me she will cause you heart ache later. You need to talk and tell him that when you get married ( read the vows really well) you should become the most important person in his life. Not that he isn't suppose to love his mother, but you are suppose to be number 1. Ask him if he would like it if you put your father before him. counciling for both of you, and maybe his mother will have to have some, so she doesn't put her nose in where it shouldn't be.
2007-09-19 15:19:46 · answer #2 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh this guy is putting you in an unfair position. It is not your business to earn the respect of his mom. He has to be the one who put boundaries in place concerning his Mom and lay it on the line with her how he wants her to treat you - she has to earn your respect! Don't marry him until this is all sorted out.
2007-09-19 15:12:08 · answer #3 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter how his mother acts around you.....you and your boyfriend decide how much impact you'll allow his mother to have.
He sounds overly concerned about this.
2007-09-19 15:12:16 · answer #4 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋