~One of my better poems, I think. Please comment?~?

Question

I'm rather bored at the moment. I thought I'd post one that I consider pretty good (feel free to correct me :-)

Here it is: (written from man's perspective)

~~Untitled Poem~~

I knew I should not linger there;
But stopped and smelled a flower fair
Of perfumed petals, rich and rare--
Its charming beauty was a snare;
So I plucked it from its trembling branch--
I plucked it then, and in a flash,
The time to linger there was passed.
A thunder roared, and rain blew fast;
A quiet voice I heard speak then,
Amid the gales and the din:
"Do this with love, and you shall sin:
To pick a flower, as a whim.
Love should grow, let it thrive;
But pick for pleasure, it will die."
And this I heeded for a while,
But after time, I asked: "Why
Should I fear a little voice,
Almost lost in all the noise?
I will revel and rejoice--
To listen is for little boys!

(Continued below)

"The pleasure of love is not to forego--
This pleasure I will finally know.
Only the broken say 'Love must grow';
This is all foolishness." And so....
I stopped and smelled a flower fair;
Of perfumed petals, rich and rare--
I knew I should not linger there,
But I was young, and did not care.

Oh, and please tell me what you think it is about. I suppose it could be taken more than one way, but I tried to make it pretty clear what the poem truly means.

*100% Angelic: I would be honored if you would use my poem for your declamation. I will be in contact with you via e-mail.

Answer 1

oooh i luv dis do u mind if i do dis 4 my declamation? hmm... then i'd hav 2 know the author(plz tell me ur name)
u can email me and plz give me a copy or ur poem


fyi declamation in my school is just standing in front of the class dressed up and reciting a literary wrk with emotions and gestures (quite embarassing actually)

Answer 2

This is a fantastic write. I have been dabbling in poetry most of my life, and I can never seem to get the words so well composed.

I'm not sure if I'm on the right track, but to me this like the saying "even the most tempting rose has thorns". I feel like this is about jumping into love (or lust) quickly, despite knowing that it will not last. I can relate to being young and throwing caution to the wind.

Answer 3

Okay, I'll take a stab. I think the meaning is not just generally about love, but specifically about sex! The only other explanation I could manage, that really fit, was marriage. I suppose some people marry just for sex, which is almost worse than just jumping into sex in the first place.

"This I heeded for a while..."

Answer 4

Your poem is well put together, however my main concern is the assumption of "a man's perspective" as well as a over-worn image of as the weaker sex, unable to chose but to be acted upon. To do so limits yourself and the work. I'd have prefered you not put that in as it would have made this strong work that much stronger.
Thank you for sharing this!

Answer 5

You have another hit, albeit an older one. Picking flowers.. good choice for girls. And the message to let them grow to love instead of being picked is phenomenally done. Now you can see why I write about you.. :) I like it a lot.

Answer 6

That is beautiful ma. The wonders of modern technology. You are a sensitive soul so I guess a sensitive heart goes with it. I reckon dogs know what the signals are that are being sent to them very clearly.

Answer 7

This was a beautiful poem. Smooth, well written, solid content. It is really refreshing to see something of this quality on here. Thank you.

Answer 8

very good, and i stayed up all last night writing a poem myself, turned it into a very good song called Yesterday, quite romantic and quite sad

Answer 9

I really like it. I read it twice and couldn't find anything wrong with it. Good job

Answer 10

you have wrote the most beautiful poem yet;I loved the meaning ; and it touched my heart,,Thanks for sharing ;;;Shelly