men's restroom edicet?

Question

i just curious i was talking to my husband and he said that there were just some things guys dont do in a public restroom.
he only mentioned a few
i was wondering how many "rules" are there?
how did you learn about them?

deacon are you trying to say something?

thanks anonymous spelling is not my thing!

Answer 1

Feel free to email me if you have further questions on this topic. It is one of those things that have puzzled women since, well, since the beginning of men's rooms. The following are my own assertions as to the "laws" as i know them in their entirety.

It’s these general guidelines that helped shape the very specific, time-honored, and inflexible rules that govern the behavior in a men’s room.

1. This first rule determines all the others. Men go to the rest room only to perform their bodily functions. Period. During that time, the privacy of each man is inviolable.

2. Men do not speak to each other in rest rooms. Ever. It is forbidden. A men’s rest room is like a sacred tomb. Speaking would turn it into a social gathering, which would be entirely inappropriate in a place where private bodily functions are the principle goal. If a young boy accompanies his father into the rest room and starts talking to his father, that is a barely forgivable offense. The child is not killed only because of his age and his ignorance of the code. The other men in the room then look at the father and relay the unspoken message that he’d better inform his son in a hurry about The Rules. No father forgets The Look twice. (IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE THAT THIS IS THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE TIME TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ANOTHER MAN IN THE SANCTUARY AS EXPLAINED BELOW)

3. Men do not make eye contact with each other in the rest room. To do so would be an unconscionable violation of the privacy of another man in a sacred place. If you doubt this, station yourself outside a public men’s room and watch the men and they go in and out of this holy chamber. You will never see one pair of eyes lock with another. Sacrilege.

4. Men do not wait in line in rest rooms. In the rare circumstance where a men’s rest room is full, men may pretend to comb their hair, examine the ceiling tiles for structural integrity, repeatedly wash their hands, or leave the rest room and come back when it’s not full. But they will never stoop to actually stand in a line. To stand behind another man at a urinal or to obviously wait outside a toilet stall would be an intolerable breach of etiquette and personal privacy.

5. If there are multiple urinals in the rest room, men must use alternating urinals unless absolutely unavoidable. Let’s imagine, for example, that I come into the rest room and there are four urinals on the wall. If another man is using the second one from the left, I may use the fourth, but never the first or third, which would place me next to the man standing. The same rule applies to multiple toilet stalls. This can be further explained at another time.

6. If you have no toilet paper in your stall, that’s just tough. You’re out of luck. The fates have abandoned you to your dismal end. Next time you’ll check before you sit down, won’t you? A man does not speak to get the help of another man to save him in such a humiliating situation. He simply handles it in as dignified a fashion as possible—the possibilities of which are never to be spoken.

7. After relieving oneself, if there is no soap at the sink—as there usually isn’t in a public rest room—a man must pretend to wash the bacteria from his hands with plain water. Otherwise, everyone will assume that he was raised in a barn with the pigs. There is some flexibility with this one rule, because many men WERE raised in a barn and are proud of their porcine heritage.

8. Under no circumstances what-so-ever may a man standing at a urinal look down and to the side. The proper position is always to stand still while looking straight ahead at the wall. Graffiti is sometimes provided for reading material.

There are no penalties for violation of these rules—commandments, really—because violation is simply inconceivable. Boys are taught these rules from an early age, and they don’t even realize they’re learning them. Keep in mind that I was over twenty years of age before I even realized that I wasn’t speaking in men’s rooms. Recently I was walking into a men’s room at a theater, and right behind me was a boy, about age fourteen, who in turn was followed by his younger brother, maybe four years old. They were talking as they approached the men’s room, but the moment the four-year-old’s foot touched the threshold of the inner sanctum, his older brother put his finger to his lips and said, “Shhhhh.” In that moment, if I had asked the older boy why he was shushing his younger brother, I guarantee you that he would not have known the answer. He would simply have known to his core that in that sacred place there should be no talking.

A man’s time in a rest room is no laughing matter. Many men will not use a public rest room at all. Or they walk into a restroom to be sure no one else is there before they will use it.

I share all this partly because it reveals so much about the nature of men. Most men are not even consciously aware of the rules, but they keep them anyway. Virtually no women are aware of this code of conduct, and it has a bearing on their understanding the behavior of men everywhere they go.

As stated before, these really aren't "written law," rather, they are simply known to us, as men. It is instinct. I am quite positive that there are many more, but these are the basics.

Answer 2

If you go to a row of urinals and another guy is there, don't stand next to him but don't stand right at the end either. It makes you look insecure.

If two guys are there, it is permissible to stand at the end.

Don't make conversation with strangers. Two buddies are allowed to make conversation (as you will know men do not usually go to the restroom in pairs but if a big group of them are at a bar a co-incidence of visits is likely).

Don't leave the door open when using a stall.

Don't hang around.

We don't learn the rules from someone else, it's just instinct. What we, and the other men, feel comfortable with (or rather, have the minimum of discomfort with).

Answer 3

You mean like, don't look at another guy while he's using the urinal? If someone is urinating, don't take the urinal next to him unless it's the only one available?

That's just simple courtesy. There aren't any stalls associated with urinals, so we make our own walls, so to speak. People like privacy when they go to the bathroom. When you go to a public restroom, I'm guessing you probably don't leave the stall door open and invite other people to come in and talk to you, right? Well, in our own way, we don't either.

Answer 4

My husband says he will not use a urinal at all if there is another man in the restroom. Instead, he will go to a stall to relieve himself. He says it's because urinating in plain sight of other people makes him uncomfortable. I've been married to him for over a quarter of a century and I have never seen him urinate. Of course, I should mention that it's not really anything I would want to see anyway.

Answer 5

Rule number 1: If you see Larry Craig, back away.
Rule number 2: if you see George Michael, see above
Rule number 3: if you see Pee Wee Herman, see above.

Most importantly, if a hand reaches up under the stall, the owner is not asking you to "spare a square."

Answer 6

You can say just about everything women do in a public restroom men DON'T do. Except for relieving ourselves of course.

Answer 7

-Don't speak. Ever.

-Look straight ahead.

-If someone is using a urinal already, you need to chose one that is at least 2 urinals down. Same goes for stalls if there are enough.

-Get in, do your stuff, get out.

Answer 8

Stare straight ahead at the wall in front of you, no looking from side to side.

Answer 9

One thing for sure, they definately don't care if anyone hears them fart on the toilet seat.

Answer 10

no eye contact, small talk,or contact of any kind. just good policy.