My husband is very loving and wonderful. He's faithful and sweet, BUT, very jealous. I'm not allowed to have friends, (i know being a tomboy doesn't help), but everyone needs friends. He has some anger issues, and doesn't really have any friends himself. I've filied for divorce after reaching my boiling point, but, I'm not sure if I should really go, I know he loves me and would never really hurt me, but, can I handle the jealousy?
2007-09-19 13:02:31 · 16 answers · asked by Elizabeth C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you know a person can only handle so much. if he's not willing to change or get help, then divorce may be your only option.
yes, everyone needs friends and he doesnt understand that because he doesnt really have any himself. he needs help.
maybe you two can work sumthing out if he is willing, otherwise...divorce.
2007-09-19 13:18:15 · answer #1 · answered by americangurl_28 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The jealousy isn't your problem to handle - its his. If he knows its causing relationship problems yet hasn't made the attempt without being prompted to get help - then I say you are in the right. You could talk to a counselor about it just for reassurance and to thoroughly think it through. From my experience, this jealous and controlling behavior is extremely hard to change even with the best of help, my advice is divorce is the right thing if you are scared at any point, or really can't live as his little love hostage.
2007-09-19 13:10:02 · answer #2 · answered by Sweetness 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jealousy in a relationship is always a bad thing. Even though he loves you, the thought of him seeing you with other people has the effect of anger on him. I would suggest talking to someone that you both trust, like a marriage counselor, or to a religious person. Jealousy does evolve into hitting eventually. My best friend is a girl, and I know that even though we hang out sometimes, jealousy is never an issue as long as trust and respect are involved.
2007-09-19 13:09:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you can't handle the jealousy, and neither would any self respecting woman, especially from any man that pulls that card.
There's plenty of loving, faithful, caring, fun, men out there who aren't insecure and don't feel the need to get jealous and control who your friends are and IF he thinks they should be your friends.
Get the divorce, and don't second guess yourself.
You are doing the right thing and I think you already know that, that's why you filed.
2007-09-19 13:41:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being controlling and not allowing you to have friends and not trusting you are all a form of emotional abuse. You have done the right thing by letting him know that you are serious when you said that if things didn't change that you would leave. Now he knows and the ball is in his court. If he goes to get help and tries to change then you will know that he heard you and really wants you to stay. At that point you can decide. For right now you are doing the right thing.
2007-09-19 13:10:46 · answer #5 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, its seems that your pretty sure that he loves you so much but how about you do you love him still? Sometimes we decide on things when were angry and regret the decision later on. Do you think you can handle being without him than hes jealousy. Were you able to talk to him about your concern , regarding his being jealous all the time. You have to sort your emotions here, be prepared on things to come. Specially the process after you get your divorce. good luck
2007-09-19 13:15:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest talking to you husband and explaining how you feel for him, but how you are a tom boy and like hanging with friends. Let him know how his jealousy is what is the cause for possible divorce and see if he wants to work through it, if so be patient it will take time. If you are having doubts rethink the situation and try to fix it that way you know you didnt just give up.
2007-09-19 14:55:56 · answer #7 · answered by bigjuggies79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If his jealousy is that out of hand then I'd say you would be happier without him. Theres nothing wrong with wanting to see some peace in your life. If you truly love him, and want to make it work, peraps mention marraige counceling or some type of therapy or anger management. But I am a firm believer that some men you can never change. {as well as women}.
2007-09-19 13:33:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want friends or your husband? If you love him you can work it out. He probably doesn't want to share you with anyone because you are his best friend. He doesn't trust people that much. I think you should stay, you say you know he loves you and never would hurt you. You could end up with somebody worst. I don't say this much but maybe counselling would help.
2007-09-19 13:25:10 · answer #9 · answered by moonchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have not said you loved him. Because if you love him and want to work things out you can. But if you don't then Yes, you made the right choice.
2007-09-19 13:07:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋